I'll make this one into a list:

1. Amen - It makes it seem as if you want to start off praising something, as an author. But really, it's the people in the story doing the amen-ing.

2. Second sentence - "as" indicates "while" or "at the same time", but the minister isn't performing an action; he's just standing there. That makes it seem awkward.

3. Some sentences are too long, and that throws me off the main ideas (sentences: 3rd, 2nd in 2nd paragraph).

4. "He was looking east, the same direction as the casket..." - this is strange, like the casket can look east... o_o''

5. In the second sentence of paragraph two, I think you should leave off at "winds", and skip "unusually" - that would cut sentence length and would make it less repetitive (because you already said "east"). And I say that you should skip "unusually" because if you cut the sentence, December winds are usually cold. It's winter!

Actually I have a lot of time right now because I just got home from college for Thanksgiving break, and I feel like doing anything but study for my three exams next week....
... so I took the liberty to edit your thirteen lines and made it fourteen. Is this even allowed? If I wasn't supposed to, I'll feel really bad about it when I find out. Please don't hate me?

And DON'T change your original if you don't want to, but I altered some things so they made more sense to me (personally). I'm actually just helping myself. heheheheh.

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“Amen!”

The family raised their bowed heads to the minister who was standing at the head of the flag-draped casket. In the casket was Joseph Caroll Marshall, set away to sleep until some future resurrection morning when he would be awakened to the breaking of a “new day” and find the peace that had eluded him in life.

Just as the casket was facing east, so was the preacher. He was focused on a lone figure in the distance – a white man, clad in a long black jacket to protect him from the cold December winds. The man was on the crest of a small hill, in a section once reserved for “true southerns” overlooking the once “colored” section of the Zion Cemetery. Standing between large twin limestone markers, he appeared more a sentinel than a participant.

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I thought that the dead man was part of the family. The family was religious. This book has to do with post-civil war racial issues. I felt that you started with a somber atmosphere.

And in the back of my mind, I thought the white man standing a bit away in the east caused the death of the black man in the coffin, either directly or indirectly. The man in the coffin was black, right? And the family? And the preacher?

There was an air of mystery around that white man.

The man's action's indirectly caused the man's death, Marshall and his famiy and minister are black. The book does have a racial element to it but is set over the 1960's to 1998.

I just noticed that my original 13 was edited and the following was deleted I guess my formatting was off, here are the remaining lines....."

NOTE FROM KATHLEEN: Sorry, the rule is 13 lines and no more. Not 13 lines per post.

You can post the first 13 lines of the next chapter, when you are ready to ask for feedback on it, but you can only post the first 13 lines.

You can post rewritten 13 lines, but only 13 lines.

I am not an expert or professional writer. So if my comments don't make sense, SORRY.

I agree with seikari that the ideas are not very clear, particularly in your longer sentences. Perhaps if you could choose an interesting focus.

Or, perhaps I should say that there are too many details, such as
He was looking east, the same direction as the casket so that on some future resurrection morning its occupant, Joseph Caroll Marshall, could see the breaking of a “new day” and find the peace which had eluded him in this life.
It is a good sentence, but would be better if said in fewer words.

To answer your question, I think that your paragraph has achieved a 'void' of feeling. There is no feeling words that describe how everyone is feeling. For example, it doesn't say how the preacher is feeling about this stranger that has his attention. The stranger has his attention, so I think that there would be some kind of emotion involved. Is the preacher annoyed with this white man or is he happy to see an old friend.

Do you understand what I mean?
I like to read about how people feel towards each other, their relationship. I find that those make very interesting twists to an otherwise boring story.

I hope this made sense. If you want any clarifications, you can always ask. I'll watch. Good luck!

"He stood at the crest of a small hill, in a section once reserved for ‘true southerns’ overlooking the once ‘colored’ section of the Zion Cemetery."

I got rather lost at that point and it really brought me out of the story. I think it's a bit long and I wasn't sure what 'true southerns' referred too, this isn't a problem though if you plan to explain later. I also had a hard time picturing what your explaining. Otherwise I liked it and I think I would turn the page.