I'm at a rut in my writing. I find myself uninterested in my stories after a certain point, which is bad. If I'm not interested then surely my audience won't be. I have several theories about what it is I'm stuck on, but I'll leave it to you guys to tell me what you think.

I'm not so much concerned with grammar or technicalities--Feel free to tell me about them--but what I really need advice on is the content.

Did you enjoy reading it?
Was the hook ok?
Did you need to reread any sentences?
Etc.

Anyways, I thank you all in advance for any helpful advice you can give. And please--tell me even the smallest of issues--at this point I'm willing to try anything to get out of this rut.

V2.

I tried rewriting it completely. I'm not sure what to think of it yet, but please tell me what you think.

quote:

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Emmy furrowed her brows, watching the ten thousand soldiers of the late king build campfires in the distance. She slammed her fist against the cold stone of the tower. They could run no further, trapped between the army and the end of the world—the Great Nothing. The townsfolk, what remained of the Chavalkian Kingdom, had no means to protect themselves from the onslaught of soldiers to come.
She sighed and peered out over the village, running fingers through her long and dark hair. John, her protector and friend, knelt under a tall marble statue of the Earth Mother. A pang of guilt surged through her. He would die with Emmy, a traitor to the kingdom he loved, forsaken by his family. His trust in her had cost him everything.

---

quote:

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Emmy slammed the oak door shut, and sighed, running her bony fingers through her long and dark hair. Think dammit! John beat his fists on the outside of the door. "Not now," her voice boomed, echoing the log cabin. Her head throbbed in agony with every heartbeat. They can't be telling the truth—not after all we've been through—how far we've come. The churchyard bells tolled, vibrating dust through thick patches of light behind the curtains. Hundreds of miles from home, an entire army hacking at her heels, she found the end of the world—The Great Nothing—right on top of the Chavalkian Kingdom. She struck her fist to the wall. There is an answer, dammit, search for it.

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[This message has been edited by Gan (edited January 08, 2009).]

If you're having trouble sustaining this level excitement, I'm not at all surprised.
This may not have bearing on you particularly, but I've found (and seen lots of other people say the same) that sometimes it's that the story has gone off-track (and won't be written the wrong way), but more usually that the story doesn't have enough tension, that scenes are segueing without having their own antagonist, be it the hero's best friend, for that moment. The middle is the hardest part. The action needs to keep coming, making way for the end from the beginning, but it can't be the big, pretty mess of a climax yet.

For troubleshooting this sort of thing there are some really great books, of which Orson Scott Card's Writing Fantasy and Science Fiction is one. That book pretty much covers everything about writing and doesn't pull punches, so no matter the level of the writer, it has bearing.

This just to say, it's not the stories, or even your ability to write that's lacking. You may need to find what it is you're losing hold of when into the story, though.
Or it may be that you just need to power through. In most of the novels I've finished the middle has felt like a real drag, but re-reading it, I'm never sure where the drag began or ended. It sounds about as good!

Marathon principle I guess.

Just want to encourage you! You sound a bit down...

Honu, thank you for your comments. I originally wrote this to be near the end of the story, which is why it might seem to be lacking some of that information. I'll take a look and make sure everything is explained clearly at some point--I'm just afraid to explain too much too soon, as I don't want to info dump. When I get the time to look through it I'll try and make some revisions.

Thanks guys.

Edit: I've changed a word in the sentence explaining the army at her heels. See if this makes the situation any clearer.

Double Edit: After looking through some of my older writing, I've definitely found a lack of antagonist present. Perhaps I need to characterize the antagonists better--it seems I'm afraid to introduce them--I'll try it out and get back to you. Thanks Arachne.

[This message has been edited by Gan (edited January 08, 2009).]

[This message has been edited by Gan (edited January 08, 2009).]

Emmy slammed the oak door shut, and sighed, running her bony fingers through her long and dark hair. Think damnit!
Okay, a woman on the run from something or someone, probably an old woman because of the bony hands.

John beat his fists on the outside of the door.
So she's running from John. So far, so good.

"Not now," her voice boomed, echoing the log cabin.
First confusion. This doesn't sound like something you'd say to an attacker. And her voice booming makes her sound powerful.

Her head throbbed in agony with every heartbeat. They can't be telling the truth—not after all we've been through—how far we've come.
Who are they? What did they tell her? Right now I'm lost enough about what's going on that it's more irritating than suspenseful not to be told. And is "we" Emmy and John? Does that make him a friend? If so, why's he trying to beat down the door?

The churchyard bells tolled, vibrating dust through thick patches of light behind the curtains.
Okay, this tells me more about the log cabin, but in her panicked state, is she really paying attention to the minute vibrations in dust motes behind the curtains? I also don't understand the significance of church bells - makes me think of an imminent disaster for the town.

Hundreds of miles from home, an entire army hacking at her heels, she found the end of the world—The Great Nothing—right on top of the Chavalkian Kingdom.
Huh? She's not hundreds of miles from home, she's in her home, isn't she? This is too much unconnected information for me at this point, and the sentence structure is unclear, with the "entire army hacking at her heels" - now I'm trying to figure out if that's what she's running from.

She struck her fist to the wall. There is an answer, dammit, search for it.
An answer to what? I still don't understand the question.