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Author Topic: Need help with the opening paragraph
Doublehex
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Member # 3433

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quote:
It was February Seventeenth, and the year After Colony 075. Thousands of miles beneath the Pacific Ocean, one of Advent’s great submarines, mobile battle fronts, and platforms of Mobile Suits operations, the Colčre de Sept, sped above the expansive miles of undersea mountains and caverns. The Captain of the fine vessel, Anthony Teratova, sat in the submarine’s cafeteria, sipping quietly on some chicken soup the chef had prepared especially for him everyday ever since he became Captain.

I know this needs alot of work to hook the reader, but I can't seem to figure out where to start. Can any of you guys help me out?


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Ray
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I think you'll get better results if you post this in Fragments and Feedback.
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First Assistant
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Exactly. This forum is for discussing books that have already been published.
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