I'm wondering, though, if you're talking about a plan for a story or the actual start of the story.

If it's the plan, do you have it all planned out, or only some of it?

Do you know what point of view you want to use? I ask that because Toriyn isn't going to think of the place where he lives as "ancient" or "Greece." So are you telling the story as an omniscient narrator, or is the story going to be from Toriyn's point of view?

What does Toriyn want? How does he feel about this stranger telling him about his future? Who is Toriyn in the first place and who is there for him to rebel against?

Have you read Orson Scott Card's books CHARACTER AND VIEWPOINT and HOW TO WRITE SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY in which he talks about kinds of stories? Do you know what kind of story you're planning to tell? (What you've described so far makes me think it could be any of the four, but I'd go for either the character story or the event story if I were you.)

1. I'm thinking that this will be both a character and event story ( the event being the rebellion against Mt. Olympus )

2. He knows he lives in a world where gods, mysterious creatures, and most of the mythos roam.

3. Toriyn is a guy that wants to be the chief of his village one day and take over for his father.

4. He's totally freaked out about hearing the news of his future from some guy that appears to him while he's hunting.

5. I have the story planned out to tentatively having Ares reveal himself later in the story, but someone is pulling his strings. Ares is doing this to get more power. I was thinking that Thanatos and Cronus joins forces and has poor Toriyn lead the way as a puppet.

An "event" story is when there is something wrong with the way things are (an imbalance in the status quo, more or less) and the story starts when the main character decides to do something about it.

From what you've said, I don't think you are talking about an event story.

A "character" story is when a character either desires a role he doesn't have or is thrust into a role he doesn't want. What you've described sound much more like a character story (both ways) than an event story.

I really think you need to read CHARACTER AND VIEWPOINT and HOW TO WRITE SCIENCE FICTION AND FANTASY by Orson Scott Card so you will better understand the story you are planning to write.

Toriyn is going to be thrust into a leadership role of a rebellion, not into the role of being chief of his village. He has no idea of what being a leader is all about yet and he's going to have a hard to doing so.

Now with all that said, is this a good example of a character story?

Let's say I have this world that's strictly dependent its technological advancement, far more so than we are. They've been building robots (I use the term loosely; I refer to them in all shapes and sizes, androids abound) to take all the dirty jobs. Manual labor and whatnot. The society's leaning as far as it can toward being as autonomous as they can. Once they have robots doing every job that could be done by robots, most of them can focus on leisure, and the rest, on attempting to further the technology, or to explore space, or what have you. The point is, they're building more and more machines, and the only really sought-after jobs are programmers -- who are fervently working on programming robots that can learn how to program for them.

But this world has two quite large problems: One, they're running out of resources <i>fast</i>. It takes materials to build these things, and those materials are pretty much almost gone. Two, a radical group called (insert radical group here) is making hell on the robotics manufacturers, as they think that this system is placing far too much power in the robots' hands, and fear a hostile takeover, despite the three laws of robotics.

So then, let's say I have another world that exists more or less parallel to this one. Same shape, same size, same place, just grew up differently. Planetary fraternal twins, let's call them, that live on slightly different planes. This world has not been producing technology by themselves; they rely heavily on magic. Their system is simplified as thus: One corporation simply called the Company is host to three near-omniscient energy forms that monitor the world. If they detect any illegal use of magic, whether it's an unpermitted spell, or a permitted spell that commits a crime, they alert the Company, and it sends its Headhunters out to detain the criminal and clean up the mess he might have made. The Company is very good at what they do.

This world is rather primeval; its largest kingdom is ruled by a shapeshifting, backstabbing Queen named Nyth, and the Company's top Headhunter is an elf named Jerin who can either see exceptionally well and not hear at all, or hear exceptionally well and not see at all, but there's never any grey area. There are faeries and dwarves and most of the creatures of lore -- even demons, which is where one of this world's problems lies. Normally, the demons stick to their own business, playing their games of status and kicking back, just having fun, but once in a blue moon, there's a black sheep that just has to ruin it for them all. This black sheep's name is Raelk, and he's a dangerous mix of demon and man. The demon blood in him dictates to go kill things; the human in him says wait, stop, think about what you're doing. Regardless, he's making trouble for the Company, and they're going nuts just trying to find him.

Both worlds affect each other on an almost constant basis, though the denizens of each have no idea that the other exists. For example, Michael, a software programmer, has a strange knack for controlling the autonomous -- he can look at a light switch and it will fall, but he'll soon forget about it and pay it no real mind. At the same time, bits and pieces of his world's technology is showing up in Raelk's world, and getting twisted by magic -- a machine that is infested with nature's grace turns into something else entirely.

So here's my question: How do I get the two worlds to know each other? I have a plan, once they do; I want the people of the technological world to see the magic of the other world in effect and realize that it could solve their resources problem, then try to cultivate it as they did every other resource -- try to figure out what, exactly, magic is. I even have plans for that part of it, though it involves quite a bit of researching, but in the end, I'm going to have them start a group (lovingly named the Asimov Project) that is devoted to crafting robots who can cast limited magic -- just enough to make their tasks autonomous but effective. For example, a robot that can grow a forest over a period of a few years, or a satellite that can monitor the world's climate and make little changes here when needed. At the same time, the technological world could help the Company track and take down Raelk.

So. Any ideas? Problems? Gaping holes?

I think you're more likely to get that if you post this summary in the Fragments and Feedback section. I think the people there would love to suggest ideas for you.

I need to start a story as the first assignment: a character and a conflict...hmmm, dum de dee dum, let see what the cat has in the bag...

("My, my Matilda! You was allus a tom-boy, but you look like a damsel in dis dress!")

Wow, there's not much in here.

My first assignment and I have writer's block!

Okay, how this for an idea:

A lazy young man in his early twenties comes home for breakfast late one morning after having stayed overnight at a friend's house. He finds the place stripped of all possessions and thinks it has been burglerized until he finds a note on the floor from his parents. The note states that they have run away taking all their things with them. He has one month before the people they sold the house to move in.

A US platoon on patrol in Afghanistan is ambushed and the platoon is wiped out. The sole survivor is of Middle Eastern decent and to survive he disguises himself as one of the locals. He then tries to find his way back to base and safety.

I see this as leading to several possible scenarios:
1) In disguise he falls in with a group of locals who turn out to be rebels. He is not able to leave safely so must assist them in what they are doing.
2) He is spotted by another US platoon who mistake him for a rebel and he must defend himself.
3) He is helped by a local village and while there the village is attacked by US forces who belive it is a rebel base. He assists the village in (defending itself/escaping).

Slight bit of background:
A girl, nicknamed Luky (pronounced looky not lucky), grows up with an imaginary friend, whom - strangely - she only sees in a mirror in her Grandmother's attic. The girl is a slight bit older than luky, but while Luky has continued to age into her 30's, the girl in the mirror stopped at about age 20..

Story Idea:

Luky, is startled awake by a loud scream while staying at her Grandmother's house. The scream came from the attic.

Luky has just had a nightmare in which the girl from the mirror threw a child through the mirror. The child landed in the attic dust, and then the girl turned around and all Luky remembers is a horrible scream and a very bright flash of light.

Luky - of course - investigates the attic the next day, to no avail. What IS strange is that the girl from the mirror (ok lets call her mirrorgirl for now...)is there in the mirror when luky looks, but Mirrorgirl is just lying there, possibly dead, no marks
anywhere. Luky can see the room the Mirrorgirl is lying in and its a baby's room, with no baby.

It takes just a few days of watching for Luky to realize she is either 1) crazy or 2) this is another world and that Luky has witnessed a murder. Luky recklessly touches the mirror (ok YES that part needs thought out), wishing she could enter that world... and finds herself in a world of magic.

First idea: There's a set of conjoined twins, both connected at the waist who were born with extraordinary abilities; one, on the left, has foresight, while the other, on the right, has the wonderful ability to forget. :-P

They both pilot a small galactic 'trash' ship, capturing and destroying/recycling space junk left from centuries of careless humans: useless satellites or simple industrial waste, on and on, etc. etc.

Second idea: They come across a peaceful race of aliens who happen to worship the stars and whatever is in it. They believe that all creatures deserve the right to worship whatever they believe and that they have no right to compell or battle others for the sake of their religious beliefs or their right to existance.

The main conflict, and probably not the only one, comes when the twins inadvertantly dismantle and destroy what the aliens consider an "artifact" of GREAT holiness and significance to their entire culture. The twins encounter the aliens who beg the question, "Why have you destroyed the _______ of all that is holy!"

The twins have to find a way to get out of the situation without causing a war between alien and human. The twin with foresight sees several outcomes, but never knows which path to take (the ability is for themselves and not others) while his twin constantly asks what's going on. :-P

The aliens, on the other hand, are faced with the delima of losing their holy relic, which, in it's destruction, they have to restructure their entire life-style and existance; further being tested on their pacifistic, peacful ways. Do they kill the infedel humans or do they forgive them and resign themselves to such a depressingly long and arduous task of restructuring their lives.

A rakish boy whose mother is an alcoholic and whose older brother Colyn is always angry and looks down on him. The boy, Greg who is carefree and goodhearted survives through the good hospices of his friends. But an evil accusation from his brother threatens to drive him insane, "no matter what you do, your a loser and we'll always be looking after you"

Greg lays on a floating dock looking at the blue sky and wonders what the Fates have in store for him, until a bottle floats to him. Inside a message, which promises to fulfill all his dreams but he first must wish away his worst enemy..

JK shared his idea about a priest who is made into a vampire, and the ensuing spiritual turmoil in this man's life. The fact that he drinks another person's blood torments him.

It occurred to me that this torment would be exacerbated by the fact that by the 7th century Christians believed, and the Catholic Church affirmed at the Cousel of Trent(1562–63), that in the Eucharist (Communion) the bread and the wine are "transubstantiated", becoming in fact the actual flesh and blood of Christ.

Can you imagine the conflict raging in this priest's soul while tryng to administer Holy Communion to his flock? When bringing the chalice of Christ's blood (from which only the priest drinks)to his lips?

I'm a Protestant, so I don't know if this is still taught by the Church, but one would have to set the story far enough back in history for this point to be relevant to the priest.

-- Boricua

Yes, we believe this and it is still called "transubstantiation". (Actually, when I say 'we believe this' I can't actually talk for the one billion Catholics out there, but rather what I mean is this is still the teachings of the church). Is Vatican II the entire congregation, not just the priest, drinks the precious blood.
This belief was the reason early Christians had the charge of cannibalism leveled at them.

The "Wildlands" are home to fueding clans that have recently struck up a tenative truce due to the onset of an early and bitter winter. The two largest clans are bitter rivals that still have a fair amount of bad blood between them. The ruler of the Southern "Civilized lands" decides to take advatage of their predicament by forcing them to sign alliegence to him or suffer a trade embargo that would surely be the end of them all. He demands that they send an emissary by a predetermined date to sign the contract.

One of the major clans emissaries is waylaid on his way to sign the contract. The Ruler believes his clan to be the only rebel faction. He strikes up a deal with the rival clan.

The rival clan shows up a hundred strong bearing no weapons and speaking of the glorious union between all of the clans under the banner of the ruler. They come bringing gifts of food and grain and that night a great feast is put on as a show of welcoming and hospitality. When everyones is fat with food and drink all fall asleep. The rival clan wakes up before dawn and with weapons they brought hidden slaughter every man and able boy in the clan.

A small hunting party returns from the mountains with the last haul of furs and meat for the year to find the carnage. The men all dead, the women and children gone.

Now that I think about it the emissary might be the better opening scene.

Any thoughts?

Scott

Edited to add:

The emissary is from the wiped-out clan, too, right? (Or did I misunderstand?)

Anyway, using the POV of the emissary takes the story out of a revenge story, and yet the emissary will certainly sympathize with the hunters and their desire for revenge. The emissary will have a bigger picture of things, though, and want to find a way to not only obtain justice, but help the remainder of his people survive.

I think it will be more interesting for the emissary to have to figure out what happened and what can be done to salvage things, so I agree that the emissary is the best choice for POV and for the story start.

Again, please start writing.

When you start with a situation, a next step might be to then ask yourself who suffers from the situation and therefore would try to change things.

I have about 9,000 words so far and about 3,000 word ending...but I like the try-fail idea. It's the first time I heard about that.

I wrote something up about that workshop and posted it here if anyone is interested.

Also, in a novel, you can have the goals change as the character learns more from each try-fail cycle, so that what the character tries for early in the novel isn't the same thing as what the character tries for later. But, as you said, that's for novels.

Maybe I would sell more if I had more conflicts solved with edged weapons.

One way to describe tragedies is that they are stories where the two antagonists discover too late that they weren't really on opposite sides after all, and if they had only known, they could have worked things out.

I like the positive ending to that kind of story, when two parties with worthy objectives are working at cross purposes and the story is resolved when they figure out how to cooperate so that both sides achieve some kind of success.

So it's fine to start with two people in conflict. If you can make them both "good guys" in the sense that they are trying to achieve good things, you will create interesting conflicts in the reader (who will not know whom to "cheer" for) and you will have a chance of avoiding predictability in your story.

Then, if you can come up with a satisfying resolution to their dual problem, you will have achieved a "double whammy" instead of just having one winner.

A mother kills her child, and is brought to trial. Her defense: it came from my body, so don't I have a right to terminate it? Two outcomes: she's jailed (and it's a philisophical text) or she wins (then we have a horror story).

The conflict is less the speculative aspect than just the interrelational nightmare. The bride wants to keep her autonomy, the groom wants to honor his traditions, and his family wants the groom to do what they say (since this has been his pattern up to now).

I don't know if he ever sold it, but it is the SKELETON CREW collection.

My own thought on writing a story that's not likely to sell is to write it anyway because you need the practice. I've found that the more I stifle myself, the harder it is to write, and the more I write what I find interesting, the more ideas I have.

I have to confess a bias here, though: I have a hard time getting into stories that start with description because they don't make me care. The only ones that work for me are the descriptions written from a character's point of view, because such descriptions can be used to show the character (by what the character notices and cares about, for example).

I would have to alter at least one of the descriptions though as I had described the rising moon affected by the sand rsing of the dessert as a half empty glass of wine rising to a pair of unseen lips (can't think of exact wording at present). For some reason I don't think a wolf would come up with this description

A variation on the "start with death, end with justice" story is what might be called the "or-else" story, where death is the cost of losing, so the motivation is to prevent the death.

Serial killer mysteries are a kind of combination of both in that there have already been deaths, but there is also the rush to prevent any more deaths.

It can also be argued that physical death is not the only kind of death that can motivate. Death of someone's self-image (or role in life) can be an extremely powerful motivator in stories of either kind, but they tend to fit more in the "character" designation than in the "event" designation.