Mailing Format: Email to merryfield (at) shaw.ca with "First 13" and your Hatrack Nick in the subject line. (This will allow me to run a search through my email.)

The polls will close the following Tuesday at approx. noon, with results posted that evening.

Rules:

• You can begin the story from any chronological part of the synopsis.

• Ensure it is only 13 lines. Read this thread for instructions on how to be certain.

• Any details not specified in the plan can be made up as long as they do not SERIOUSLY alter the story.

• Include all italic and bold formatting code in the text so the moderator can just cut and paste the text when he/she posts them.

• Remember, this contest is ABOUT mastering the hook--so have one.

• When you have finished email it to the moderator (by WEDNESDAY). The moderator will then assign it a number and record the authors name next to it. The moderator will then post it with the number only, not the name, in a separate thread from the story outline thread as he/she receives them.

*PLEASE don’t look at what other people have done until after you have sent yours to the moderator.*

• Edit your work before sending it—no corrections will be made after it has been emailed, and email it only once. Put your HATRACK name at the top of the 13 lines, the moderator will remove it before he posts it, replacing it with a number.

• From Thursday onward voting/analysis can begin. Vote for the first, second, and third place entries, as well as best title. Winner is judged to the the entry accumulating the most points given that a first place vote is worth 3 points, a second place vote is worth 2 points, and a third place vote is worth 1 point. Title contest is strictly majority rules. **No voting for yourself**

Then a new moderator volunteers (it’s not much work--unless you consider creating the outline difficult) and then we start again.

Future moderators

1) Bent Tree
2) Doctor

Any volunteers I've missed? Any new volunteers?

Synopsis:

quote:

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The sign on your door reads “Sam Hollinsbeck, Private Investigator”. There’s not much of a living to be made in the ruins of old San Francisco, now that most of the old money is living further inland, but you make out fine enough if you keep the shipping companies and the cops on your side. The office rent is paid on time and there’s always a new bottle of scotch to open once the current one runs out. The jobs aren’t sexy—mostly courier work, some witness acquisition, menial stuff—but just this past week, things took a turn for the better.

On a dreary morning three days ago, you rolled off of your couch in a drunken stupor and saw an envelope near the door of your office, lying on the floor. In it you found a wad of cash and the picture of a woman with a note to find her within 48 hours. The amount of cash itself was enough to grab your attention, but the picture is what held it. You’d seen this dame somewhere before. Her eyes were like coal, her hair shorn short and untidy, and her cheekbones were high, skin stretched tight across them like wax paper over a plum. She was the kind of woman you’d probably call ugly the next morning but dollface over a martini. You tried to shake your head clear as you walked over to your desk to make a few calls, but the idea that you knew here from somewhere just wouldn’t let go.

Just as you reached for the phone, it rang of its own accord. There was a woman on the other end, with a voice that rang a bell in your head. She has a job for you, and from the tone of her voice it's not the kind of job you're apt to refuse. Still, there's something about her voice that's familiar...

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Jayson Merryfield

(Edited to remove my over-writing.)

I am slightly unclear about this.

You have essentially done the 13 lines of the story where it gets interesting--sort of takes the wind from my sails--although establishes a voice.
Is this the 'character' based synopsis that you spoke about?
Are you asking us to find a place to start before this phone call? Or can we start later, essentially making up the next bit? e.g She could be a ninja assassin? or do you mean for us to carry on after your 13 lines?

I am sorry I am not trying to be pain--but no doubt am--butyour inclusion of actual prose has thrown me a bit.

1) Bentree
2) Doctor
3) Unless there is someone before me: skadder.

Go forth and narrate.

quote:

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I haven't been around much over the past week (so if this has already been proposed, just move along, nothing to see here...), but I like the idea of doing the NEXT 13 lines. i.e. start right where Jayson ends and continue the story. More of an extended intro, rather than the absolute beginning, but an interesting exercise. Whaddya think?

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1) Bentree
2) Doctor
3) Unless there is someone before me: skadder.
4) Likewise: Annepin. This is my second time, so those who've never done it before please feel free to bump yourselves ahead of me.

It's not a matter of stepping on toes. it's more that you've left us little choice where to start the story, because you've only given us the obvious opening. Furthermore, you've written it pretty darn well! What can we do? This feels more like a prompt to write an entire book. I love it, I just don't know what to do with it, for the purposes of this challenge.

quote:

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If you are up for the challenge give it a go by establishing a new thread with rules and such, as has been done with this challenge.

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Actually, I meant as part of this week's existing challenge, just doing a continuation from Jayson's excellent opening. I was curious how different authors would write basically the same scene.

I've stopped cramming everything into a block of type, followed the directions on the link, and don't have Firefox, but I still lose a line after posting.

Does the title count as a line? (Maybe that's my problem.)

This is the list at the end of the week #8 synopsis. So with a ltitle magic...it becomes

1) Bentree
2) Doctor
3) Tiergan
4) illiterate
5) Unless there is someone before me: skadder.
6) Likewise: Annepin. This is my second time, so those who've never done it before please feel free to bump yourselves ahead of me.
7) JustInProse (I'll have it ready this time)

quote:

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So, he's got two jobs? From two different girls?

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quote:

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It's not a matter of stepping on toes. it's more that you've left us little choice where to start the story, because you've only given us the obvious opening. Furthermore, you've written it pretty darn well! What can we do? This feels more like a prompt to write an entire book. I love it, I just don't know what to do with it, for the purposes of this challenge.

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Okay, my bad..... I can think of a few different places to start, but I admit it might be kind of limiting. If I can get three votes for it, I'll toss up a new synopsis that might be a little more malleable. I don't think this should be a big problem, as I haven't received any submissions yet and it is still Friday where I am.

Any hands?

I will say, that writing something where you're not comfortable or completely guided could be good practice....

... I'm going to ride the fence on this thing....either way is fine.

:P

quote:

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Does the title count as a line?

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While I think we could ignore your wonderful prose and invent internal and external conflict and motivations for the characters, I suspect many people will be discouraged from trying, and the number of entries will drop off.