posted
I bet Ute's almost there. Maybe Strycher and Estee have been floating in the wrong positions. Check out wireless's guess at 7:25. She's supposed to have 5, and they're already all accounted for w/o Strycher. Also her post at 8:47. But, Ute's at 5:30 would work if Estee is #13. So... How about:
posted
We have to be getting close because Snapper is getting snippy.
The problem is Roxy, I put her in that spot for my earlier guess and afterward she said no one had her linked to the right story. Unless she was lying to us.....
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posted
Actually, I don't know why I didn't remember it, but I picked Shimiqua as #1 in my initial review. The reason - Cinderella. Sheena has form on that story - she has retold it once before. I could still be wrong.
1. Shimiqua (I couldn't find where anyone had picked her here before and this makes sense to me.) 2. LD 3. History 4. PD 5. Wireless 6. Estee 7. Brendan 8. Roxy 9. OSWAM 10. Snapper 11. Axe 12. UtahUte 13. Strycher 14. Rabich
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I'm glad to be able to associate names and stories, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of all of your work. I really enjoyed everything I read, (and I read everything.)
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posted
Congrats to the guys that made it to the finals.
At least I didn't have anyone call my story disturbing this time, I guess I'll have to settle for a creepy.
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posted
Thanks rabirch and ute. This is the 4th time in this particular challenge, and the highest I previously acheived was 5th. Last time I was eliminated in the runoff for the last place in the final. Well, I could still acheive 5th, but at least I can say I made the finals this time.
However, even more to the point, this annual challenge has produced a number of great stories, and I really enjoy reading them.
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posted
Oh, no, Ute, your prize is not the fabulous petting of the cats. Remember what Snapper said?
quote:Originally posted by snapper: This year if you are the first person to identify all 14 authors correctly, award winning author Nick T Chan will acknowledge your existence!
With this privilege Nick will return your smile, say 'Hi' back to you, and treat you as if you were his equal while in the presence of others, niceties most cordial human beings take for granted. A valuable prize if you ever want to impress a date or group of co-workers.
You might not even be required to call Nick 'that' (or even astute and brilliant - though maybe you shouldn't press your luck).
quote:Originally posted by snapper: Once I get this round done and send all the entries to the astute and brilliant judges (Nick requires me to call him that), I will post who all the authors were.
Congrats Ute! And Brendan, Wireless, Strycher and Rabirch. Well, and everybody. I really enjoyed all the stories.
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posted
For my own convenience, because I'm bad with numbers and amazingly lazy, this is the official word, right?
1. Your Ever-Affectionate Goddaughter – Shimiqua 2. She’s In Command Of Love - LD 3. Shall Follow Me All the Days of My Life – History 4. A Ship Called Love - PD 5. Love and Politics* – Wireless 6. Choose Your Own Adventure – Estee 7. Veneration* – Brendan 8. Amora in the Garden* - Roxy 9. The Spell for Love – OSWAM 10. How Do I Love Thee? – Snapper 11. SYNTHETIC LOVE – Axe 12. YESTERDAY WAS ARMAGEDDON – UtahUte 13. Heartless* – Strycher 14. Eviction Notice* – Rabich
Snapper, you wrote "How Do I Love Thee?"! I was kicking myself for having voted for that story when we started the 3rd place run off vote! XD
This was fun, lots of great stories. I haven't read the finalists that came from the other group, so I'll have to do that now, but there are a couple stories that I am really surprised to see didn't make it into finalist. It must have been a pretty close call for a lot of them. Congrats to Wireless, Brendan, Roxy, and Rebecca!
As a side note, Axe is [redacted], right? I remember him mentioning that he was going to participate over on the WotF forum.
Snapper you devious Gollum. After all I shared (in ignorance) with you about my critique about your story entry; and then, when forced, voting for its inclusion among my three choices for finalists.
What was going though your smarmy little mind?
Respectfully, Dr. Bob
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posted
Yes it is Krystal and yes I did. Good time to start a discussion on the crits we received.
While I was writing How Do I Love Thee?, I asked myself, "Can I make necrophilia funny?". The overall answer was a recounding NO!
I must admit, I am taken aback by the reaction. I knew enough to post a warning but that mattered little. So negative were the reponses that I am worried that I have irrepairily harmed my relationship with a colleague I have outmost respect for. Even though the 'victim' was an alien robot - one that was a vessel to mount an invasion for a parastic, brain infecting sentient species that had decimated a dozen space-farring races before - readers were creeped out.
The general advice I received was "change that ending", but my question is "How"? Here is where I am at. There are only two momboworms left, The metal detector at the entrance to the hospital has killed the rest and damaged the robot. Avenues of escape are limited (poisonous atmosphere and water, dangerous light), survival of the parasites is at risk. How do I get my parasites into a person?
So far, I made my parasites likeable and funny (by the feedback I received). I need an unlikeable human for them to infect or the readers will turn on them. Juliet is dead. How can I make my characters live and keep it funny?
Hoping for a solution. I have a speculative humor antho (pro-paying) I can send this too. All suggestions will help.
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posted
Snapper, would mouth to mouth resuscitation work? And then they would think he's kissing Juliet? It's definitely fluid exchange...
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5. Love and Politics* – Wireless - 11 7. Veneration* – Brendan - 11 13. Heartless* – Strycher - 10 3. Shall Follow Me All the Days of My Life – History - 5
Group 2
14. Eviction Notice* – Rabich - 18 8. Amora in the Garden* - Roxy - 13 10. How Do I Love Thee? – Snapper - 5 6. Choose Your Own Adventure – Estee - 4
11 out of 14 received a vote. A lot of second place votes were spread around. Good work everyone. I agree with the comments before me, a lot of high quality stuff this time around.
posted
Roxy - that avenue of escape was discounted earlier. Besides, you really want the nice paramedic to be infected?
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You discovered my secret, Doc. I am a clay monster. Kathleen put a note in my mouth to make hatrack more lively years ago. I've been hiding from her so she can't put the follow up "Stop!" in.
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posted
You're right, sorry about the poor memory. And to be honest, I guess I'm heartless, but to me it doesn't matter who the parisite infects, nice or not - I mean the whole human race is about to be destroyed.
Could you back the story up so it doesn't end in the hospital, but some other place/way with a similar result in a fried Juliet? Airport? Bank? A zombie guy on bath salts from FL eating her brain?
Will have to think on it more.
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quote:Originally posted by snapper: I have a speculative humor antho (pro-paying) I can send this too. All suggestions will help.
(As you may know) I was the person who said I thought it was funny but you'd have a hard time placing it, so I think I'm in the minority when I say that I think the ending worked. It's the logical conclusion to that story. It's gross, but it makes sense.
The only person you could infect with the parasites who won't inspire similar feeling of revulsion (ie someone who deserves to be eaten alive by space parasites), is going to be a bad person. Since sex is the method of travel, the logical victim is a rapist. Someone who rapes a corpse is less offensive to me than any other type of rapist, including nonviolent date-rapists.
The necrophilia is still morally reprehensible, but at least a dead body can't be traumatized.
I think if you ditch the necrophilia you'd have to rewrite parts of the story and introduce a nonsexual method of transfer. Or do a major rewrite to introduce a male character who is morally bankrupt enough to receive the parasites without upsetting the audience. (And he'd have to be a pretty bad dude, since the parasites offer a truly terrible fate.)
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posted
Dr. Bob, I've been thinking about the talking horse. It occurred to me that if its power of speech is important, I don't think I would have had a problem with it if it had been introduced right off the bat. As you're establishing the world, I have an easier time accepting oddities.
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quote:Originally posted by RoxyL: And to be honest, I guess I'm heartless, but to me it doesn't matter who the parisite infects, nice or not - I mean the whole human race is about to be destroyed.
That's largely dependent on the necrophiliac's ability to get laid by a real person before the momboworms have killed him.
Posts: 35 | Registered: May 2012
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posted
Well, this thread has definitely taken a turn into the weird.
It was interesting that both Axe and I chose stories about androids and love (sorta). For quarter two we both sent in stories about assassins to WOTF.
Mine was culled from a longer story and I told Snapper I wasn't very happy with the result when I sent it in. He was pointing this out when it won the hook portion, but I, rightly, told him that wouldn't last.
I do thank everyone for the comments, they will be useful when I rework the longer version.
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posted
Congratulations to Brendan, Roxy, Strycher, and rabirch! I loved ALL your stories - voted for them, in fact - the ones I could, anyway.
Every single entry in this challenge contained something wonderful, though, and I was amazed at the creativity displayed.
My crystal ball keeps showing the letter R when I ask it who will be the final winner. Wonder what that means?
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As I shared, your story and its ending was disturbing. But this is what makes it memorable, as with the clever play on the words "poetic justice."
So, "no." Don't change it. Don't make it conform to the norm. That would be a disgrace.
Instead, you may wish to emphasize earlier what sh*ts human beings (especially males on the prowl) can be. That may lessen the shock and increase the sense of "justice" despite how disturbing the ending is to those with "sensible" social mores.
Respectfully, Dr. Bob
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posted
I agree with Dr. Bob and Strycher, Snapper. Despite my concerns about the necrophilia, I think this story ends in the way that is appropriate to the story. It has so much humor, so much voice, and is so memorable that I think if it hits an editor right, it will do very well.
The thing I've found with my own work is that the stories that people all have generally warm-fuzzy feelings about don't do as well as the ones that people either strongly love or strongly hate. You are eliciting a powerful reaction. That's better than apathetic enjoyment.
Posts: 248 | Registered: May 2012
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posted
First I'd like to thank everyone who read and critiqued my story. There's more than seven in the list which means a few people went above and beyond, which is appreciated.
I'd especially like to thank the folks who wrote:
It’s well written There’s some really good writing in here Writing is very solid. The prose was clear I liked the writing in this one Over all it’s a nice story the writing is solid
And lastly, this:
It’s a much more literary, thinky kind of piece.
What's ironic is not fifteen minutes earlier, after reading a bunch of my reviews, I asked my wife why she particularly liked this one. Turns out she identified with it professionally. Given that she's a literary author, this makes sense. "You've written a literary short story," she said. "I did?" I asked.
Reading the above a short while later gave me a good chuckle. So even tho I didn't come close to placing this time, I feel like I accomplished something. I certainly learned some things as well.
Extra special thanks to Snapps, whose been running these little contests for around five years now. I think a sane man would have long ago called it quits, but he just keeps going, and going, and going.
Thank you for your critique above. I did not wish to introduce the magical elements early (e.g. a mage and his familiar), but instead layer them on one element at a time.
The tale begins as a simple historical story, for those who have recognized [What, am I the only one? ] the names of King Casmir and Cardinal Zbeignew of 15th century Poland when Polish Jews, with their yellow identity badges (the precursor to the Nazi yellow stars), were caught between them.
The conflict for the characters in the tale is, at its root, an ethical one: how are wecommanded to treat strangers and care for the naked, the orphan, and the helpless? The answer: with love, of course.
The preceding is enmeshed in what is an action adventure story that increases in intensity, first through physical action, next magic, and finally spirituality. In steps, the unnamed protagonist transitions from a potential victim, to a fighter, to a prisoner, to a man of magic, to a man of G-d.
The shedu storm demon is as depicted from Assyrian mythology (photos here: http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/Category:Shedu The magician's familiar, the talking horse, is just a final twist in raising awareness: from the historical tale of the beginning to the world of magic and spirit around us, invisible to those too mundane to appreciate it.
The storm and its passing reflect the conflict and its resolution.
I acknowledge I am guilty of being a bit (perhaps 'too') "literary" in my writing.
All this in less than 1500 words. An exercise I'm not too unhappy with, despite its failing to make the cut.
Respectfully, Dr. Bob
[ June 05, 2012, 05:00 PM: Message edited by: History ]
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I read an interesting comment by Dave Wolverton recently about creating fantasy worlds. Essentually he said its all or one. A world where the reader clearly identifies as fantasy can have all sorts of speculative additions. A world that is predominantly similar to ours can have one fantasy element. His example was of a story with a genie, which later included talking daffodils. The talking daffodils is too much difference for a lot of people.
Your world was similar. It is rooted in real history, so many would have picked up on the historical nature, even if not the specific history. (The mention of Jews did this for me.) Therefore the talking horse would have thrown a number of people, particularly as it was so late in the piece where people don't expect new information about the world.
Ironically, I smiled at its introduction when I first read it, because it made sense of why the horse was called into the protection of the ward.
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You discovered my secret, Doc. I am a clay monster. Kathleen put a note in my mouth to make hatrack more lively years ago. I've been hiding from her so she can't put the follow up "Stop!" in.
I did? Oh! Yes, of course I did. That note was some of the best writing I've ever done, come to think of it.
But now I'm wondering why I didn't just write something on your forehead--much easier to change than trying to get "Stop!" into your mouth.
Though why I'd want you to stop is another puzzling question.
posted
Got the results. Who wants to know what they are?
Thanks much to Aspirit, Nick Tchan, and Ethereon for serving as finalist judges. All have promised comments later. All the stories have received votes. Here they are...
Using a scale of 3 for first, 2 for second, and 1 for third...
Entry # 8 Amora in the Garden by RoxyL - 6 pnts. A 1st, 2nd, and 3rd (the only one to be picked by each judge)
Entry # 7 Veneration by Brendan - 4 pnts - a 1st and 3rd
Entry # 13 Heartless by strycher - 4 pnts - a 1st and 3rd
Entry # 5 Love and Politics Wirelesslibarian - 2nd place vote
Entry # 14 Eviction Notice rabrich - 2nd place vote
Congrats to RoxyL! 2nd place in a very close vote last year and an outright win this time around.
Good work everyone. Roxy, let me know if you'd like me to contact Nick for you.
posted
Hmm, didn't get a chance to read two of those which included "Amora" so I can't say what I thought of it even though the opening was good. But congrats Roxy, Good going.
I will add though I don't understand why Dr. Bob's didn't do better even though I think someone may have tried to explain that a few posts ago. But in either case I think Dr. Bob has a chance to send this story to every where that takes fantasy. That could take a few months if you have to go through them all.
Actually, I think everyone should be sending in their stories from here. A few may need a little tweaking or in one case a lot but still go for it.
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posted
I second what LDW said. We could market a collection of sold stories whose origins were in a hatrack contest. Ethereon, for example, sold the last two she wrote for a challenge to pro-level venues.
Posts: 3072 | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
So wait, who do I have to acknowledge now? I don't remember promising to treat anyone as an equal per se. I thought I was simply noticing that they existed. Can we reach a compromise and I'll simply grunt and hold eye contact for a micro-second? That is still a prize beyond measure.
Rob Sawyer gave a great speech at the WOTF workshop and I think it's particularly relevant to you Snapper...he basically said that to be mediocre is death in the fiction business. It's better to get strong reactions that to have people say "I liked it." I like reading the paper in the morning, but I sure don't remember it. It sounds like I'd remember reading your story.
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