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Did you choose to be a Guardian? Why are you worried you won't perform well? Did your family move to Tuscon with you or are you alone?
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I did and I didn't choose to be a Guardian. I was born a Guardian. We are immortal and have certain gifts, but I didn't have to join the organization. I did though, because I believe in their cause.
I'm worried about my mission because I feel like it's too big for me. Have you ever felt like what was expected was too imporant for your own clumsy hands. There is a child that was born. This child is supposed to shape the world and my very first mission is to raise the child so that the world will better because of her influence. I never expected to be a mother. I know nothing of children.
I am without my family. My mother and father still live in Montana, my sister is in Washinton, and my brother in New York. It's my first day in Tucson, the first of many days.
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Hello Sheena, guardians have been around as long as mortals, we are decended from angels and mortals. We are immortal, but can be killed. My main gift is to influence how other people feel. I can also sense others and a little of who they are. We believe God put us on the Earth to assist mortals in shaping the Earth, to help them create harmony and peace. Some guardians believe that means ruling for the mortals, they call themselves Immortals, but Guardians believe we assist and then let the mortals rule. Guardians should be in the background and serve that is my cause.
I did not bare the child, Guardians cannot have children. Her mother died in childbirth as it was foretold. Her mother named her Sylvia Brito and that is what I will call her. Thank you for you kind questions.
Hello teacher, I don't have a mentor, though at one time I had many. Our leader, Agnes has assigned Kalev to be the child's father and he has had other missions. He is a hundred years older than I, though you wouldn't know it to see him.
I am not sure what skills made Agnes decide I should be the mother, perhaps it is my emotional sensitivity, but it is a mystery to me. Agnes is not prone to explaining everything. Her response is that I will learn in time.
Your third question is one that I have been pondering. I was raised as most children, but I was never quite the same as other children. I fear raising her as myself, my siblings did not fare as well as I did. How can I raise this child to be the gentle loving leader she should be? How much of the cruel world do I expose her too, yet if I don't expose her enough she won't know how to lead it, and if I expose her too much she may become jaded. It is a difficult balance. I shall have to think more on this. Thank you for your time.
I hope you don't mind a few follow-up questions. Your responses lead me to other issues.
1) do you trust Agnes' apparent faith in you? Or do you feel there is something else there that you should be wary of?
2) it appears that there are several ways of creating families in your world - those with biological parents, like your own family and those, like Sylvia, with assigned parents who are not necessarily couples before becoming parents. How does 'assigned' parenthood work? What if you meet someone you are attracted to and wish to 'marry' if that is done in your world? What becomes of the partnership formed by you and Sylvia's assigned father? How does Sylvia learn about leading with love if the creation of her 'family' is one of assignment rather than actual birth or adoption?
I hope you will forgive the forthrightness, I am curious about your world and want to know more, but mean no disrespect.
My world is much like your own, only the ways of the Guardians are different. Agnes prepared everything so that the world would think Sylvia was adopted and that Kalev and I were already married. She already has wedding pictures with the two of us together. Sylvia will know nothing of guardians or our mission. Her role in the world must come naturally.
Your questions are ones that are mirrored in my heart. I hope to love Sylvia as I would a daughter, but holding this baby in my arms I feel no sense of overwhelming love that new mothers speak of. At the same time I am hesitant to gain that attachment that mothers tell of because this child is not really mine but belongs to the world. She can't be my highest priority but the people of the earth must be. I hope I don't have to choose between what is best for Sylvia and what is best for everyone.
Guardians seldom marry since they cannot have children of their own. They do create partnerships, but they aren't assigned. I probably wouldn't create a partnership with Kalev on my own. I imagine we will be friends working together for a common goal, but nothing more than that. If I did meet someone that I wanted a partnership with I hope that I could be patient until this mission is over. Guardians don't age much. Agnes is over 2000 years old, yet only looks in her mid fifties. Twentyfive years is a short time to wait.
Agnes has my complete faith. I have never met anyone so compassionate and selfless. Yet now you make me ask myself why I doubt. I suppose it is one thing to know in your head that she is wise and chooses well and another to feel it. If Agnes choose any other person I would be behind it completely, but she choose me. If I fail then does that mean Agnes was wrong or that I didn't live up to my potential. I hope I do not fail.
Thank you for your careful questions, they have caused me much searching within myself.
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You mention failure in your reply. Twice as a matter of fact. Has failure been defined for you? By Agnes? By yourself? If 'parents' fail, how is that failure identified? If Sylvia does not benefit humans to a pre-determined amount, is that failure? If she touches only one or two lives, is that failure? Perhaps the lives of those she touches go on to touch the lives of countless others, is that failure?
How and when would you be able to determine that your mission had failed, if indeed it had?
"She can't be my highest priority but the people of the earth must be. I hope I don't have to choose between what is best for Sylvia and what is best for everyone."
But you also said that this baby will shape the world.
If she's going to shape the world, isn't her fate the same thing as what is best for everyone? If that's so, shouldn't she be your highest priority? And if she, specifically, is your mission, shouldn't you focus on her and let the other Gaurdians worry about the other people and love the baby as much as you can?
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Failure, I shudder at the thought, though I'm not sure where the fear comes from. I have had no tramatic instances in my life where I have failed, nor is failure severely punished. Though, I must admit, I am a bit of a perfectionist, with myself. I'm not the type of perfectionist that lines things in a row alphabetically, but I demand myself to act perfect. I was only repremanded once in elementary school and I can still recall the time of day, the tone of voice, and what I was doing.
Perhaps I worry too much, your words, teacher, have reminded me that there is no definite line between failing and succeeding in parenting. Still, the prophecy says she will shape the world. I will only know if I have succeeded when I see how the world is shaped by her.
Mythique, thank you for your time. Too clarify, I only worry (perhaps needlessly) that there will come a time when the world needs her and she is not ready, say, if she had to lead at age thirteen. I would be torn knowing that she should be in school and doing thirteen year old things, not worrying about the state of the world. Many times the best leaders sacrifice much of themselves, so do I let her knowing it is best for the world, or do I protect her? You are wise though in reminding me that my main obligation will be to care for her and provide the loving attention any child will need.
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