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Author Topic: Paul
wetwilly
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Member # 1818

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I don't do introductions. When you go to a new job, and everybody has to say your name and something interesting about yourself, I always refuse. Everybody going around the circle, pretending to care one way or the other about each other's personal lives, that's not me. What I usually say is, "My name is Paul, and I really don't care about you. I won't be offended when you don't care about me."

Anyway, what is there to know about me? I hate my day job. What I'm doing with my life right now, though, happens at night, after work. Long story short, I just created a Universe of binary code, and now I'm shaping my new Universe so I can open it up to the public. This is going to be something the world has never seen before. A real world changer.

Also, I've just picked up a drug addiction and a stalking habit.

If you want to know more about me after that, fire away.

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JoBird
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Hey, Paul. You sound like a real people person, a regular Dale Carnegie.

Why do you want to change the world?

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wetwilly
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Oh, sarcasm. I get it. That's funny.

It's not so much that I want to change the world. That's just a natural byproduct of what I'm involved in. It's more like I'm making a new world to go to. I think this one is probably already screwed beyond recognition. The new one I'm making, though, that is an infinite field of unlimited potential. It can be whatever I want, and you can bet I'll do a better job with my world than somebody did with this one.

I can't fix the world, but I can choose not to be a part of it.

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Robert Nowall
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Who are you stalking?
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wetwilly
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I'm stalking this one chick who walked past me in the street one day. I was buying nachos. She walked by me, and something grabbed my attention. No idea what. I followed her out of curiosity. I think I might just have been bored, actually. Now I hang out in her living room when she's not home. It's a very relaxing place.

Her name is Chloe Marsh. I got that off of her mailbox. She's about average height for a chick, a little chubby, but not what you call fat. I guess she's what they call curvy, if you're into euphemisms. She has dark skin, but not real dark, like maybe she's mixed race or something. She's got dreadlocks and a bunch of metal in her face. Maybe it's just that she's so different from my fiancee. You wouldn't call her pretty, but there's just something about her that's...I don't know...different? Interesting? I really don't know who she is. Or why I'm stalking her.

I don't understand most of what I do lately.

[ August 15, 2012, 06:10 PM: Message edited by: wetwilly ]

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Lance Conrad
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Have you always been so antisocial, or is this a new development?
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Leothemuse
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Is this your first stalking victim and if not who was the first you stalked? Can you describe the emotion you derive from stalking? What drove you you to stalk this first person?
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wetwilly
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Lance, have you always been this judgemental, or is this a new development? I am what I am. Okay, warm and friendly is not really my thing, but I don't think I'm antisocial. I love the people I love, and I don't really see any point in pretending to care about the people I don't care about. If getting a real answer to your question will make you feel better, then I've pretty much always been like this.

Leo, this is my first time. I have no idea what drives me to stalk her. I don't know her at all. I know what she looks like and where she lives, that's all. There is a lot about me I don't understand, and this is probably first and foremost on that list right now.

At first it felt exciting, like I was just spicing up a boring day, or a boring life, by doing something I wasn't supposed to, following this chick home. Now, it's more of a relaxing thing. I go into her apartment when she's not there, and just hang out. Her living room is like some kind of sacred shrine to me. The rest of my life is so screwed up, that I need some place I can just forget all the other crap and relax. Chloe's apartment is that for me.

Everybody else judges me, thinks I'm a screw-up. It's nice to be somewhere where the owner doesn't even know I exist.

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Shaygirl
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Now you have my curiosity...So how do you know people you don't care about aren't people you're going to love later?

Oh, and who's your fiancee? I mean (and this is not to be sarcastic or snide, though I am frequently those things), what was it about her that makes her one of the people you love.

Assuming that she is on that list.

Finally would you ever...I mean, do you like Chloe? If you met face to face would you say "hi, your living room is the only thing that holds me together, how is your day going?".

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wetwilly
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Oh jeez, don't try to psychoanalyze me. There are people I care about, and people I don't. It's the same with everybody. Anybody who says differently is just lying--either to you or to themselves--to try to fit into some ideal version of sainthood that doesn't exist. You don't care about everybody. I mean, in a generalized kind of way, maybe you care about "people," but you don't care about every person, if you know what I mean. That's all I'm saying. I just don't pretend to care. That's the only difference between me and the rest of the world.

Well, not the only difference.

My fiancee, Kate, is...look, I'm not a walking Julia Roberts movie; I don't usually go around spitting out romantic lines.I just love her, okay? Sure there are things I love about her, and I can list some of them for you. First off, on the most basic level, she's pretty and cool, which is a rare combination; you usually only get one or the other. She always does what she thinks is right, no matter the consequences. She is who she is, and she doesn't apologize for it or try to change who she is, but she's not confrontational about it, either. She's one of the only people I've ever known who I can just sit with and have a comfortable conversation without trying to have a conversation, you know? We have a similar sense of humour. Those are a few of the things I love about her, but I can't say they are the reasons I love her. It's not like there's a list of all the things I love about her, and if it all adds up to enough love points, she wins and I fall in love with her. I'm just in love with her. As much as we would like to be hopeless romantics about it--soul mates and spiritual connections and all that--I think that's all just stuff we came up with to try to make something simple more dramatic and important-sounding.

When you get down to it, we just like to be with each other.

Now, Chloe...I kind of feel guilty talking about her after I just told you about Kate. I guess the short answer is, I have no desire to meet her face to face or say anything to her. I can't say I like her, because I really don't know anything about her. I mean, I watched her walk down the street, and I've spent some time in her living room, but that's the extent of my relationship to her. Like her? Maybe I'm intrigued by her. I think she's just something exotic to me.

Not exotic like a dancer, but exotic like a plant.

This conversation is really tough for me, because you're asking me to explain things about myself that I don't understand. I don't know why I do most of the things I do. It's actually getting kind of scary, the total lack of self-awareness. I wish I knew what drives me to do the things I do. Maybe then, I could stop.

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Noah Fregger
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I must admit that you are an intriquing character, someone we might identify with, although we wouldn't really want to reveal that to anyone. Sorta like that "creep" song by radiohead. It's a little twisted, but you can't help but feel it resonating with at least a part of you.

I like you as a character. I envision you as having a semi-good heart, but vastly misunderstood, perceived as aloof most of the time.

It also brings to mind the "Dexter" saga - a potential villain you can't help but care deeply for.

I am intrigued, indeed.

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