posted
The neighbors have put a nude lawn gnome upon their front lawn.
Really.
He's clasping both hands in front of his crotch, clad in only a cap and boots (!)
...his facial expression clearly saying "Jumping Jehosaphat! I'm in the altogether!"
I didn't mind the bench supported by smiling, sleepy-eyed frogs, but this is opening up a whole new weird area of lawn ornamentation.
Posts: 6689 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Well, this gnome looks more "classic garden gnome" style...except for being nude and quite flabbergasted about it.
Posts: 6689 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Beauty. I'd send the freedom letter, and if that doesn't work, stage a gnome protest march in your own yard. Take pictures.
Posts: 3950 | Registered: Mar 2006
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posted
No one better touch my gnomes. I assure you they are happy and well cared for. No liberating necessary.
Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003
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[sing]Gnomes, gnomes on the range. In the snow and the heat and the rain. A perch for the birds, not saying a word. And now their clothes have been taken away! [/sing]
Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Nudity, a gnome has bared himself for all to see. And though his hands are clasped appropriately, We've still seen gnome nudity.
Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be, Because that gnome has a ginormous wee, and put it out for all to see.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
[sing--to Lion Sleeps Tonight] Mighty Gnome man, clotheless gnome man The Gnome freezes tonight. Oooh Mighty gnome man, clotheless gnome man The Gnome freezes at night. (We are skipping the We-mo-wac portion in order that this does not become a gnome-self loving thread. We all know how Papa-Janitor hates those.) [/sing]
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
See, what you didn't know is that gnome is really an acronym for Gnome Nudity Offends Most Everyone.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn You've no clothes on, and I can see your backside Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn By your jingle jangle I can tell you're freee-zing
Apologies to Bob Dylan...
Posts: 892 | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
[sing]I've been to my neighbors with the gnome with no pants It felt weird, like a sick game For at my neighbors you can practice your rants For their ain't no gnome who don't feel no shame. fa la, la, ladi la la..... [/sing]
He's a streaker.
If you define a streaker as a (g)nomadic nudist.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:Originally posted by anti_maven: Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn You've no clothes on, and I can see your backside Hey Mr. Trouserless Gnome, crouching on the lawn By your jingle jangle I can tell you're freee-zing
Apologies to Bob Dylan...
No jingle jangles! This is a family forum.
Posts: 12266 | Registered: Jul 2005
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posted
Si-elent Sprite Na-a-aked at night. All is seen All in sight Round plump tucus Left cheek and right. Every bit of him seen in moon light Peek you perverts in passing Peek at him passing perverts.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Ama-zing gnome, clad just in hat That scarred a one like me; It takes a lot (well, he's got that) To make me sad to see.
This gnome, though co-vered by his hands Is more than I'd conceived; I thought I was jaded and coarse, Now, I know, less than I believed.
So if this gnome, all clad in naught Can make a prude of me Perhaps he should be covered up Or take inside his wee.
(I think you should print these songs out and paper their door with them. Or leave them in the mailbox.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
We shall not fail, nor flag! We shall gnome on to the end!
I think 'gnome' is just an inherently funny word, that makes everything funny by its mere insertion. "Luke, I am your gnome!"
Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
"Gnonanism references, Dan? *shakes head sadly*"
Waddja expect?
Gnome man is an island Abandoned by his elf. He seeks the peace of continence, hand upon his main Lest his feet be washed away by the wee. Your rope is the less As well, as his promontory were so much grander than thine own, or even thine wishes were. Each gnome's clapper diminishes thee, And lessens thy bells in kind. Therefore, seek not to know For whom the gnome pours, Lest he pours on thee...
posted
When I was a young lad I used to like girls, I played with their bodies and fondled their curls. Till my girl ran off and wanted to roam Oh youll never get treated that way by a gnome
(chorus) Then its gnome, gnome, i want a gnome Ive never had anything quite like a gnome Ive had many women, most of them in my home But ive never had anything quite like a gnome
When im in the mood for some good fun I go to the closet and get me some rum I go into the garden and sit in the grass Cause the gnomes always come when im drunk off my ***
(chorus)
Ive done it with elves, goblins, and a troll Id do it with a warlock, but hed steal my soul Ive done it while laying out on all the loam But its never the same when your out with a gnome
(chorus)
Now ive died, gone to heaven, to death i succumb I show up at those gates witha bottle of rum Now they're bound to inquire as to my grin And ill wind up in hell humping gnomes again.
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