posted
Ok, I talked about this a bit before, where I sent in a poem to poetry.com
Well, I got one of those letters (you know the kind, the ones that just about everyone and their grandma get just for submitting something) stating that they are going to publish the poem in one of their books, and also put it on one of their CD's with 32 other poems (priced only at just $49.00 .)
The thing is, I don't care jack squat about what they are saying about this poem, mainly because I have the feeling that this is nothing really special and that, again, just about everyone on that site has gotten one of these.
But in another sense, I really do like it, but I think thats because I wrote it and it makes me laugh everytime I read it. So, while there is the Original Potry thread, I've noticed a slim variety of people that critique poems (no offense to those that do) and would like at least an honest to goodness opinion if this poem is the "outstanding achievement in poetry" that these people are making it out to be. That and I'm feeling incredibly shamelessly egotistical today.
The Poem (again):
Someday my friend, I shall die And if that someday should come I'd like it if you would be so kind To say that I was the kind of guy Who dreamed of canning pickles.
posted
I liked the twist at the end, and the close but not quite perfect rhyme. The language in each individual line didn't really flow or glide or jump or thrill, but I like it all in all. Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, I liked it. It fits with my notion of how poetry should sound. But then again, I write things like:
Once I wrote a couple love poems For a boy who never knew me; Well, he held my hand on Fridays, But we never traded hearts.
So I took those not-so-loved-poems And I put them in my basement And I store them with my ski boots And I use them now for parts.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
I thought that the last word there was "pants", Annie, which put a different spin on your poem.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
See, and I completely agree with you there, which is another reason I completely laughed at the letter. To quote the guy, my "verse is wonderfully expressive."
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hm. I'm not really sure what to make of it.
(I think that's kind of a compliment )
I'm taking a creative writing class this term and have been hard at work on some poetry. We'll see how it goes...
Posts: 10886 | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I loved the first stanza of your poem, Annie! It was cheeky and interesting. I love how you use words.
Nathan, your poem is fun, but the rhythm is a little weird, and it doesn't really say a whole lot. Not that poetry has to say a lot, of course. There are plenty of lovely or funny poems that are simply lovely or funny. Anywho . . .
Would anyone else around here like a thread that encourages rougher critiques than the Orginal Potry thread offers? I've got some poetry, but I haven't posted it there because I know I'll just get "good poem" comments, if that.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
This thread isn't about my poem, though, it's about Nate's. Because, clever as aI am, I have yet to use the word "pickles" in a poem. now, that's how I would know I had arrived.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Yes, because it takes great wit and poetic minds to use pickle in a work of poetry.
Pickle Pickle in the jar Follow me out to a car In the tailpipe you will go To make my friend's car go slow Pickle Pickle in the jar Follow me out to a car
Posts: 9754 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
How about if I let you hang out with me in Portland? Or maybe I could kiss you discreetly behind a fan.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
The boy was selling kosher pickles, Trading passersby for nickles. I thought he was rather cute In his brine-encrusted suit.
I asked him for the deepest one, And kissed him when his work was done. His face blushed red from chin to tips, How salty were his kosher lips!
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh - and I've found that I can find a lot better pictures now that I can spell lederhosen correctly.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
T_Smith, have they offered you the $10 trophy and vacation to Disney World for the professional reading. Its only $1,250 a person, not counting hotel and travel.
Personally, I wasn't thrilled with your pickle canning poem. It seemed to flippant to be good poetry, but came off well as dry wit.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
.)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
)![[ROFL]](graemlins/rofl.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
