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Usually, I take absolutely no notice of newbies. I don't welcome them - I suppose because somewhere deep inside I'm just a hateful person.
But you don't "feel" like a newbie. Are you a regular under a new name, or just a long-time lurker? The tone I've seen you take with a few posters is one of comfort and familiarity, not the usual, "Crap, I don't wanna step on toes till I get to know people" bit.
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Perhaps AntiCool is really me, just biding my time until I can have his conservative voice come to my support on some controversial issue. Posts: 10645 | Registered: Jul 2004
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It's not secret who I am, but I have enjoyed interacting today without dealing with people's preconceived notions about me. I think I'll enjoy it for a little while longer.
Posts: 1002 | Registered: Feb 2005
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Um, if I'm wrong about who AntiCool is, I'm not as smart as I think I am. But I'll respect your desire to not be unmasked at this time.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I see imogen and the muppet have fallen for the notorious "wub" ploy. What a wubly web we weave when we practice to decieve!
Posts: 111 | Registered: Jun 2003
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OK, for those of you that bother to come into this thread, could I get an honest critique from you?
Yesterday I was fairly active in the "Men are Scum" thread. I responded directly to many things that Lalo said and asked him some direct answers.
Even so, I failed to get any response from Lalo. I know that I have felt ignored before, especially by certain highly visible memebers of our board, and I guess I chalked it up to people having already decided that I am an idiot and that my ideas are not worth responding to.
But that can't be the case here. Most people don't know who I am, and therefore that can't have placed me on their mental ignore list.
As I think about it, I see a few possibilities:
My posting style is generally un-engaging I guess this is possible. I see that compared to ElJay, whose reponses have been addressed on that thread, my responses tend to much shorter, and I tend to not post as many of them.
While my posting style is fine, my ideas were really lame and were not worthy of a response
My posting style is so distinct that my ideas still got ignored because of who I am and what I have posted in the past Again, possible. I have been told many times that I have a pretty distinct way of talking. But I really doubt that my posting style is all that distinct. But again, it's possible.
I didn't get any response because I am not somebody that has "earned" enough respect to be responded to. To some people, newbies are just part of the "noise" to be ignored.
It was just a fluke that Lalo never responded to me.
Now, I don't want this to be an attack on Lalo. I am not offended, and my feelings are not hurt because he didn't pat my shoulder and make me feel better. As I said, this sort of thing has happened to me before, and I want to take the opportunity to get some honest feedback as to how I come across in this bizarre medium.
Posts: 1002 | Registered: Feb 2005
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I know I'm not replying to you much precisely because I'm suspicious of your need to take another name. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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I wouldn't take it personally. I actually said things almost identical to what ElJay said earlier up in the conversation and *no one* commented until ElJay posted. Perhaps brevity is overlooked sometimes.
quote:I know I'm not replying to you much precisely because I'm suspicious of your need to take another name. [Smile]
Yes. I forgot to list that as one of the options.
I can totally understand that, Tom. I would probably react the same way.
For what it's worth, I didn't intend to come in here disguised. I intended to just change my name, and answer the first person who asked who I was.
But by the time anybody asked me, I was already curious as to whether 1) people were really responding to me differently, because of my different name 2) I was posting differently because of my short-lived anonimity or 3) I was viewing other's responses through a different filter than normal.
I was curious about those things, which is why I declined to answer yet.
Posts: 1002 | Registered: Feb 2005
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Dude. I totally understand. No offence taken at all.
In fact, now I'm feeling like a cretin. I'm torn between just coming clean as to who I am and just slinking away, leaving this name to the garbage heap.
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Frankly, I was going to ask Lalo why he kept responding solely to me when there were so many other people saying the same things. Although I will admit (and have admited on that thread) that I was posting in a deliberately flamboyant style in an attempt to engage Lalo on his own terms.
And AntiCool, I believe I addressed something directly to you on another thread that you never responded to. I've changed my mind about thinking I know who you are, now I have no idea. But I see nothing wrong with your posting style and have no idea why people wouldn't respond to you.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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When I was relatively new, I used to keep informal track of all the threads I had killed. I felt somewhat insecure about it, too.
It also seemed to me that my threads always died after a couple dozen posts or so. I even went through a phase (that lasted about one thread) of trying to be a little more inflamatory in my thread-starting posts, before I decided that was just not me. I just decided to accept the fact that my threads don't attract a lot of attention . . .
. . . except it ain't really true. What happens is that, like most people, I suspect, I only paid attention to the threads that support this hangup. The threads I started that went multiple pages I discounted as exceptions to the rule. But then I started to think about those threads. I started the Weight-Loss Encouragement thread a good two years ago, and it's still active at 9 pages or so. The Dingle thread . . . well, what needs to be said? A Hug thread that has five pages or so, last time I checked. And I realized that I was just being silly.
Now I'm generally less inclined to care.
Most people are insecure. Most people think they get less attention paid to them than others do. Most people can find evidence for this assertion. The exceptions to this tend to disparage the attention they get, and characterize themselves as attention whores. (And of course, there are trolls, who get far more attention than they should.)
So don't sweat it. There are undoubtedly people who get paid more attention than you (or I) do. Who cares? Is it important to "win" in this? I refuse to believe that nobody listens to you at all. So you are conversing with people here . . . and isn't that the point?
Okay, I'll shut the heck up now. :-p
P.S. - Even in the last month, there have been threads where I have said something, and then Dag or Tom or Moose says basically the exact same thing, and ten people chime in with "I agree with Tom" or even "I agree with Tom and CT" or whatever. *shrug* It happens.
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I stopped posting on that thread because it was more fun to sit back and watch Lalo attempt to patronize ElJay. Posts: 40 | Registered: Aug 2002
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