I just was reading the morning news on internet and found this: Van crash kills 7 Utah students and realized that one of those students is the son of a very very close friend of mine.
I'm just shaking with grief for him. I need to call my friend in Utah, but have no idea what I should say, or even for sure how to get ahold of him.
This is just absolutely horrible. His son meant everything to him.....
posted
Man, that poor guy. Do you have a phone number for him? If so, I'd recommend calling him, letting him know that you saw the news, and telling him how sorry you are.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I have his number. I'm not sure if he is out at the farm, or in Logan at his in-town house. I'm assuming Logan. And I'm assuming other family will be there.
I'm waiting. I have to keep reminding myself they are an hour earlier than us here. Utah State webcam shows that it is still dark out there.
Gives me time to compose myself and try to think of what I'm going to say...
Farmgirl
(and I hope other Utahans from here will help me find out service information, so I can send flowers, etc.)
Posts: 9538 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Farmgirl, my thoughts are with you. I wish I could be with you, but I probably wouldn't know what to say to help you get through this. At least I could give you a hug or something.
Posts: 537 | Registered: Jul 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
What a terrible crash. That makes me feel terrible. I'm sorry for your friend Farmgirl, I'll be keeping all of those families in my prayers, including your mom. (((Farmgirl)))
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
| IP: Logged |
It is just hard on me because I don't think I'm very good at comforting people. I really want to , and all, but I never know how to best comfort. It isn't my gift.
And here two people very close to me both need comfort and need me to be "strong" for them, and I just know there really isn't anything I can do to make things better....
posted
That is so shocking for you to have both of those happen in one day.
Farmgirl, I think it is a common thing for the one *not* directly hurt in a tragedy to feel incompetent at comforting. I think you are able to do far more for them than you realize. I'm sure your friend appreciated your call--that you were watching, aware, and took the time out to make the call. You can't take their pain away, but taking the time to let them cry on your shoulder means a lot, I'm sure.
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
I know what you mean about being comforting; I don't feel like I do a good job comforting people, either. I think bev has the right of it, though; just making sure the person that you're comforting doesn't feel alone is a big thing.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
I spent time last night trying to find the wife of one of the accident victems to tell her her husband was in the hospital. I am just glad that he is still alive. They have only been married 38 days.
Posts: 188 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Oh man, my class of 15 takes fieldtrips like that in those vans all the time. Hugs and good thoughts for everyone Posts: 3636 | Registered: Oct 2001
| IP: Logged |
posted
Farmgirl, a lot of times it helps the other person just to know that you are there. You are probably doing more than you know.
Posts: 747 | Registered: Aug 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
They are still critical. The one I don't know has woken up. The person I do know is in really bad shape, but at this point they think he will survive.
Posts: 188 | Registered: Aug 2003
| IP: Logged |
quote: It is just hard on me because I don't think I'm very good at comforting people. I really want to , and all, but I never know how to best comfort. It isn't my gift.
Just calling is good comforting. So many people will be afraid to do just that out of discomfort or fear of "saying the wrong thing". And keep calling or dropping notes in the months to come, it will help.
Posts: 2711 | Registered: Mar 2004
| IP: Logged |
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
