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Topic: LOTR Wenches' Tavern

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*soaks blissfully in a strawberry bubble bath, contemplating his next adventure*

drain the swamp behind the Wenches’ Tavern and perhaps discover some ancient artifacts
visit the old crone in the woods and discover her secret for making distilled mushroom liquor
perfect the sport of spider twine shock cord jumping
fix the kite, send Fallow aloft, and see what trouble he gets into

*decides to consult with the goat*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*falls asleep with book open to chapter 402 - "The Pet Goat Rides a Kite"*

"grampa?"

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*expertly lashes kite frame together and stretches the sail cloth over it*

*finds goat nibbling on Shan's roses*

C'mere goat; I need you to help me improve the glide ratio of this contraption.

*Feeds goat a basket of raw cabbage, supplemented by hard boiled eggs and a pound of cheese*

...vectored thrust...

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

"grampa? grampa, are you asleep?!"

{{{

*hails skillery*

skill? what are you doing with the goat there? I think that beast belongs to the wenches.

}}}

*snorts*

*coughs*

Yes, I think I may have been.

*hefts book*

So, it's the story of the Pet Goat and Skillery's

"he's funny!"

who?

"Skillery. He's funny."

well, he wasn't always so, but that's another story. should I continue with the goat and the kite?

"yeah"

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*suspends goat from a sling behind the pilot's sling*

*affixes a wooden rudder to the goat's tail*

*looks around for a volunteer test pilot*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

Let's see what he's up to, then, shall we?

{{{

*hails skillery*

*brushes cracker crumbs off chest*

Nice rig, sir! does that thing fly?!

}}}

*hears a derisive sigh*

"grampa?"

what?

"you read that part already!"

I did?

"yes, you did!"

well, I'll skip forward a bit then, you're majesty. how's about that?

[ July 07, 2004, 02:50 AM: Message edited by: fallow ]

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

Ah, a volunteer!

*begins strapping Fallow into the pilot's sling*

To turn, just lean to one side or the other.

This mechanism releases the tether.

And this is your supplemental propulsion unit...

*points to the bloated goat*

Any questions?

Good!

*checks the wind*

*secures the free end of the tether to a fence post*

...now I suppose I should warn you...

...where'd he go?

*squints into the glaring sun as Fallow and supplemental propulsion unit soar heavenward*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

YEEEEE!!!

"munch munch"

HAWWWW!!!!!

"munch munch"

*fallow sails into the wild blue yonder, tears of joy beginning to form as he reaches out to touch the face of...*

"munch munch"

what the?

*turns around in his seat as the goat bites through the last fiber of the tether*

oh crap!

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*waves goodbye to Fallow*

*rushes inside the Wenches' Tavern and runs up the stairs to the tower bedroom*

*watches as Fallow glides into the distance*

*takes note of the general direction of the kite's travel*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*throws some stale biscuits in a poke, climbs up on the orb weaver's back, and heads off in search of Fallow*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*relaxes into his seat as a stiff breeze promises to keep the untethered kite aloft*

"munch"

*admires the scenery drifting by, semiconsciously wondering what the goat is nibbling*

*the fields... the forest... the streams. the lake off in the distance. the odd scorched-earth scattered here and there.*

"munch"

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*crosses a familiar stream*

*wonders if it's keg day*

*decides to take a brief side-trip*

*notices that Argiope minuta seems a bit on-edge*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

"munch"

*reaches hand over shoulder and swats goat's muzzle*

cut that out!

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*feels a shudder go through the giant orb weaver*

*is terrified to find that the trees on both sides seem to be following him*

Not trees...no roots.

Legs?

*tilts head way back and looks up*

Holy Mommy Bugga Bugga!

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*closes his eyes to nap and rubs his nose at the slight tingle of ozone burning his nose*

*the kite flutters a bit*

*opens one lazy eye to see a melon-shaped airborne vehicle in the distance behind them*

bleet?!

*turns to the goat*

what is that?

*shockwaves buffet the kite*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*is deftly plucked from the orb weaver's back and finds himself being crushed in the pincers of the mother of all spiders*

*watches as the tiny orb weaver far below scurries up the nearest tree*

*feels his head spinning as the air is forced from his lungs*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*a small hand slaps down hard on the open book*

"grampa!"

*pause*

what?

"Is Skillery gonna get eaten?"

well, what do you think?

"I think you should have saved him!"

how could I? I was stuck up there in Skillery's contraption with that infernal goat!

"so."

so?! what do you mean so?

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*hears the universally recognized sound of expectoration*

ptoooi!

*feels like a watermelon seed as he sails through the air*

*waves at Fallow and goat as he passes*

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Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*picks her frail old body up off the floor*

"Grandson - Gramps is NOT a gentleman. Never has been, never will. You want skillery saved, go have an adventure and save him."

*Pats the l'il tyke on the head and glares at fallow.*

*Hobbles outside to inspect the rosebushes*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*what happened then, gramps? are you snoozing?"

*snorts awake*

just catching a bit of shut-eye. what happened next?

*stabs finger down on page*

well, near as I recall and as what's written down here, the spring came early that year. The gourds and melons of the wenches' garden grew thick and ripe for the harvesting. The roses bloomed in beautific varieties crossing the spectrum from blue lush to lavendar crush.

"grampa?"

yes?

"are you talking about gramma again?"

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Space Opera
Member
Member # 6504

posted

*decides that after the fireworks excitment she needs to relax*

*pours herself a glass of rock rabbit and sits under a tree humming a Nat King Cole song*

space opera

Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004 | IP: Logged |

fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*peers over his reading glasses*

no. no, I wasn't talking about your grandmother.

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Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

"When he gets to the part about the thorns, grandson . . . "

*Stalks back upstairs to her boudoir*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

"well, then, howcome the book keeps talking about you?"

when?

"every time you doze off."

yes?

"and it 'sounds' like gamma, but she's upstairs and her voice is coming from the book!"

*shrugs*

what do you want me to do about it? your grammy was never much of a navigator. they took her kite-license away, you know?

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*wearily pushes through the front door of the Wenches' Tavern*

*kicks off dusty orc-skin boots*

*collapses into the overstuffed chair by the fire and props his feet up on the hearthstone*

*snoozes*

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Olivetta
Member
Member # 6456

posted

The original thread is gone. I have a copy if anyboy's interested. [Razz]

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Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

oooo...

Go Olivetta!

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*packs up the spider kite and stores it in the shed for the winter*

*makes his way through the cobwebs down to the Bachelor Wizard's Pad to check on the spiders*

*hears the crunching of what sounds like bones under his feet*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*feels a cold chill as the bones at his feet begin to move of their own accord*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*stands in awe as the bones begin to assemble themselves*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*Is awakened by the swiping of a wet and raspy goat tongue across his unshaven face*

How long have I been asleep?

Not long enough?

Okay.

ZZZZZZZZZ...

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pooka
Member
Member # 5003

posted

So this isn't the real Wenches tavern?

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Tante Shvester
Member
Member # 8202

posted

<-- fantasizes about being a tavern wench

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*Dreams of tavern wenches*

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Evie3217
Member
Member # 5426

posted

quote:
<-- fantasizes about being a tavern wench

Me too! I think we should star a club Tante.

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
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░░▒▒▒▒▒A spanking!▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░
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Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004 | IP: Logged |

Tante Shvester
Member
Member # 8202

posted

quote:
Originally posted by Evie3217:
Me too! I think we should star a club Tante.

Hmm...Club Tante...

Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005 | IP: Logged |

Tante Shvester
Member
Member # 8202

posted

quote:
Originally posted by skillery:
░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░
░░░░░░░░▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░░░░░░░░░░
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░░▒▒▒▒▒A spanking!▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒░
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░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░░Z░░░░░░░

Wow! I'm so impressed! How do you DO that thing that you do?

Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005 | IP: Logged |

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*Is awoken by voices*

Wha wha what? Is somebody calling me? Mom?

Must have been having one of my <ALT>177(▒) dreams again...

*Yawns*

Wenches...

ZZZZZZZZZZ...

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Tante Shvester
Member
Member # 8202

posted

Now this was a bar. Too bad it's so defunct... [Frown]

Posts: 10397 | Registered: Jun 2005 | IP: Logged |

Tinros
Member
Member # 8328

posted

*sniff*

Tante? You've turned on me?

[Cry]

Posts: 1591 | Registered: Jul 2005 | IP: Logged |

Tante Shvester
Member
Member # 8202

posted

Tinros, I haven't left you. I have, however, left that other establishment for a while.

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Jeesh
Member
Member # 9163

posted

Tante! I thought you were a Giants Shadow!?!?!

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Jeesh
Member
Member # 9163

posted

Why leave Tante?

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Tante Shvester
Member
Member # 8202

posted

Folk at the other place are misbehaving. I can't relax there with all that consternation.

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Jeesh
Member
Member # 9163

posted

The war ended. Peace is restored. But Tinros is a water molecule. [Frown]

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Jeesh
Member
Member # 9163

posted

The war ended. Peace is restored. But Tinros is a water molecule. [Frown]

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*awakens to find himself slouched in a large, overstuffed chair*

*notices a profusion of hair on chin and body*

*struggles to rise but finds that the hair on his back and buttocks has intertwined with the fabric of the chair*

*considers signing up for meals on wheels*

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Tinros
Member
Member # 8328

posted

*glug*

The Mighty Robot isn't responding, Tante. You and your thermometer are my only hope of ever being human again!

*glug*

Posts: 1591 | Registered: Jul 2005 | IP: Logged |

Earendil18
Member
Member # 3180

posted

*A bright star says hello to all the good folk, and continues on its voyage o'er the twilit' land*

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