I'm not going to begin this letter by saying that your chocolate has sucked for years. That would be rude, and wouldn't acknowledge the very noble efforts you've been making of late to improve the dismal level of quality we've come to know over the years from this American classic. Things have been getting better; I mean, we're not left to merely scavenge the dregs of the assorted miniatures bag anymore looking for stray Special Darks - there are more options open to us these days. You've even fulfilled my childhood dream of making dark chocolate Hershey's Kisses, though you didn't follow the suggestion I made to you in a letter I wrote you in 1990 (at the age of 9) that you call them "Kisses in the Dark." Well, that and they're kind of gross, but that's neither here nor there.
What I'm actually writing about is a recent experience I've had with Hershey's Nuggets. I had such high hopes upon first discovering the Dark Chocolate with Almonds Hershey's Nuggets - they weren't too bad, weren't too waxy (is it the unique treasure box shape that insures structural integrity and lets you use less wax?) and I actually reached a point where I would intentionally spend money on them.
You can imagine my dismay, then, having such high standards before going into my first experience with the Limited Edition Dark Sweet Chocolate and Raspberry Hershey's Nuggets. I suppose I should have noticed the small disclaimer in the skinny sans serif font below the beautiful "Chocolate and Raspberry" script font, the disclaimer that reads "Artificially Flavored." I didn't, though - not with the illustration of actual raspberries there on the front of the gilded package.
I must ask, after perusing the ingredients and finding nothing more enlightening than "natural and artificial flavors," what the actual substance is that you manipulate to taste at once so strangely of a vague fruity aroma and so disconcertingly similar to isopropyl alcohol? My limited chemistry background leads me to guess that it is some sort of an ester; one of those chemicals that strangely smells kind of like a fruit, you know, the ones they use to make scented markers. As to why you would claim that this particular flavor is akin to a raspberry, I am still entirely clueless.
What I really want to know is if there's any way to bargain the use of actual raspberries out of you. There must be something I can offer. I'm sure actual raspberries, as opposed to this sweetly fragrant isopropyl alcohol you've invented, are rather expensive, but there must be some sort of financial arrangment we can reach here. I'm willing to concede the lovely red satin ribbon that's tied on top of this package, proclaiming it a Limited Edition, I suppose, in exchange for something that tastes like either dark chocolate or raspberries. Maybe the actual ribbon didn't cost you much, but I bet that lady you paid to tie all those ribbons could be more gainfully employed elsewhere. By all means, don't downsize her in cost-cutting efforts now that I've brought her to your attention - she'd do a really nice job bringing the raspberries into the chocolate factory, or maybe sorting through them to take out the sick moldy ones.
I hope we can reach some sort of consensus here. If you're willing to work with me, I'm willing to remain a citizen of the United States and encourage my friends to do so as well. I mean, I'm still going to buy my chocolate for five dollars a bar at the organic grocery store, and never again make the mistake of trying dark chocolate Hershey's Kisses, but I promise that I'll still buy a Special Dark bar when I'm at a rural gas station and they don't have anything better.
Thank you, Mr. Hershey. I look forward to years of continued cooperation and when I get rich I'll send you to France on a vacation to learn what chocolate is actually supposed to taste like.
posted
I'm perplexed as to why you still bother with Hersheys. There's clearly much, much better stuff out there. And they're not about to change their ways. The letter was fun to read, though.
Oh, and how do you pronounce Anneke? Does it rhyme with Zeke (or eek! ) or is it more like a cross between Anne and Chanukah?
Posts: 1810 | Registered: Jan 1999
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Ah, yeah! Bar none was so good! Everytime I like something they stop selling it. Like Thomases Waffles and Earl Grey loose tea. They don't sell that at the supermarket anymore ( One time I got some mediocre Breyer's ice cream and they sent me a coupon for more and I got BETTER chocolate Breyer's. Also, Dove and Ghiradelli dark chocolate are so good.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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This is making me want to write a letter to various food corporations and get free stuff. Maybe I should...
A friend of mine wrote to Kraft a couple years ago about EasyMac (I forget if it was a complaint or a compliment, but some sort of communication), and got a box of EasyMac. Not just a box with six packs in it, but a carton of boxes with 6 packs. He had a lot of EasyMac. We were grateful.
Posts: 3932 | Registered: Sep 1999
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You forgot to mention that they (along with almost everyone else) put soy in their chocolate. Don't they realize that there are some people out there that both: a. really enjoy chocolate and b. are allergic to soy (ubiuitous wonderfood that it is). Don't they know how much money they could make targeting soy-sensative chocoholics?
(Note: While I do happen to be allergic to soy, my reaction is not bad enough to warrant my avoiding it. I desperately pray for the day never to come when I would have to avoid it, cause it's in abosofreakinlutely everything. I feel bad for people like my mom, for whom that day came years ago.)
Posts: 5879 | Registered: Apr 2001
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The actual name Anneke is Dutch and does rhyme with Hannukah. My parents, though, are strange Americans and pronounce it to rhyme with panicky. Or, as I like to tell people upon meeting them, it's like anarchy without the R.
aspectre, liked the link. I really liked the informative information such as:
quote:The importance of Montana is that it grows wheat and barley. And they mind for copper, lead , zinc , silver ,coal and oil. ... The capital of Montana is Helen ... Montana effects are lives because it gives us food like wheat and barley
I wonder if I should spoil that child's illusions by informing him that 80% of our barley goes straight to the Coors brewing company?
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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They use soy protein as an emulsifier (meaning smoothifier) in almost everything (most dairy products - butter, cheese, yogurt, sour cream, ice cream, etc. - contain soy). It is also a super cheap source of protein (hence why it appears in everything else). I wish I could remember all the names it goes by - lethecin, natural flavorings (almost always refers to soy), mono-diglycerides, vegetable protein, MSG, vegetable oil, etc. Try checking out all the stuff you have in your pantry - chances are you're eating a lot more soy than you knew.
While not necessarily a common allergy, it is usually a very severe one (up in the ranks with peanut allergies). Most everyone is aware of peanut allergy and companies are very careful about labeling their products accordingly. Soy gets no such attention.
quote: must ask, after perusing the ingredients and finding nothing more enlightening than "natural and artificial flavors," what the actual substance is that you manipulate to taste at once so strangely of a vague fruity aroma and so disconcertingly similar to isopropyl alcohol?
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One may not complain about Hershey chocolate until they have actually been to Hershey, PA and bought chocolate that had been made fresh earlier that day on site. There is a world of difference between fresh chocolate and crap that has been sitting on the shelf for 3 months. Until one has tasted the former, they have no idea what it is really supposed to taste like.
Of course, since I've had the real stuff, I don't every buy Hershey's chocolate from the regular store. I have to wait until I visit my grandfather in PA.
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Hershey has my eternal gratitude for letting me taste kosher smores even if it wasn't as good as a real smores.
Posts: 3446 | Registered: Jul 2002
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MSG isn't soy, ludosti. It's often included in heavily refined soy products to give it some semblance of flavor, but it's quite a different thing thing than the soy protein you're allergic to. 'Course, you might also be allergic to MSG, many people are.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Hershey s'mores are nothing like real s'mores. If you want to try s'mores, go get yourself some kosher marshmallows, chocolate, and graham crackers, and build a fire.
Posts: 1357 | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote: I wonder if I should spoil that child's illusions by informing him that 80% of our barley goes straight to the Coors brewing company?
What a waste of good grains! Now, if it were going to a micro-brewery....
Great letter, Annie. I tried eating a Special Dark from the kids Halloween candy this year, and couldn't finish it.
Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Its sooo hard to get kosher marshmallows in Tallahassee. I managed to get some for my camping trip, but I bought them in South Florida. Also, the marshmallows weren't very good for smores purposes. I kept on trying to make them and I failed so many times I resorted to just stuffing melted marshmallow, graham cracker, and chocolate in my mouth at the same time. Besides, the Hershey smores bar still is a tasty treat even if it isn't genuine.
Posts: 3446 | Registered: Jul 2002
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True, kosher marshmallows don't melt all that well. Like some of the lower quality kosher cheeses, they tend to form a weird, plastic-like skin, while only the insides melt.
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Yeah, Hershey PA chocolate is soooo good. Now why didn't I go there when I was just out in PA? I have no idea. Chocolate from the Ghiradelli factory is AMAZING. Best chocolate ever.
I try to keep a supply of ghiradelli around. Its the best commercially available chocolate that isn't ridiculously priced, as far as I've found.
Posts: 4112 | Registered: May 2001
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<--- lives within a 20 minute drive of a Costco where you can buy a huge box of Ghiradelli brownie mix which is fudgy, amazing and replete with semi-sweet bits of Ghiradelli chocolate.
Posts: 3423 | Registered: Aug 2001
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quote:Chocolate from the Ghiradelli factory is AMAZING. Best chocolate ever.
Have you tried the new Ghirardelli double chocolate chips? FanTAStic. I use them in my candy-making ventures.
Once I went to a Ghirardelli restaurant in Chicago and had an ice cream cone dipped in chocolate and rolled in almonds. It wasn't like any sort of chocolate dipping I'd had before - it was marvelous. Oh, man. Good thing I don't live close to one of those places.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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It may be a regional thing; I used to buy them in CA, but by the time I got to Dallas, they were already here.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:One may not complain about Hershey chocolate until they have actually been to Hershey, PA and bought chocolate that had been made fresh earlier that day on site.
This is absolutely true. But I'll still take Valrhona or Chocovic or Michel Cluizel or even Ghiradelli over Hershey's any day, no matter how fresh. And you don't even always have to pay a ton for it -- Trader Joe's has been carrying 80oz bars of Chocovic for something like $1.39 a bar.
Posts: 1810 | Registered: Jan 1999
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Lucky people who live by Trader Joe's. I finished all my Orange Sticks and my chocolate soy milk that I bought on my trip. And we don't have See's here, either, and getting a pound of Bordeaux here is ridiculously expensive. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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The letter was hilarious. Did you really send it to Hershey?
I still have some Raspberry truffles in my refrigerator made with Callebaut semi sweet chocolate and real raspberries. If you drop by, I'll give you one or two.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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Rabbit, don't tempt me with such things! And I'm not in Bozeman anymore, I moved home to Stevensville, which is, shall we say, a bit behind the times. The Mexican aisle at our one grocery store carries Taco Bell brand. I'm already having Chinatown Restaurant and Dave's Sushi withdrawals....
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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What? You don't think it's worth the drive to Salt Lake for a Raspberry Truffle? If you were still in Bozeman, I'd send you to JoNae's -- they have wonderful raspberry and huckleberry Truffles. The price, however, is high enough that if you eat very many of them you could easily exceed the price of a trip to SLC.
I know you aren't in Bozeman anymore, but you aren't that far from Missoula. If they've got them in Bozeman they must have them in Missoula.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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Hmmmm. I'm going to disagree with your mom. This way, it's so over-the-top that it's obviously meant to be that way. I bet the customer service department will think it's hilarious and send you as much free stuff as they're allowed to.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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1. I figured they were about grade 3. They're in grade five... are my expectations too high?
2. The "effects" of the states belong in the State Motto thread. It's the child's eye view of the production (and thus the overall effect) of each state:
Poor Iowa's only claim to fame is when it joined the union!
[edited for ultimate Teshi stupidity; I apologise ]
My favourite one, though, is California:
"It provides entertainment for the [rest] of the United States" (hee hee) and "there is a movie theater" and
quote: The effect of California is well,31,431,000 people live their and they make new things every day that is how we got the U.S, pencil.
EDIT: I'm sorry, Annie, for randomly interrupting your chocolate thread but I just found something most upsetting.