He believes in perfect equality--everyone is food regardless of race, creed, color, or lineage. Dwarf, elf, Beornling, goblin, they all taste good fried.
He believes in high tax rates--100% plus the horse (or Elk) you road in on.
He is anti-gun, well, anti-bow and arrow especially black arrows.
While he is tough on crime, he doesn't believe in long prison sentences. He would rather eat you now.
He is against the Military/Industrial Complex and believes that a small army is better than a large army, unless you are really hungry.
He legalized smoking pipe-weed, and smoking anything else he breathes on.
He believes that lethal injection is a cruel and unusual punishment, not to mention a tainting of tasty man-flesh.
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Feb 2003
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This is awesome. And even a little helpful for me as a foreigner who is not too intimately familiar with American politics.
Posts: 366 | Registered: May 2016
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Smaug is going to sit where Smaug is going to sit, and you darn well know that's his horde. Get your own trinkets and gewgaws.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Smaug auditioned for Game of Thrones. Smaug hates CGI. Smaug is not fond of HBO either. Smaug totally gets George RR Martin, though.
Posts: 22497 | Registered: Sep 2000
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Chuck Norris no longer does his own stunts after encountering the magnificence of Smaug.
Chuck Norris no longer does anything, actually. What you've been seeing is a clever Hollywood double.
Posts: 14554 | Registered: Dec 1999
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Smaug thinks the part should have gone to an actual wyrm, not some silly human in a stupid suit.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Smaug hates "The Hobbit" and "Peter Jackson", but hasn't destroyed the movie because like everyone else, he loves "Benedict Cumberpatch."
Posts: 1941 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Despite several glaring character flaws the GOP is pretty sure Smaug is more electable than Trump and his simple economic plan has Hillary trying to come up with something which soundbites as nicely.
Posts: 18 | Registered: Aug 2016
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