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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » The Smaug in American Liberalism

   
Author Topic: The Smaug in American Liberalism
Darth_Mauve
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Smaug is a Liberal.

He believes in perfect equality--everyone is food regardless of race, creed, color, or lineage. Dwarf, elf, Beornling, goblin, they all taste good fried.

He believes in high tax rates--100% plus the horse (or Elk) you road in on.

He is anti-gun, well, anti-bow and arrow especially black arrows.

While he is tough on crime, he doesn't believe in long prison sentences. He would rather eat you now.

He is against the Military/Industrial Complex and believes that a small army is better than a large army, unless you are really hungry.

He legalized smoking pipe-weed, and smoking anything else he breathes on.

He believes that lethal injection is a cruel and unusual punishment, not to mention a tainting of tasty man-flesh.

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Darth_Mauve
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Smaug is a conservative.

He is very strong on crime, calling for capital punishment even for petty theft.

He is intolerant of any immigrants, legal or illegal, into his country.

He will build that wall!!!! of fire.

He demands a simplified tax system--everyone gives him everything. Can't get much simpler than that.

He is pro hunting--except dragon hunting.

He believes that Global Warming is not man-made. Its Dragon made.

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Scott R
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:chuckles darkly:
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PanaceaSanans
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This is awesome. And even a little helpful for me as a foreigner who is not too intimately familiar with American politics.
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Brinestone
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Cute. [Smile]
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Jake
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It's nice to see you Darth_Muaving up the place.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Smaug promises a barbecue in every home!
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Bob_Scopatz
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Smaug has gone and burninated the bacon again. Smaug just doesn't care. Smaug likes burnt bacon.
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ClaudiaTherese
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Smaug is going to sit where Smaug is going to sit, and you darn well know that's his horde. Get your own trinkets and gewgaws.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Smaug still does his own stunts, unlike Chuck Norris.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Smaug auditioned for Game of Thrones. Smaug hates CGI. Smaug is not fond of HBO either. Smaug totally gets George RR Martin, though.
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Scott R
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Chuck Norris no longer does his own stunts after encountering the magnificence of Smaug.

Chuck Norris no longer does anything, actually. What you've been seeing is a clever Hollywood double.

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Scott R
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Smaug gets along well with Trogdor.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Smaug thinks "the Great Worm" would make a great name for a band.
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ClaudiaTherese
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Smaug thinks the part should have gone to an actual wyrm, not some silly human in a stupid suit.
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Darth_Mauve
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Smaug hates "The Hobbit" and "Peter Jackson", but hasn't destroyed the movie because like everyone else, he loves "Benedict Cumberpatch."
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Elcheeko75
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Smaug most certainly did not feel the Bern.
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Bob_Scopatz
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Smaug is made up of fluorocarbons. And fog.
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Jacare_Sorridente
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Despite several glaring character flaws the GOP is pretty sure Smaug is more electable than Trump and his simple economic plan has Hillary trying to come up with something which soundbites as nicely.
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Scott R
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Smaug does not like ketchup. Or catsup.
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Darth_Mauve
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Smaug insures that all ballots are absentee ballots.
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