"She was a nice Irish girl due to be Irish stew any day now."Loved this. Nice opening at the beginning, but for me it seems you've crammed too much info in the first thirteen. I felt most of this should be sprinkled throughout later paragraphs. As it is, the info seems to confuse rather than inform. IMHO, and this is just MHO, I'd like to see the MC interact with her surroundings.
"She looked furtively around. What was she even doing here?"
Where is "here"? (We don't know.)
What does she see when she looks furtively around? (You don't tell us.)
As it reads now, I'm a little confused about her plight, being overloaded with snippets of info that have no context.
But take this for what it is - an opinion
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