I try not to get into fights for the very reason that there are some extremely nasty characters out there. With this guy, once I picked up on what was going on, I put on my bright and charming air. He was drunk, even though it was not yet noon, and what I had done could well be misconstrued. (I swear, though, that my sigh was out of pure happiness, and I'd completely forgotten about him. Which was why I was so surprised when he expressed concern for my welfare -- really, it seemed quite sweet at first.)
But, jimminy pete. Enough with the chip on the shoulder. [not you, Dag, just guys in bars]
It actually worked out fine. His friend came back and sat next to him, and their barstools were so close that he was "sharing" a seat with his buddy.
Dig deeply enough and most men will rise to the occasion, especially if it's a woman we care about.
Whether it's a guy who won't hit a woman but will cheerfully pound on the guy with her to the guy who may have nothing invested in the woman nearby but feels a personal need to rise to the occasion, there will be violence.
I find it amusing that most men understood almost instantly the implications of violence and the how’s, whys and wherefores violence would be initiated on their behalf, yet the women at the time were fairly oblivious.
Personal storytime I flew up for a friend's wedding - his fiancée and her girl friend picked me up from the airport.
She gets into a honking match with the car in front of her.
The car in front of her? Decorated like a Mardi Gras float with "Semper Fi" and "US Marine Corps" stickers. I couldn't see through the window for the mass of shoulders and heads that filled the back window.
I finally leaned forward and asked my friend's fiancée not to get me killed on my first night in Connecticut.
posted
And that is one of the reasons I try to only do risky things when I am by myself. It's a risk I can take for myself, but not a position I should put anyone else in. (I did apologize to my friend, btw... regardless of my wishes, if things would have turned violent I know he would have been involved, one way or the other.) For myself, I would rather take the risk than be a quiet victim.
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posted
Funnily enough, I take the opposite view. If anyone makes a comment, which is pretty rare, thankfully, I don't consider them worthy enough for me to rise to the bait and reply. Let them think what they like about my silence. I usually stick to the most distainful and stoniest look I can summon.
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posted
Sometimes I feel that way, CT and ElJay. Partly it's because I want to exercise the skill in martial arts that I've gottne over the years. But right now I dunno, because I'm out of practice. I still think I could grapple pretty well.
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posted
I don't go looking for fights. Really, I don't. I generally give off more of a nun vibe.
But sometimes the frosty glare is appropriate, and sometimes it isn't. (In this case, ignoring him or shooting a steely look would have likely made things worse).
Sometimes making nice is appropriate, and sometimes it isn't.
Sometimes, I'm sure, physical violence is appropriate. Likely rare cases, but at times, yes.
I'm not about to limit my arsenal of defenses, not at this time of my life. But just because I may occasionally want to take out my aggression, doesn't mean I go picking fights.
*shrug He was drunk and irrational. It wasn't funny at the time, but it sure was funny once I could verify he wasn't on the airplane.
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posted
I fully acknowledge that if it ever came to a fight I would lose. It would be foolish of me to think otherwise.
It hasn't happened yet. For the most part the guys either throw up a little bravado and then leave or just slink away.
I would not recommend anyone else do what I do. I do it because of specific incidences that have left me feeling this is the best response for me.
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posted
I've never gone out looking for a fight, and I don't plan to.
And I don't deny that it's as likely as not that I'd get the poo beaten out of me in a fight, it's just that, I dunno. It's an experience I should probably have at some point in my life, just to know what it's like.
I'm not a terribly confrontational person, as many of you might know, but I do speak my mind. Posts: 4816 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
(((ElJay, Ryuko, Teshi, Dragon, mackillian, foundling, and all the other cool chicks)))
and definitely also (((Dagonee, TMedina, twinky, and all the other wonderful men who want only the best for us)))
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posted
Luckily I've never been in a situation which might get violent, however, although I certainly would not merely stand back (hahahaha... no) an extra pair of hands, of any gender, would be welcome should a situation arise. Goodness knows I'm not exactly el tough fighting demon.
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Trevor - not only have I handled my own fights, I've won them. And I ain't a lady officer, nor am I trained in any particular self-defense.
I just know how to do psycho-b**** from hell better than some jerk can do bad a** from some street corner gang.
And I know a fair amount of women that can handle taking care of themselves, too.
(And no - not a one of us would be lesbians - in case that's where your chauvie pig ideas might take you. )
HOWEVER! I still reserve the right to fantasize about some knight in shining armor coming along to protect me from all the nastiness the world can deal out. I'm not sure it would bother me at all, mack - as a matter of fact, I think I might like it . . .
*goes back to Jamie and Claire*
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
Well, I will say that my husband displayed either an extreme love of music, or a respect of women's rights at a Bob Dylan concert.
A guy had stepped on my toe very hard. He did not even know it, i guess. A few minutes later, he turned in my direction, and I flipped him off. He said, "What did you do that for!" I told him he had stepped on my toe. He got into my face, big time. I thought for sure we were going to the mat. Luckily, my strong husband was there to protect me.
My strong husband turned to us and said, "Could you two pipe down, he's about to come out."
I think the big dude and I just sort of moved on after that.
[ April 11, 2005, 12:01 AM: Message edited by: Elizabeth ]
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
Note to women: Please don't put your man in a position to have to save you if you can avoid it. We'll risk our neck for you... and our ribs, nose, teeth, jaw, etc. You don't want an ugly man, do you?
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Teshi! You're right! What the heck happened to my thread?
All right, people! Confessions! share 'em here, first. Practice up for the real thing. Lay it on us, the thicker the better and the deeper the - well, you get the point.
**********
Save Khav from an angry biker babe? Are you kidding? Those women are dangerous!
posted
I have a final essay due tomorrow at 3:00. It's 11:12. I have nearly two pages written out of eight. My motivation is nearly zero and I'm posting on Hatrack. I'm making up some of the footnotes.
That is my confession.
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posted
Actually, I've discovered a nice thing about this essay. It's allowing me to speculate, which takes no footnotes at all. Right now I have eleven, and I'm on the third page. Sample:
quote: More diverse parties in the house would increase the range of issues that would be discussed, as well as simultaneously broadening the points of view expressed by the members, and giving more strength to a particular idea; a party, even a small one, has more sway than a single member. Party cohesion would also be a necessary side effect- parties, in order to face up to a more diverse opposition, would be forced to take a clearer and more unified stance on issues. A more closely linked party would also reach out to support its members in their campaign, reducing the reliance on the individual sponsors and lessening the danger of bribery.
posted
I've never even been in a fight, so I have no idea how well I could handle myself. (I'm a guy, in case anyone's still confused on that point. ) It's actually kind of surprising that no one's ever attacked me, considering the smart mouth I've always had and the fact that I didn't learn to control it till I was in my twenties. But either way, I have no idea how well I'd do in a fight, and I would hope that any woman I was with would either be tough enough to handle herself, or smart enough not to start fights with people in the hopes that I could bail her out.
Edit: Holy crap, a lot of posts popped up while I was writing that. Suddenly it feels like I'm changing the subject. . . .
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Shan! I love that series! It's surprising how few people have heard of it, much less read it. Makes me want to visit Scotland... *dreamy sigh*
(Although, I have to say I enjoyed The Fiery Cross the least of them, it seemed to drag on somewhat, but that could just be because it's bigger and heavier to hold up in bed at night. )
Posts: 1431 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Ha ha ha. We went to a Donna the Buffalo show the other night in Troy, NY, and there was a man who was at least 6' 5" tall, about 300 pounds, wearing a kilt. It must have used five yards of plaid wool.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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After the movie "Troy" came out, the idea that kilts would become the fashion rage was bandied about. I really, really wish it had! Men in kilts are really, really, sexy. Plus, we women could refer to men as "skirts" in a casually sexist way, and it would be about time!
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
My shocking confession: After posting in the Favorite Childhood Toy thread, I am very seriously considering trying to track down and collect some of my erstwhile favorite toys (not those specific toys, but of the same type).
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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quote: Note to Khavanon: I don't flippin' want to be saved.
Just to play devil's advocate, if you were with a good friend, gender makes no difference, and they got into a pi**ing match that turned ugly would you stand there idly while they were being beaten? I contend that it isn't your desire to not be saved that is paramount, it's their desire to help a friend avoid a trip to the emergency room.
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) It's actually kind of surprising that no one's ever attacked me, considering the smart mouth I've always had and the fact that I didn't learn to control it till I was in my twenties. But either way, I have no idea how well I'd do in a fight, and I would hope that any woman I was with would either be tough enough to handle herself, or smart enough not to start fights with people in the hopes that I could bail her out. ![[Cry]](graemlins/cry.gif)
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