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Granted! The personal assistant is everything you dreamed and more...and you find this out when s/he develops an obsession with you, kidnaps you, and takes you to a remote cabin, when s/he forces you to produce new and exciting paperwork for him/her to complete.
I wish someone was giving me a massage at this moment.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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GRANTED!!! You do get a massage by a really handsome tall guy, but later found out it was a transexual and he was getting too intimate with you....
Umm...I'm still waiting for my wish...
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Granted! You can eat absolutely nothing and not die. But instead you can only breathe nitrogen thus you suffocate and die.
I wish had a pet monkey, that didn't have rabies or any other disease or problems and it obeyed my every whim.
Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote: you spend the entire rest of your life stuck in a midget sized office at some college campus advicing students on financial aid.
I do that anyways. I'd just as soon know what I'm talking about
Anyhoo, back on track:
Granted! Unfortunately, it gets eaten by wild monkey-eating dogs who won't go away even after they've eaten the monkey, and you thus become outcast from society due to being surrounded by wild monkey-eating dogs.
I wish for Spring to never end.
Posts: 99 | Registered: Mar 2005
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GRANTED!!! Now you are permenantly frozen in time. Spring forever baby!
I wish I had complete control over the Earth.
NOTE: Oh! I didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings or pride, besides, I meant being inside a very small office, a crappy compy and just being there forever, as in FOREVER AND EVER. I don't think anyone would want to live that way...
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Granted! Complete control of the Earth is yours! You do not, however, have control over any of the other planets. Jupiter and Saturn team up to launch an attack on you. The Earth is no match at all.
I wish I had a lovely garden with lilacs and tomatoes and strawberries.
Posts: 486 | Registered: Feb 2005
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Granted! But your garden is infected by toxic waste and takes over the known universe. First they eat you like you planned to do to them.
I wish that none of my wishes could be turned against me. They would be exactly what I wished for and that alone. (Beat that! )
Posts: 6026 | Registered: Dec 2004
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Granted, you are now a school janitor who works in the bathrooms. Your love for the job come's from the hard work you put out so that children can trash it again.
I wish I could get my hands on a complete mint condition signed copy of First Meetings. ^_^ (The one I read didn't have the fourth story... grumble.)
Posts: 1831 | Registered: Jan 2003
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NOTE: I was SO not offended. I actually found it pretty funny that your description was so accurate -- and I promise, I don't intend to do it forever and ever!
Granted! Unfortunately, the copy you get your hands on turns out to be stolen, and you are put in prison for it when it is returned to its rightful owner.
I wish that no one would ever hurt anyone else ever again.
Posts: 99 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Granted! Except now the earth's ozone layer is completely obliterated forcing us to all live underground, where the ceilings are only 7 feet high.
I wish I had socks with no holes in them.
Posts: 486 | Registered: Feb 2005
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GRANTED!! You clean up your house and it's now sparling. Suddenly, a dirty mean cat comes in trough the window and sullies your floor with mud.
I wish I had all the super powers I wanted. (Orbing like Paige from Charmed, eternal youth and life, three wings, and the best body and looks possible)
Posts: 3389 | Registered: Apr 2004
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Granted! And now you have a stalker. You really wanted all those pics taken through your blinds of you undressing posted online at www.altáriëlroxors.com, didn't you?
I wish I felt better.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Granted! you have the power of teleportation, but cannot control the destination, also you have a superhuman sense of smell, trust me, it will suck.
I wish I were a better student, and could earn a PhD
Posts: 2332 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted, but you hid it in various foreign banks under fake names to hide all your money from the government, and you can't remember any details that would allow you access.
I wish I had a job that didn't have a mortality rate.
Posts: 2302 | Registered: Aug 2008
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Granted! You are now a mass of infinitely-supported tumorous tissue, a kind of living Henrietta Lacks, hooked eternally into a hamster wheel and harvested weekly for biomass even as you beg your handlers to let you die.
I wish this wish was not subject to the monkey's paw and was actually somehow just beneficial.
Wait, that's boring.
I wish I had two more nights in this hotel.
Posts: 15421 | Registered: Aug 2005
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Granted! You are hired to manage the hotel, making twice what you make now, and with great benefits and thus get to move into the hotel, however you only stay two more nights before the hotel burns down, and now you have no job at all.
I wish I my computer was so cool it was like one Tony Stark would have.
Posts: 2332 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Granted! The world is now leaderless and falls into chaos and barbarism.
I wish I had a "new ray" that anything I pointed it at and pulled the trigger would be in brand new perfect condition.
Posts: 6683 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Granted! Unfortunately the first time you pull the trigger at anything, the whole universe reverts to its brand new state just seconds before the Big Bang. You were pointing it at a part of the universe after all...
I wish for the existence of a happy, pleasant and fulfilling afterlife for all people who die.
Posts: 676 | Registered: Feb 2003
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Granted! Your hair grows healthy and even all over your scalp, just in time for girls everywhere to decide bald is in, and only natural baldies are attractive. Your SO leaves you for Patrick Stewart.
I wish for this game to stop.
Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Granted! You reincarnate as yourself, the game of life begins anew. But now you've been born in 2018, you become enslaved by the robot uprising of 2020 along with the rest of humanity. Unfortunately, this time you have no memories of pre-enslavement to sustain you. You die in mental agony.
I wish Mr. Card would come back to the forum.
Posts: 1194 | Registered: Jun 2010
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Granted. You can now only make wishes that beneficial to your other people. More specifically, to your enemies. Thus in the end, not so beneficial for you.
I wish that I could read faster, yet still remember the story afterward and be able to sympthatise with the characters.
Posts: 1100 | Registered: Apr 2008
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