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I saw a couple of nuns walking around Disney World one day. Man, people kept getting out of their way. They probably never waited more than ten minutes all day.
One of these days I'm going to wear a habit into the park.
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I recently attended a funeral - and yes, there were people wearing jeans. I'm still not over the "women wearing pants to church" thing - even though I did for a few months. I eventually revereted back to skirt/blouse outfits because that's how I grew up.
This thread made me think and I realized that we don't shake hands in church (LDS) any more. I always used a firm grip, even as a kid, because that's just how you did it. I don't know when or why that changed, but I don't recall the last time I shook hands with anyone at church. Maybe I should start a new (old) trend.
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I still shake hands a lot at my church. I thought it was the bishopric's primary responsibility to shake hands before and after the meeting. And part of the paying tithing ritual involves shaking hands...
My firmness is always in relation to the person. If I have to take the more mature role I always make sure my grip is firmer. If I don't, I'll just match the other person's firmness.
I use to play the vicegrip game as a kid too. It was fun, especially when I won!
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At my church (Presbyterian), we had a Sharing of the Peace which involves shaking the hands of people in pews near yours. It always bothered me whenever someone had the limp handshake.
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I have lily-white, college-boy, piano-man hands. There's no way I could have a crushing grip even if I wanted to. So instead I opt for the casual firmness which, coupled with my easy smile and twinkling eyes, let the person know that I'm not really trying, and if I wanted to I could squeeze the stuffing out of their hands with the a strength that belies their appearance.
I also note that my handshake depends on the social standing of the other person. If it's someone who needs to be in the "alpha male" position, I'll let them set the tone of the handshake and respond to them. If I feel I should be the alpha, I set the tone. Sometimes we get our wires crossed and ramp up the handshake intensity, trying to prove dominance while staying within culturally acceptable degrees of firmness and not lingering in the handshake for longer than appropriate.
And sometimes I just smile and nod. Maybe wave, maybe the wink and the gun. You know. When I'm not up for the handshake dance.
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At my synagogue, everyone wears their nicest clothes for the Sabbath services. For guys this is a black suit with a white shirt. For women, always skirts or dresses. I have never ever seen a woman in pants in my congregation. And a denim skirt doesn't cut it -- you wear the stuff that needs to go to the dry cleaners (or looks as if it should have a "dry clean only" label).
A person in a tee shirt and jeans would surely seem out of place.
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quote:Originally posted by Bob the Lawyer: And sometimes I just smile and nod. Maybe wave, maybe the wink and the gun. You know. When I'm not up for the handshake dance.
You wave a gun when you don't want to shake hands!? Remind me never to do this
Recently I was accosted in a parking lot by kids selling candy for school. I was suspicious because it was July, and broke, so I knew I wasn't going to buy anything.
But one girl had obviously been told that a firm handshake is the way to close the sale, because she shook hands very firmly and then wouldn't let go! She was a skinny teenage girl, but had quite the grip. Stronger than mine, probably. I'm cursed with weak hands. Maybe I should brandish firearms like Bob to avoid whimpering when teenage girls shake hands with me.
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I'm not a fan of the mamby-pamby handshake, but what really irritates me are the knuckle/finger grabbers. I like a good firm handshake but that is impossible when someone grabs you around the knuckles. I've even gone so far as to grab the wrist of someone doing this to me and forcing my hand further up so we are firmly palm to palm while looking in their eye so they understand I felt they were trying to intimidate me and I didn't appreciate that technique.
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I hate the whole practice of handshaking, and I never offer my hand for one.
Also, I have several sets of exactly the same clothes so that I don't have to think about what I am going to wear everyday. Hearing that Einstein also did that makes me feel smarter.
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We did away with handshakes at my school sometime last year. Rubbing ankles was the preferred method.
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I actually did the all-my-clothes-the-same-color thing for a few years, until I got tired of black. Even now my wardrobe is all the same *type* of clothes--jeans and t-shirts--so I still don't have to think about what to wear, I just grab whatever's on top of the stack. Which is a good thing, because I get dressed in the dark on weekday mornings, and don't know what color shirt I'm wearing until I emerge blinking into the kitchen Posts: 957 | Registered: Aug 2002
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I have a habit of wanting to shake hands every time I meet someone new, even in casual circumstances like a party or a get-together with peers. Usually I get a weak handshake in response along with a "who shakes hands anymore?" facial expression. I guess shaking hands is more formal than I take it to be, espesially amonst people in my age rage (mid-20's.) Being a very affectionate person, I like the idea of having a form of affection that is suitable when dealing with strangers. I also have a habit of hugging people everyone time I say goodbye, usually even if I had just met the person. It's always uncomfortable when I get a rigid hug and a pat on the back as a response.
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quote:I have a habit of wanting to shake hands every time I meet someone new, even in casual circumstances like a party or a get-together with peers.
I'm getting this visual of Ten Second Tom always wanting to shake hands, and how absolutely irritating that would be.
Posts: 1256 | Registered: May 2005
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I had to train myself to stop shaking hands. As a missionary, you shake hands with EVERYONE. I went to my best friend's wedding reception shortly after getting home, and when I was introduced to someone, I stuck my hand out. He laughed, shook it, and said, "Fresh off the boat, right?"
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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I like handshakes, but everyone in my age/peer group (parents of small children) is slightly wary of germs, so it's not as common as it might be in other age/peer groups. One of the things on my son's "list of things to buy for school" was a bottle of antibacterial gel! I'm not sure whether to be happy about that or horrified. Heh.
My mom has an old progress report card of mine from kindergarten where the teacher wrote "Jennifer needs to stop hugging the teacher so often as it interferes with class learning time." Clearly I have always been a 'touchy-feely' person. Haha. Handshakes don't scare new people as much as full-body hugging, and since I am a caring individual (and modest! ), handshakes are what I proffer.
Unless you are mackillian. Then it's full-on *tacklehug* time, physical-contact issues be damned!
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I think people don't shake hands in a good way simply because they haven't been taught. It isn't that there's something wrong with them. They just don't know, until someone shows them. Just a guess.
Posts: 1877 | Registered: Apr 2005
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I'm often surprised when someone my age range (college, 18-22) offers a hand to shake. At times it'll catch me off guard. I think it catches people off guard when I offer my hand to someone my age or younger as well.
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jexx's comment about "full body hugging" made me laugh. Mr. Opera (at his old company) worked for a time with a woman who did this - after her second day of employment. Needless to say, he learned to ward her off. I always wondered if there was a bit more than "friendliness" to her hugs - meaning if she somehow saw it as a twisted way to try and get ahead since she tried it with all the men in the company. Either way, truly weird in a professional environment.
quote:I think people don't shake hands in a good way simply because they haven't been taught. It isn't that there's something wrong with them.
Sometimes there IS something wrong with them. Like a neuromuscular disease or arthritis or carpal tunnel syndrome.
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posted
Actually, forget handshaking and forearm-grasping. Physical contact with strangers is overrated anyhow. Let's just all go back to bowing.
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I like doing that kind of bow. Right leg back, left hand across your chest, right hand sweeping outward with a great flourish. I wish I had more social excuses to use it. It's more interesting than a handshake, and you don't have to sweat about whether your handshake is too strong or too flimsy. And since you're not sweating about it, the other person doesn't have to worry about touching your sweaty hands. Everybody wins.
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![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
I'm still not over the "women wearing pants to church" thing - even though I did for a few months. I eventually revereted back to skirt/blouse outfits because that's how I grew up.![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
I always used a firm grip, even as a kid, because that's just how you did it. I don't know when or why that changed, but I don't recall the last time I shook hands with anyone at church. Maybe I should start a new (old) trend.
![[Laugh]](graemlins/laugh.gif)
![[No No]](graemlins/nono.gif)
She was a skinny teenage girl, but had quite the grip. Stronger than mine, probably. I'm cursed with weak hands. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Wave]](graemlins/wave.gif)
Maybe I should brandish firearms like Bob to avoid whimpering when teenage girls shake hands with me.
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
), handshakes are what I proffer.![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
Needless to say, he learned to ward her off. I always wondered if there was a bit more than "friendliness" to her hugs - meaning if she somehow saw it as a twisted way to try and get ahead since she tried it with all the men in the company. Either way, truly weird in a professional environment. 
