quote:Originally posted by Lyrhawn: I guess they are viewing it as a pre-engagement ring, as he says he doesn't have the money to buy her a diamond, therefore it can't be considered an actual engagement ring.
Okay, there's another bit I don't understand. Where did the idea that an engagement ring has to have a diamond come from? (Mine is sapphire and I've never felt like it wasn't a "real" engagment ring.)
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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From an ad agency in the 1920s who came up with a great idea to artificially inflate the price of diamonds by linking it to love.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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Yep, it was one of the most brilliant pieces of marketing, even. They even managed to convince people at the same time that, excepting possibly family heirlooms, it was tacky to give a used diamond.
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Aspirations? Poetry went out of style? Four cows no longer an acceptable alternative? There was an empty space in the zeitgeist and this filled it?
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I think we should go back to giving four cows. Though I don't quite know how you'd fit them into the bottom of a champagne glass...
Posts: 3960 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Movies, ads in the early days of popular television, a catchy slogan, and propaganda agents sent to classrooms.
Interestingly, a similar effect happened in Japan for Western/US-style weddings (big building that looks like a church, white dress, tuxedos, people throwing rice, ornate cake, person that looks like a minister or priest conducting the ceremony) despite the complete lack of a marketing campaign -- Japanese people saw it in movies and such and found it appealed. Keep in mind that only a small percentage of Japan is Christian, so most of the 'churches' and 'priests' or 'ministers' in question are fake; there's a huge industry around it.
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quote:Originally posted by FlyingCow: I think we should go back to giving four cows. Though I don't quite know how you'd fit them into the bottom of a champagne glass...
Never mind that. Can you imagine the strain on the poor girls' left wrists?
You know, not every girl wants a huge diamond. Some don't even want a ring at all.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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A friend of mine proposed, then took his girlfriend out to an antique jewelry shop to pick out her ring (far more her style than a newly created diamond ring). She chose a beautiful antique opal necklace instead of an engagement ring, and she's far happier because of it.
My roommate was given a "stand in" ring when her fiance proposed, because the one he was having custom made wasn't ready yet. I'm sure that concept would apply for someone who hasn't bought a ring yet, too.
I wonder just how many proposals are done without engagement rings at all - with a ring to be bought later. And of these, how many have a "stand in" ring of some kind.
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I had a stand-in ring for a while with this guy from a few years ago. It was a $10 ring from Wal-Mart. When we broke up I gave back the real ring but kept the $10 ring.
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One of my parents friends was proposed to with a cigar band (because it was on a trip to Europe and an impulsive proposal).
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Bob proposed with a stand-in ring and then we picked out an engagement ring and our wedding rings together. I wore the stand-in for two weeks while the jeweler found the perfect sapphire to go in the setting we picked.
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Hmm. I love my diamond ring, but I don't think it's more real than my sister's (or Dana's) sapphire engagement ring. Thanks for the link, fugu; that was interesting.
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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We looked into a bunch of different stones for the ring, and while diamonds are not at all the only possible stones, there are a lot that are pretty delicate and would be inappropriate for a ring worn every day. Diamonds, sapphires, and rubies are all hard enough to wear every day, but emeralds and tourmalines are more breakable, and opals are made bubbles and spiderwebs.
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I had an amethyst and sterling silver engagement ring. I didn't want a ring at all but my husband insisted (and it was good he did, people would have had a lot of problems seeing it as "official"), and so I specified silver and emerald as my first choice; he couldn't find it so my second was silver and amethyst. I also specified it must cost less than $100, preferably less than $80. I really didn't want an expensive ring. I am not a ring person, and didn't want to waste money on it. I did wind up with a very nice wedding ring, it's very unique, one of the few rings I've ever liked; I got it at a HUGE discount and I only wear it when I leave the house, not all the time. I'm just not a ring person.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I always thought that when I gave a girl an engagement ring, I could somehow get my mom to cough up hers and my grandmother's engagement diamonds (which are currently in a pair of earrings my mom had made), and then I could buy a band and slightly larger diamond to create a three generation engagement ring. I love things that have extra meaning and significance behind them like that.
I guess it wouldn't even have to be a big diamond in the middle, if it's a specially made ring maybe I could get my future wife's birthstone, but it'll probably depend most on what sort of job I have at the time.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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According to the recent Emily Post, which is not a scientific survey, maybe about half of couples pick out the ring after the question is answered. After all this way she gets to help pick it out.
Posts: 544 | Registered: Mar 2007
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It was a beautiful star filled night, which was a relief since I had been planning this for about 6 months.
(don't even ask about the point 2 months prior when she asked me when I was going to propose and I did the worst thing possible--I laughed.)
So any way, we were outside, just having a nice evening picnic. I think she thought we were just going to kiss a bit, but my parents were at the house behind us, and kept interrupting us every few minutes.
I looked up at the star filled sky and said, "You know, on nights like these those stars look so big and so close, you can almost reach up and grab them in your hands."
I reached up, and made a grab at one of the stars.
"Oh, I got one. Now, what can I do with it?"
She was looking at me strangely. But I am/was used to that.
"I know just the perfect place for it." With my free hand a took her hand, and then opened the first hand, the one supposedly with the star in it.
It contained the engagement ring I had palmed earlier.
As I slipped it on her finger I asked her the question. She didn't answer me right away, but was too busy kissing and hugging me.
At that point my father called down to us again, wanting to know if we wanted some cake or something they were having for desert. She just giggled and we grabbed our stuff and brought it up to the house to show everyone.
One curious note: I hand planned and prepared to ask her the big question for months. I was totally unafraid of what her answer would be. However, telling my family and hers was the most nerve wracking time in my life. I have no reason why, because all were overjoyed at our engagement. I guess it was I just had not practiced what I would say with them yet.
Posts: 11895 | Registered: Apr 2002
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A horse-drawn carriage ride under moonlight and flowering cherry trees in Victoria, B.C. works well... Posts: 3826 | Registered: May 2005
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quote:Originally posted by anti_maven: BTW - did all you guys have the ring already?
What ring? It's four years later, and we still don't have wedding rings. And you know what? We don't care. I think we discussed it all of, oh, maybe two times total. No one has ever commented to either one of us about our lack of rings, so as far as I can tell, they're not as important as, say, DeBeers would have you believe. I always said I'd rather have a downpayment on a house than a diamond. Well, we spent the money getting me from Canada to Sri Lanka instead.
As for the proposal... Considering that Fahim and I didn't meet in person until eight hours before we were married... There were no creative proposals, but honestly, I didn't care about that, either. I was happy enough that the man I loved returned my affection, and expressed it over and over and over. He proposed to me over the internet somewhere between 150 and 200 times. We lost count. Nothing gimmicky, but heck, it sure worked. Posts: 8355 | Registered: Apr 2003
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