posted
How about going to a wedding chapel in Las Vegas with Chris Angel as entertainment, an Elvis impersonator singing “Ain’t Nothin’ But a Hound Dog” and a Big Mac, Coke & fries for dinner?
Posts: 1221 | Registered: Aug 2001
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When I proposed to my wife, I tried to make it romantic, but not necessarily off the wall. We had a spot up in the mountains that we considered "ours." So after I took her to dinner, we drove up there. First, I had packed a couple of champagne glasses in the trunk and a bottle of sparkling cider. Next, I had brought along my guitar and played a little love song I'd composed for her. Then we hiked up to our spot and I got down on one knee and proposed to her.
She knew it was coming. We'd gone ring shopping the week before. But I still felt it my duty to make it special and romantic, and I'm glad I did. She still talks about that evening fondly.
Maybe mix a little unexpected with a lot of familiar, be on your best behavior, show you really put some effort into making it special.
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I remember for our anniversary (still dating, not yet engaged) I tried to get my guy to agree to a late-night pizza picnic in a parking lot. It sounds stupid but our first date was a school production of "The Crucible." Afterwards, we spent hours talking in the parking lot not wanting it end, only be forced into the car by cold, dew, and mosquitos. Then we made a stop at Walmart for frozen pizza and watched "Adaptation" at his house.
A recreation of that is the sweetest thing I can imagine. Or something similar. Like, if he took me back the sushi restuarant where I had my first taste of the stuff while enjoying my first trip back to New Orleans after Katrina. Or a homecooked romantic meal set up at our favorite spot on the lake. Something like that makes note of how far we've come and how those first butterflies of love never left my belly.
But I like really quirky surprises that show how much we know each other.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2005
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My proposal was so dorky I'm too embarrassed to share it publicly. She loved it, though, so I guess that's all that matters. Posts: 1945 | Registered: Jul 2005
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For me and my wife, it had been the tradition to decorate her parent's Christmas Tree. I had done a little preparation and put a nice ribbon around her ring, and put it in my pocket. As we were decorating together (a year and a half ago now), I put the impromptu ornament on the tree, hanging like a star above the nativity themed ornaments. Her mother, who was in on the event, then prompted her daughter to stand next to me for a picture, whereupon she noticed the ring.
She was surprised.
Like a previous poster said, surprising her with the question is more important than surprising her with the method. But incorporating it into something that you enjoy doing with each other couldn't hurt!
Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by rollainm: My proposal was so dorky I'm too embarrassed to share it publicly. She loved it, though, so I guess that's all that matters.
You proposed at a Star Trek Convention? And you were wearing full Klingon regalia?! Man, that IS dorky!
Posts: 1099 | Registered: Apr 2005
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I say skip the creativity. The decision to marry her is likely the most important decision of your lives. That moment should be private and romantic but with a solemnity that reflects the importance of the event. Asking the question using some "gimmick" cheapens the moment no matter how expensive the gimmick.
Plan a simple romantic date, something you enjoy doing together or someplace that has a special meaning in your relationship. Be sure you've planned some private quiet time during the date when you can pop the question. Then look into her eyes and ask. This isn't like asking someone to Prom. If you can't ask looking into her eyes, then you probably shouldn't be asking at all.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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If you know how to make chocolates then you can make a box of chocolates with the ring inside one of them. You would have to make few of them to make sure she gets to them all. Also she has to eat them in nibbles so she doesn't eat the ring... ok maybe this idea won't work out.
Fortune cookie is overused, as is the ring at the bottom of the champagne glass. Hmm, I like ring in fish to be honest. It was so pretty in that movie/show Tenth Kingdom.
Posts: 2705 | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: I say skip the creativity. The decision to marry her is likely the most important decision of your lives. That moment should be private and romantic but with a solemnity that reflects the importance of the event. Asking the question using some "gimmick" cheapens the moment no matter how expensive the gimmick.
Plan a simple romantic date, something you enjoy doing together or someplace that has a special meaning in your relationship. Be sure you've planned some private quiet time during the date when you can pop the question. Then look into her eyes and ask. This isn't like asking someone to Prom. If you can't ask looking into her eyes, then you probably shouldn't be asking at all.
quote:Originally posted by JonHecht: If you know how to make chocolates then you can make a box of chocolates with the ring inside one of them.
I saw that movie too. You should remember that she was so impressed by the flavor of the chocolate that she didn't notice the ring. In the end, she refused the ring and married the other guy (the one who made the chocolate box).
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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quote:Originally posted by The Rabbit: I say skip the creativity. The decision to marry her is likely the most important decision of your lives. That moment should be private and romantic but with a solemnity that reflects the importance of the event. Asking the question using some "gimmick" cheapens the moment no matter how expensive the gimmick.
Plan a simple romantic date, something you enjoy doing together or someplace that has a special meaning in your relationship. Be sure you've planned some private quiet time during the date when you can pop the question. Then look into her eyes and ask. This isn't like asking someone to Prom. If you can't ask looking into her eyes, then you probably shouldn't be asking at all.
Definiately.
I asked Mrs_Maven to marry me in the ruins of a folly, built to over look the sea. We had gone out for the day for a walk along the coast and she thought I went on one knee because my shoelaces were undone...
She said yes. The sun shone, the sky was blue, and not a thing to spoil the view.
quote:Originally posted by DSH: My only suggestion is to surprise her in the asking (not surprise her with how you ask).
I totally disagree. Marriage is such a big step that you've hopefully talked about it in depth before the question is actually popped. It shouldn't be a surprise that you're asking, but it should still be nice.
Posts: 866 | Registered: Aug 2005
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quote:Originally posted by rollainm: My proposal was so dorky I'm too embarrassed to share it publicly. She loved it, though, so I guess that's all that matters.
You proposed at a Star Trek Convention? And you were wearing full Klingon regalia?! Man, that IS dorky!
Heh. Not quite that bad.
Posts: 1945 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Sounds like quite a trick! I hate to think what it felt like for the chicken!
This week I will be talking about it without directly addressing the question. I don't want her surprised by the question, but I do want her to feel a little mystery about exactly what we're doing that evening. I'm with Celaeno: the best surprise for major life events is none at all.
anti_maven, your day sounds pretty creative to me. Or at least pretty, which is enough.
Posts: 544 | Registered: Mar 2007
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I think it is fine if you surprise her by asking, but add that she doesn't have to answer yet. You've thought about this a lot. If you haven't discussed it before now, at least give her a chance to think about it instead of surprising her, putting her on the spot, and then asking for an answer.
Which means anything in public is right out.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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quote:surprising her with the question is more important than surprising her with the method.
I was about to say, you want to do one or the other. I was quite surprised by the question, even though I think we may have discussed it once or twice ... and supremely grateful that he asked in a private way where I could think about it and answer without worrying about anyone ELSE looking at me. (Not that I wasn't sure about marrying him ... just that I wasn't sure I was ready to marry yet.)
All those movies and TV shows where people propose at a party in front of all their friends, or at a basketball game on the jumbotron, always make me nervous for the poor girl. I'm always hoping that they've discussed it so much that the asking is just a formality and he (and she) knows exactly what she'll say.
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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I forgot to say - even though it was private it was pretty nice (my proposal, that is). We went to the beach after work with a picnic to watch the moon rise. It was beautiful, and private since it was dark (and March).
He didn't get on his knee though, since we were sitting on a blanket on the ground; neither of us thought about it until the ride home, at which point I made him stop the car and get out and kneel and ask me again. Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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I have a Canadian friend who hid the ring in a kinder-egg. It was the best toy she'd ever found in one.
Also, I have a friend who had already had the conversation, but still wanted it to be a surprise, so he waited forever. They were having a picnic, and she kept thinking, "Okay, here it comes." But he held off and held off, so that she finally gave up, and she really was surprised when he gave it to her.
Posts: 31 | Registered: Jun 2006
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quote:Originally posted by JennaDean: He didn't get on his knee though, since we were sitting on a blanket on the ground; neither of us thought about it until the ride home, at which point I made him stop the car and get out and kneel and ask me again.
I don't mean this in an offensive way, but why? Where did the idea of kneeling to propose come from and why is it so integral to the concept that you needed a "do over" to include it?
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Paul proposed to me on the pitcher's mound at the BYU baseball stadium. He's a pitcher (though not for BYU), and it was very sweet because it was based on something he remembered from a very early date in our relationship. We had gone for a walk and ended up at a random baseball field where we started joking about what all the bases "mean" in the relationship progression sense. Granted, we're LDS so this pretty much consisted of walking over to first base and kissing and then laughing because neither of us knew what second and third base were. I walked over to the pitcher's mound and said something like, "Hey, what about the pitcher's mound?" He hesitated and said, "That's for later..." and we walked away. I suspected what he meant at the time, but it was over a year later when he proposed.
Edit: I should add that we kinda snuck into the stadium when it was closed, so no one else was around. It was December, too, so there was snow covering the field. It didn't stop him from kneeling...though I made him get up as soon as he asked the question. Posts: 1635 | Registered: Aug 2002
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*refrains from making a dirty joke about what the pitcher's mound actually represents in that context*
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Woah! It actually means something else?? I mean, I've heard all the bases by now, but I've never heard anyone say anything about the pitcher's mound. Yeah, we definitely didn't know. Posts: 1635 | Registered: Aug 2002
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I'm just messing with you. There's another, ahem, act that is sometimes known as fifth base, but I was pretty confident you guys didn't know about that.
Posts: 5462 | Registered: Apr 2005
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My husband used an in-joke of ours and did something really sweet and relatively inexpensive. How about incorporating something that actually means something to the two people involved rather than just going for showy? Absent that, asking privately, in a heart-felt, sincere, and respectful manner, would be lovely. Maybe choose a meaningful spot to do it?
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I agree with Jenna and Kat. If the question is a surprise and you haven't discussed it before, don't do it in public. If you've already discussed it, fun and public would be ok.
As for mine, I was visiting him for Christmas, and when I got to his house, there was a jewelry box sitting on the coffee table. We'd talked about it, so I KNEW that was the ring. We sat down, and he handed me the box and said, "Merry Christmas!" I opened the box eagerly, to find...a lovely pair of white sapphire earrings. (He said the look on my face was hilarious.) Then, he got the ring out of his pocket and said, "And, by the way, will you marry me?"
Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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I just took my wife to a beautiful spot and we sat on a stone bench and I managed to pull the ring out of my back pocket during a kiss. She totally didn't see that coming and was so shocked that when I asked her she started busting out laughing.
I must have lost 3 years off my life during those 10 seconds.
But hey we got married so I guess my way worked. Posts: 14316 | Registered: Jul 2005
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Qaz, don't listen to those telling you to skip the creativity. I think it is very sweet that you want to make this day so memorable for her. Of course, the day will always be special for her, but if you're wanting to put some thought into it, I say go for it!
Regarding whether to do it in public is another thing to consider. Ask yourself, does she know a proposal is near and are you sure she will say "yes"? If you answered yes to both, you could consider asking her with her family and or friends present. Many girls like to share that moment with those close to her.
It doesn't have to be expensive. I can understand that is a concern. One idea that I always thought was very creative was a scavenger hunt. Place clues (riddles) around the house or park (with a flower or candy) until she gets to the end-you with a ring! Lt. Riker did something like that in this episode. I thought it was cute and she loved it.
Posts: 2064 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Make asking the question the big surprise and not how you ask. Murphy's law loves to screw with my elaborate plans, so it's wise to follow the KISS method of keeping it simple, silly.
Above all, make it personal. A place that you two share, while "your song" plays quietly in the background, etc. Something that makes it unique to your relationship. And make it romantic. It should be a special, intimate moment you'll both remember for years afterwards.
And, as others have said, its best to not do it in public. That's great for movies, but it could really make her feel self-conscious, and if it's a surprise, that will add to any hesitation.
Posts: 208 | Registered: Jun 2005
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Make it personal. It doesn't have to be big, or something no one else has ever thought of, but it should be something you BOTH always remember.
Find a place that means something special to both of you, some place you both love,and consider asking her there. It doesn't matter where, really.....Disney works for some of my friends, and I did it at the Ocean right before Christmas, so we could share it with my family later that night. Posts: 15082 | Registered: Jul 2001
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quote:Qaz, don't listen to those telling you to skip the creativity. I think it is very sweet that you want to make this day so memorable for her. Of course, the day will always be special for her, but if you're wanting to put some thought into it, I say go for it!
I don't think anyone has discouraged Qaz from making the event special and memorable or from putting some thought into it. What I and others are discouraging is anything showy, public or gimmicky. This is a very important event and what you do should reflect that. You don't want to cheapen the moment with anything that might be considered a silly game.
As for surprises, I guess it depends on what exactly you mean be surprise. My father always told us that if a marriage proposal came as a surprise, the answer should definitely be no. I guess that depends on exactly what one means by surprise. I thinks it's exciting if the time and place surprise her, but if the whole idea comes as a shock it spells real trouble. After all, this is something you've clearly been thinking about and planning for quite a while. If she isn't thinking about it too and has no idea that you're contemplating marriage before you pull out the ring, then you've got some serious communication problems in your relationship.
Posts: 12591 | Registered: Jan 2000
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quote:Ask yourself, does she know a proposal is near and are you sure she will say "yes"? If you answered yes to both, you could consider asking her with her family and or friends present. Many girls like to share that moment with those close to her.
And I would add a third question: would your particular woman of choice like to be asked in front of other people? I would have hated if my husband had asked me in public-- even though we had discussed it and he knew I would say yes.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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One of my friends got a big bag of conversation hearts, and went through them and picked out all the ones that said "Marry Me" and put them in a bag and gave them to her. He was a bit nervous when she didn't say anything but kept searching through the bag, until she told him she was looking for the one that said "Yes" to give back to him. He had foolishly neglected that little detail. She said yes anyway, and I thought it was a really cute way of proposing.
Posts: 7954 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:After all, this is something you've clearly been thinking about and planning for quite a while. If she isn't thinking about it too and has no idea that you're contemplating marriage before you pull out the ring, then you've got some serious communication problems in your relationship.
Agreed!
I am of the opinion that if you haven't had some serious conversations about marriage, children, jobs, life plans, etc., you shouldn't be asking (or shouldn't say yes, at least not right away.)
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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quote:Originally posted by JennaDean: He didn't get on his knee though, since we were sitting on a blanket on the ground; neither of us thought about it until the ride home, at which point I made him stop the car and get out and kneel and ask me again.
I don't mean this in an offensive way, but why? Where did the idea of kneeling to propose come from and why is it so integral to the concept that you needed a "do over" to include it?
Um, because I was 20 and I thought that was the way it should be done? It was all done in teasing, of course, but when you're still a young'un and you have been imagining your proposal your whole life, you can get nitpicky over inconsequential things.
I wouldn't do it now, of course.
Posts: 1522 | Registered: Nov 2005
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My husband did remember to kneel but I had to remind him that he was supposed to put the ring on my finger. I was kind about it, though. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I've got two memorable engagement approaches (neither my own) that I would recommend not using:
When my (to-be) brother-in-law asked my sister to marry him, he took her for a walk in the mountains to a scenic overlook up by Bear Lake. They sat and talked, and she knew it was coming. Then a caravan of vacationers returning home pulled off the road, within her sight but not his, and began relieving themselves. Not noticing her discomfort (or the men exposing themselves behind him) he evidentally said, "I'll always remember this night" and popped the question.
My other amusing story was from one of my roommates. He arranged with a friend beforehand to dress up like a vagrant and gave him the ring (in an oily brown paper bag), then dropped him off up Provo canyon. Later, my roommate was driving down the canyon with his soon-to-be-fiance. She knew something was coming. He saw this (apparent) vagrant, clutching an oily brown paper bag, hitchhiking back to town. They pulled over to pick him up (despite her protests). The "vagrant" acted disoriented and a little threatening, but my roommate pretended not to notice. Then he "realized" they were out of gas. While he jumped out to fill up, the vagrant leaned forward and asked, "Do you want to see what's in my bag." Somewhat horrified, the soon-to-be-fiance said, "no." (I don't know why she didn't get out of the car; that's what I'd recommend in that situation). The "vagrant" pressed the issue and finally she said yes, just to shut him up. He pulled out the ring, and my roommate (who had been watching) came around to her door, got down on one knee (in the gas station parking lot) and asked her to marry him. She said afterward that she
So, like I said, I wouldn't do either of those.
Posts: 2926 | Registered: Sep 2005
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quote:One of my friends got a big bag of conversation hearts, and went through them and picked out all the ones that said "Marry Me" and put them in a bag and gave them to her. He was a bit nervous when she didn't say anything but kept searching through the bag, until she told him she was looking for the one that said "Yes" to give back to him. He had foolishly neglected that little detail. She said yes anyway, and I thought it was a really cute way of proposing.
That was my dream proposal when I was growing up! I even told my best friend about it in high school and she swore she'd tell Mr. Right once I found him.
Posts: 1733 | Registered: Apr 2005
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quote:Originally posted by JonHecht: If you know how to make chocolates then you can make a box of chocolates with the ring inside one of them.
I saw that movie too. You should remember that she was so impressed by the flavor of the chocolate that she didn't notice the ring. In the end, she refused the ring and married the other guy (the one who made the chocolate box).
.... that was in a movie? I am dead serious, I just thought it was a good idea. The idea for me stemmed off of the classic fortune cookie move.
Posts: 2705 | Registered: Sep 2006
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Blayne Bradley
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space shuttle ride to the moon.
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Kids these days with their technology. Is nothing sacred anymore?
It's funny this is being brought up, as a few of my friends are nearing engagement time. My best friend's sister had her one year anniversary with her boyfriend, and we're all just waiting for him to pop the question. They've talked about it, we all know they are getting married, so we await the day.
So he drives her across the entire state of Michigan that weekend to Silver Lake, where her family and me and my friends go every July to camp for a weekend. They go to probably the most scenic spot you can reach without a dune buggy, at Little Sable Point Lighthouse, annnd....he gives her a promise ring...
Needless to say she had a bit of a let down there, but I guess they are viewing it as a pre-engagement ring, as he says he doesn't have the money to buy her a diamond, therefore it can't be considered an actual engagement ring. I think the whole thing was ridiculous, but there you go. Beautiful place to propose by the way, if you're ever on the west coast (of Michigan that is) near dusk and you want to pop the question, the shoreline is loaded with places to do so.
Now there's two other friends in our group, who are currently in Europe and Africa (one is in Croatia, the other in Ghana) for summer abroad programs. But when they are done, they are meeting for two weeks in Germany and Paris. The girl in this couple thinks that Paris would be the absolute most romantic place ever that he could propose, but he's kind of a doof and we don't think he'll do it until she actually comes out and tells him to propose (also kind of a tool).
But ideas for proposals have been flying. Personally I think he should propose in Germany at the remains of the Berlin Wall, as she'll never see THAT coming, but he could romantic and say something like "once there was a wall here that kept a nation, and families separate from one another. But if you say yes to this next part, I'd make sure our families, and our hearts, were united forever." And then he gives her the ring. Not sure if the Berlin Wall thing would ruin it or not, but I think it'd be romantic if he did it right.
There's always a push to make some sort of original or grandiose proposal. Personally, I think the whole search for something new and original is overblown. You don't have to hire a theater troupe or bring in seventy six trombones for a great proposal. It can be quiet, personal, and deeply from the heart, and it'll be just as special in 50 years when you look back on it. It doesn't have to cost any money at all (well, except for the ice rink that girls consider adequate rings these days), I think it just needs to come from the heart to be memorable. Cite something from a first date, or maybe she's mentioned some family vacation she always loved, or place that the two of you went that she always loved the most.
Make it personal, say it from the heart, and probably, keep it simple.
Posts: 21898 | Registered: Nov 2004
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The idea for me stemmed off of the classic fortune cookie move.
