I think I think, I think.

I know what secrets lurk in the hearts of men.
Nobody knows what secrets lurk in the hearts of women--especially Ralphie.

I gave a hand at someones fleamarket, and haven't seen it since.

Hi, My name is Dan Raven and I am an adult fan of Mathnet.

I tried to join the Mathnet Geometry Unit, because I love thier motto--To Protract and Serve.

I am the only surviving female pope.

I like to wet my hands and then introduce myself to people. "Hi, I'm Bob from Urinalysis."

I once convinced some people that a booger I was playing with wasn't mine -- I'd just "found" it.

I have covered my walls with pictures of plucked chickens and turkeys being basted by women in nurses outfits.

My wife said she wanted me to butter her up. Three tubs later and she's still not happy.

quote:

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I have a lot of hair in places you'd never expect it -- like in a giant plastic bag in my closet.

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...I really do have hair in a bag in my closet. I just can't bring myself to throw it away! It's from when I got all my hair cut off in one fell swoop. So it's a bad thing?

Similarly I am slightly overweight, yet by wearing tight pants and plaids, I am sure nobody can tell.

My fashion sence is exactly 37 years ahead of its time. (If that's true, and you have any taste, you really want to be dead by then--trust me.)

I know the world thinks I am sexy.

I am surprisingly like a red rubber ball.

I came back as a bag of groceries accidentally taken off the shelf before my expiration date.

I find Buddha sexy.

The Q. doesn't really stand for anything. I made it up.

I am Lissande's subconcious, snarky comments.

"Subconcious and the Snarkys" would be a good name for a rock band.

I am to sexy for my hair. That's why it no longer there.

I once sucked on a pen until all the sheep got out.

I keep an octopus by my bed in case of emergency.

I took Mother Theresa out for a night on the town. She got very drunk and a little rowdy. You were wondering how she got all those beads, weren't you?

I lose weight when I sneeze, but I gain weight when I fart.

I live over an abandoned cemetery.

I was the first to quote TMBG in this thread.

I do not suffer from insanity. I enjoy it.