posted
OK, I need a mindless project to keep me sane during exam/paper crunch and I’ve settled on trying to compile a list of one movie quote for each of the 50 states. The quote should have the state name and imply something about the state in a witty fashion.
If anyone can come up with any more, I’ll add them to the list as soon as I can confirm the quote, movie title, and name(s) of the character(s). If there are multiple nominations per state, we can argue vehemently about which one should be selected, and then I’ll just pick the one I like best.
Dagonee
Here’s the current, fully validated list: The links take you to dialog. Some of the dialog is from R-rated movies. Don’t click if this might offend you.
Alabama Forrest Gump: You know what I think? I think you should go back to Greenbow, Alabama! Forrest Gump contributed by mackillian
Alaska Sam McCord: George, a wonderful thing about Alaska is that matrimony hasn't hit up here yet. Let's keep it a free country! North To Alaska contributed by rivka
Arizona Rod Tidwell: I'm from Arizona Jerry! I broke Arizona records! I went to Arizona State! I'm a Sun Devil, man! Jerry Maguire: And now you want Arizona dollars? Rod Tidwell: Exaaaacctly! Jerry Maguire contributed by rivka
Arkansas Anthony Cortino: I'm not my father, Diane, just like you're not your father. If we were our fathers, what we did last night would only be legal in Arkansas. Jane Austen's Mafia! contributed by rivka
California Lex Luthor: We all have our little faults. Mine's in California. Superman contributed by rivka
Colorado Angela: So, what's this for? [showing Jack his gun] Jack: It's uh... it's for shark fishing. Angela: Shark fishing... with a silencer? Jack: Yeah. You certainly seem to know your ordinance. Angela: Colorado. You grow up with guns. The Net contributed by rivka
Connecticut Gus: Connecticut is the fifth ring of hell. The Ref contributed by Javert
Delaware Rosie: Maryland's a beautiful state. Marco: (Looking away) This is Delaware. Rosie: I know. The Manchurian Candidate contributed by Teshi
Florida Albert: Oh yes... Coldeman. The "d" is silent in America. It's Cole D'Isle au Man, or Cole of the Isle of Man, in France, where Armand's chateau is, Cold-e-man in Greece where Armand's work is, and finally the vulgar Coleman in Florida where Armand's home is, so actually, we don't know where we are until we hear our last name pronounced! Ahahahahahahaaaaa! The Birdcage contributed by Happy Camper
Georgia Maj. Demming: I think that I would rather live in the rottenest pigsty in Tennessee or Alabama than the fanciest mansion in all of Georgia. How about that? No Time for Sergeants contributed by Rappin’ Ronnie Reagan
Hawaii Sheriff: You folks are from Hawaii and you came to L.A. on your honeymoon? Herschel: Yeah. One day we just got sick of living in paradise. Quick contributed by Coccinelle
Idaho Chris: Could you just drop us off at a mall or something? Joe Gipp: A mall? Where do you think we are Boise, Idaho? Adventures in Babysitting contributed by Rohan
Illinois Elwood: Illinois Nazis... Jake: I hate Illinois Nazis. Blues Brothers
Iowa Shoeless Joe: Is this heaven? Ray: No, it's Iowa. Field of Dreams contributed by vwiggen
Kansas Josey Wales: Yeah, well, I always heard there were three kinds of suns in Kansas: sunshine, sunflowers, and sons-of-bitches. Outlaw Josey Wales, The contributed by Farmgirl
Kentucky Cher: Josh and I just both fell in love with each other, and next happened... [shows a couple about to wed] Cher: AS IF. Besides I'm only 16 and this is California, not Kentucky. Clueless contributed by Beren One Hand
Louisiana Bill Brousard: This is Louisiana, chief! I mean, how do you know who your daddy is? Because your mama told you so? JFK contributed by vwiggin
Maine Kelly Scott: I don't do field and even if I did... Maine? I'm allergic to timber! Lake Placid contributed by Happy Camper (The whole .wav file is worth listening to.)
Maryland Ann Langhorne: Who are those tough looking men? Brett Langhorne: The big one leaning against the post is Luke Johnson. They say he is an outlaw. Ann Langhorne: Well, why isn't he in prison? Brett Langhorne: This isn't Maryland, honey. This is the frontier. The last two marshals that went after Johnson are dead. Frontier Pony Express contributed by rivka
Massachusetts Dr. Henry Devlin: [Begins talking into the gun like it's a phone] Hello? Jonesy. Jesus Christ, I knew it was you. Where's he taking you? Massachusetts. He is? Duddits, OK... Jonesy, I will. You hang in there. Jonesy? Jonesy. He hung up... Captain Owen Underhill: Give me back my gun. Dreamcatcher
Michigan Joe: What are you worried about? This job is going to last a long time. Jerry: Suppose it doesn't? Joe: Jerry, boy, why do you have to paint everything so black? Jerry: Oh, please. Joe: Suppose you got hit by a truck. Suppose the stock market crashes. Suppose Mary Pickford divorces Douglas Fairbanks. Suppose the Dodgers leave Brooklyn! [Jerry notices the badge of an undercover agent at a nearby table.] Jerry: Ah... Joe... Joe: Suppose Lake Michigan overflows. Jerry: Well don't look now, but the whole town is underwater! Some Like It Hot contributed by rivka
Minnesota President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Here's the target area. Bob Vila: That's Minnesota, sir. President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Damn it, man, that's the genius of my plan. Why go over there to fight? We can do it right here at home. Bob Vila: Sir, the enemy is over there. President Thomas 'Tug' Benson: Then we'll fly them over here. Their families too. We'll teach them to skate... Do I have to think of everything? Hot Shots! Part Deux contributed by rivka
Mississippi Delmar O'Donnell: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed. Ulysses Everett McGill: That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed. O Brother, Where Art Thou? contributed by rivka
Missouri Mayor: There's a saying in Missouri, if you don't like the weather just wait five minutes. In Blaine, with hard work, I think we can get that down to three or four minutes. Waiting for Guffman contributed by Coccinelle
Montana Vasili Borodin: Then I will live in Montana, and I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck, or a possibly even a recreational vehicle, and drive from state to state. Do they let you do that? The Hunt for Red October contributed by Happy Camper
Nebraska Little Bill Daggett: I heard that one myself, Bob. Hell, I even thought I was dead 'til I found out it was just that I was in Nebraska. Unforgiven contributed by Coccinelle
Nevada Geary: The Corleone family has done very well here in Nevada. The Godfather, Part II contributed by Beren One Hand
New Hampshire Adrian Cronauer: You know, you're very beautiful. You're also very quiet. And I'm not used to girls being that quiet unless they're medicated. Normally I go out with girls who talk so much you could hook them up to a wind turbine and they could power a small New Hampshire town. Good Morning, Vietnam contributed by rivka
New Jersey Banky: Well, *you're* in love. And you've both got your own monkey. What more could two guys from New Jersey want? Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back contributed by ClaudiaTherese
New Mexico Ed Furillo: The three of us, New Mexico. We're going to drive cattle. Mitch Robbins: What, like in a truck? City Slickers contributed by rivka
New York Sam Burns: You're a very rude young woman. I know Douglas from the Rotary and I can't believe he'd want you treating customers so badly. Checkout Girl: I don't think I was treating her badly. Sam Burns: Then you must be from New York. Terms of Endearment contributed by ClaudiaTherese
North Carolina Michael Jordan: Don't forget my North Carolina shorts. Daffy Duck: (With lisp) Your shorts? From college? Michael Jordan: I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game. Space Jam contributed by rivka
North Dakota Lil: Let me guess: Piedmont, North Dakota. Violet: South Amboy, New Jersey. Lil: Same thing. Coyote Ugly contributed by Narnia
Ohio Jason "J.D." Dean: Yeah, but this is Ohio. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand, you might as well be wearing a dress. Heathers
Oklahoma Jerry Warriner: And if you get bored in Oklahoma City, you can always go over to Tulsa for the weekend! The Awful Truth contributed by rivka (Doubly funny because of the title of the movie.)
Oregon Barton Keyes: Have you made up your mind? Jackson: Mr. Keyes, I'm a Medford man. Medford, Oregon. Up in Medford, we take our time making up our minds. Barton Keyes: Well, we're not in Medford, we're in a hurry. Double Indemnity contributed by sndrake
Pennsylvania Jackie-O: Pennsylvania's just this state that's in your way when you want to get somewhere else. House of Yes, The contributed by katharina
Rhode Island Arthur: It's a very tiny country... Rhode Island could beat the crap out of it in a war. Arthur contributed by Happy Camper
South Carolina Private Joker: Paris Island, South Carolina. The Marine Corps Training Depot. An eight-week college for the stupid tough and the crazy brave. Full Metal Jacket contributed by rivka.
South Dakota Texas Jack Omohundro: You know what you're up against, American friend? The Ocean of Fire is not just a race. It's full of obstacles you can't even imagine. And if the elements don't kill you, your fellow riders will. Frank T. Hopkins: Sounds an awful lot like South Dakota. Hidalgo
Tennessee H.I. McDonnough: I couldn't believe that a woman who looked as fertile as the Tennessee River Valley could bear no children, but the doctor explained that her insides were a rocky place, where my seed could find no purchase. Raising Arizona contributed by my sweetie pie!
Texas Kathy Morningside: Of course, he has a gun. This is Texas. Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun. Miss Congeniality contributed by Coccinelle.
Utah Fletch: Sally Ann and Alan were married eight years ago, never divorced, making Stanwyck a bigamist, even in Utah. Fletch
Vermont [Abe and Abbie are discussing Abbie's mother.] Abe: A woman her age is supposed to move to Florida. Who moves to Vermont? Abbie: She likes the cold. Abe: She should -- she invented it. Memories of Me Contributed by rivka.
Virginia Sheryl Yoast: In Virginia, high school football is a way of life, it's bigger than Christmas day. My daddy coached in Alexandria, he worked so hard my momma left him, but I stayed with coach, he needed me on that field. Remember the Titans
Washington, D.C. Robert Leffingwell: Son, this is a Washington, D.C. kind of lie. It's when the other person knows you're lying and also knows you know he knows. Advise and Consent
West Virginia Hannibal Lecter: You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desperately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamp? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars... while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI. The Silence of the Lambs contributed by Happy Camper
Wisconsin Bethany: Were they sent to Hell? Metatron: Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history. Dogma contributed by rivka
Wyoming Mike: That's the place to be right there, Wyoming! Nothin' but prairies and mountains and nobody around. All you need is your bed roll and a good horse. Cyril: Don't forget your toothbrush! You're still in your cavity-prone years. Breaking Away contributed by Coccinelle
From Miss Congeniality : Kathy Morningside: Of course he had a gun. This is Texas! Everybody has a gun. My florist has a gun!
Posts: 862 | Registered: Oct 2003
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posted
All good, and the first three match my memories. As soon as I can provide links to demonstrate authenticity, I will add them to the list.
Unless better ones come along.
By the way, is the "even in Utah" quote about bigamy in Fletch considered offensive? This is a serious question - I'm not sure how much and in what manner the subject is joked about within Mormon circles. I've seen some on this board, but not enough to get a good feel for it.
posted
Dag, the bigamy quote isn't offensive to me...I think that Mormons would laugh. (I did.)
I tried to find a link to authenticate my quote and I couldn't....maybe I wasn't looking in the right places.
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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posted
OK - I'll let others chime in as well, but unless someone objects strenuously or puts up a better Utah quote, that's going in the list.
And I'll do the authentication (that's the mindless part I'll use for study breaks), although if anyone does go to a site to copy and paste the quote, throwing the link in would help.
Thanks guys, these are exactly the types of quotes I was looking for.
posted
Authenticated contributions from Narnia, Coccinelle, and vwiggen. I couldn't find confirmation on the quotes from either City Slickers or Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, but will continue looking.
posted
I'm holding off on Kansas just to see if there is anything else - that comment doesn't say much about Kansas except that munchkins don't live there. I suspect there's not much else except variations on WoO, though. Like "No. And you ain't in Kansas, neither!" in Little Shop of Horrors.
posted
I agree -- I laughed at the bigamy joke. But then again, I lauged at the Mormon in Paint Your Wagon that auctioned off one of his wives.
Posts: 16551 | Registered: Feb 2003
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There are a whole bunch in the film version of 1776, and several just in the single song ("Mr. Adams," or something like that) sung by the delegates assigned to the drafting committee.
Like: "Mr Adams, but, Mr. Adams I cannot write with any style or proper etiquette. I do not know a participle from a predicate. I am just a simple cobbler from Connecticut."
Posts: 1652 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
CT, I agree, great quote. Especially since it kicks off the most over-the-top chase scene in movie history. You think they got a good deal on used Buicks or something?
quote: "I know I could interest them in a story about an eccentric billionaire with an obsessive interest in a Kansas farm boy." - Chloe to Lionel
Unfortunately, that's from the TV show Smallville, and I need a movie. But I know there was a reference to Kansas in Superman, because that was the supposed site of the small farm town where he grew up.
quote: Chief Dan George (Lone Watie): I didn't surrender, but they took my horse and made him surrender. They have him pulling a wagon up in Kansas I bet.
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Charlie: Easy, sport. Got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey. Mitch Henessey: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact.
-The Long Kiss Goodnight
[ April 19, 2004, 01:53 PM: Message edited by: Book ]
Posts: 2258 | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Farmgirl, I'll hold off on Kansas until you find a good one or admit defeat.
Oooh - competition for New Jersey from Book. We're gonna need input from the peanut gallery to see if it supplants Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back. But for now, CT's quote is in the list, mainly because I finished editing it 2 seconds before Book posted.
posted
"This is Louisiana, chief! I mean, how do you know who your daddy is? Because your mama told you so?" -Broussard, in JFK.
"She had the personality of a ZIP code in Kansas." -Steve Martin, in Bowlfinger.
The rest of these aren't really submissions since these states have been covered already, but they're neat quotes.
"We're the flying elvises, Utah chapter." -Honeymoon in Vegas
"My beautiful wife, Julie, is from New Jersey 15 electoral votes... and is, as you know, half Jewish. So we'll take Florida's 25 electoral votes and divide by 2. My daughter, Jeanie, is expecting her first child. If it's a girl, she will be named Virginia. 13 electoral votes. In fact, even if it's a boy, he'll be named Virginia. She reminds me that I have publicly acknowledged that as a young Marine officer in Vietnam, I did, on a handful of occasions, smoke marijuana. [pause] California. 54 electoral votes."
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I seek Arizona, and lo! I am led to the generous hills of Utah. (A corollary, Dag, not a challenge.)
H.I.: If not Arizona, then a land not too far away. Where all parents are strong and wise and capable. And all children are happy and beloved. I don't know. Maybe it was Utah. -- Raising Arizona
posted
Yeah -- I saw that Steve Martin 'Kansas' quote too (about zip code), but it was worse than the Josey Wales one.... <sigh> Still searching for Superman..
Vasili Borodin: I will live in Montana. And I will marry a round American woman and raise rabbits, and she will cook them for me. And I will have a pickup truck... maybe even a "recreational vehicle."
-The Hunt for Red October
and West Virginia
You know what you look like to me, with your good bag and your cheap shoes? You look like a rube. A well scrubbed, hustling rube with a little taste. Good nutrition has given you some length of bone, but you're not more than one generation from poor white trash, are you, Agent Starling? And that accent you've tried so desparately to shed? Pure West Virginia. What's your father, dear? Is he a coal miner? Does he stink of the lamb? You know how quickly the boys found you... all those tedious sticky fumblings in the back seats of cars...while you could only dream of getting out... getting anywhere... getting all the way to the FBI.
posted
Googling got me a link to Amazon, which actually swipes its quotes from IMDB. Now I'm looking at some other stuff Google fetched.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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The other forum I frequent a lot is for Lois&Clark fanfic. Google just gave me a link to one of 'em . . .
Too bad TV is out. Lois referred to Clark as "Kansas" (as well as "farmboy" and related epithets) for much of the first season. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Kelly Scott: I don't do field and even if I did... Maine? I'm allergic to timber!
-Lake Placid (1999)
And I doubt you want to use this one, but it's from the Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear
Lt. Frank Drebin: Hector Savage. From Detroit. Ex-boxer. His real name was Joey Chicago. Ed Hocken: Oh, yeah. He fought under the name of 'Kid Minneapolis'. Nordberg: I saw 'Kid Minneapolis' fight once. In Cincinnati. Lt. Frank Drebin: No you're thinking of 'Kid New York'. He fought out of Philly. Ed Hocken: He was killed in the ring in Houston. By Tex Colorado. You know, the 'Arizona Assassin'. Nordberg: Yeah, from Dakota. I don't remember it was North or South. Lt. Frank Drebin: North. South Dakota was his brother. From West Virginia.
Sam Burns: You're a very rude young woman. I know Douglas from the Rotary and I can't believe he'd want you treating customers so badly. Checkout Girl: I don't think I was treating her badly. Sam Burns: Then you must be from New York.
posted
"Forrest Gump" has a line of dialogue that mentions several states that the members of his squad in Vietnam were from...all I remember is that it ended with, "...and Tex...don't recall where he was from."
Posts: 471 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Just realized wwiggin already posted this.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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However, I did find another contender (and one I like better) for California: ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
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The other forum I frequent a lot is for Lois&Clark fanfic. Google just gave me a link to one of 'em . . .![[Grumble]](graemlins/grumble.gif)
You're really not changing the California quote? ![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
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