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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » My 12 AM Call from God

   
Author Topic: My 12 AM Call from God
T_Smith
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I would have put this on the "Its sacrilicious" thread, but I don't think many people would believe me on this if I did. So, I decided to create a new thread, which fully explains what happened. I don't know if you all know this, but currently I am working at a call center for AOL. The following, of course, is part of a prank call.

At around Midnight, I got a call from God.

"Hello, thank you for calling America Online, my name is Nathan, are you calling to set up your free trial of America Online."

"Nope. I just have a..."

"Ok, once again my name is Nathan, can I have your name please?"

"I am the Almight God."

"Ok God, could you tell me a little about why you are calling?"

"I have come to get you to repent." (you think God would have a better sentence)

"Ok, could you tell me a little more about that problem." (since this is part of the script, and I didn't really want to hang up just yet, I thought it appropriate)

"Well... Nathan, did you say?"

"Yep"

"Nathan! You have commited adultry and other deadly sins!"

"Really now?"

"YES!"

"Well, God, if I promise to repent, can I set you up with a 2 month free trial?"

"No thanks, I'm not interested in AOL."

God enjoys calling up AOL to bring souls unto Him, but he just isn't interested in a 2 month free trial. And in any case, he already had an account. God's AOL screen name involves the word young, a misspelling of love and a number.
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saxon75
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Maybe He's just upset because you only get 1080 hours in which to use up your 1045 free hours.
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Caleb Varns
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"I'm afraid I'll have to transfer you to our complaints department."
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twinky
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Every post in this thread is comedy gold. [Big Grin]

You should have asked him if he wanted to be put through to Lucifer. We all know Lucifer works with AOL [Wink]
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Lucifer Morningstar
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He is always signing up for the free trials and then cancelling before He has to pay me.

:: shakes fist::

One day You'll pay!
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T_Smith
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I suppose I got off lucky. The girl next to me, after we clocked out, complain of a guy who called up saying "Oh... your voice is so... sexy... oh... I'm stroking it... oh... oh.."

Although, I could have had fun with that one, I think.
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katharina
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By telling him about the...?
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Caleb Varns
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By putting him through to a conference call with God, of course.
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zgator
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If he was God, why did he have to ask about your name?
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Maethoriell
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[ROFL]
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EllenM
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800 numbers staffed through the night are irresistible to broke perverts and lonely prophets [Smile]

[ August 04, 2003, 02:15 PM: Message edited by: EllenM ]
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Feyd Baron
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And here I thought he was calling you about flipping so many people off lately. Or at least flipping a few people off many times...

Feyd Baron, DoC
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Dan_raven
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Well, since the merger to Time/Warner, AOL has been spreading a bit of Hell everywhere.
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Ryuko
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God is here to teach us all a lesson. Obviously we were ignorant of the fact that not only is Nathan married, he's cheating on his wife!!

Shame on you, T...
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Dagonee
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I felt like bumping an old thread, because I've never done it before. So I chose this one.

Does Mack know about this, Nathan?

Dagonee
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Erik Slaine
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*nostalgia*
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Dagonee
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For me, it's ancient history, not nostalgia. [Smile]
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Anti-Christ
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For ME, everything is ancient history. [Wink] [Evil]

Not to mention He often prank calls in the middle of the night... ~_~

[ July 10, 2004, 01:43 AM: Message edited by: Anti-Christ ]
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Ryuko
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Heh. I killed this thread. (memories)
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Corwin
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Ryuko, not trying to do it again, are you ? [Razz]
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Ryuko
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Meh. It might happen. (shifty)
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TMedina
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Bah, it wasn't even creative.

You expect people manning AOL call centers to be used to much worse.

-Trevor
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Dagonee
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"Now if it had been collect, that would have been funny."

[ July 10, 2004, 10:42 AM: Message edited by: Dagonee ]
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PSI Teleport
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Did "God" know about the goatee?
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Anthro
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I think that may have been me.

Tell me, did the guy who called have a really sexy voice?
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