Sorry I got here so late. I am very sorry for you. But I feel compelled to tell you that we have way too much in common to be coincidence. I too have a golden retriever pup after my first one was put asleep way too early her life due to cancer.
I cried. The vet that put her down took one look at me and started crying too. I truly love that man, BTW. But I can feel a part of the pain you are going through and it is so hard.
I hate to muddy personal experiences with comparisons, but it ended up that after 2 years I suprised my 5 year old son with a new golden pup on his birthday. It was a hard decision to make. But when you are at peace with the loss of Bud, in time, revisit the decision to get another dog. I hope that if you do, that you are rewarded as much the second time as the first. Sure the dogs will be different, my two were like opposites even though they were the same breed, but they were and are equally rewarding in their own way.
As for the non-involvement of your parents, I can only say this. My wife went through her parents' nasty divorce. Her brother still does not speak to either parent after 10 years. Her dad was recently diagnosed with a terminal disease, and he has had a reawakening of sorts. She discovered that after all the bad that had happened between her and her father and between her father and mother that her dad did actually love her underneath all the pain and suffering. I guess in his own way, to avoid her all those years was easier than facing the pain of reconciliation. But with his hastened departure from this world, he had felt compelled to do right, and I admire him for that.
But it was not always rainbows and sunshine.
I am not a deeply religious man in that I do not pray regularly or devoutly, but when I do pray, I am as earnest and sincere as I was as a 7 year old kid during my First Communion. I hope and will pray that your situation improves. I have a feeling that it will, and I hope it comes soon. From what I have shared with you, it sounds like you are long-overdue for some good things to come your way...
Hang in there, we will be here when you need to get something out of your system.
I wouldn't trade my moments of fun with my first dog for anything in the world. She lived to be 17 and it still hurts (6 years later). But the sadness is better than never having had a pet like her (or your Buddy). What a great thing, to have that unconditional love and try to be worthy of it.
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
