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Is Ender a Mormon? If not will he burn forever more? If so will a bunch of murders mean he is to burn forever more? Posts: 1 | Registered: Sep 2003
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As the post above has become an object of religious pilgrimage, I have resolved to set up shop closest to it and offer cheap figurines, lockets, and velvet paintings commemorating your visit to this thread. For $9.95, for example, you can purchase a tasteful keychain depicting a stylized Ender twisted inside beaten copper "flames;" $14.95 gets you the version with the mother-of-pearl seagull, embossed with a single reverent question mark.
Rest assured that I hold this thread in the highest respect.
posted
I can't say as I'm interested in anything that I see--it always seems to me that religion plus merchandizing equals Capitalist Cult. Having said that, Tom, can you validate my parking?
Posts: 1307 | Registered: May 2000
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**Trogdor the Burninator, ageless keeper of the Ender Burning thread, has kept silent vigil of this thread for close to 500 years. **
**Strangely, he hears sounds close to him. He cracks his stone encrusted eyes open to see those defiling the sacred shrine that is the Ender Burning thread.**
**Turning his head, he regards Tom Davidson, Caleb, Chade and other assorted peasants, buying trinkets and other merchandise at this holy site.**
**Soon, Trogdor's rage turned to white hot fury. **
And then, he laid them all to burnination.
Posts: 1481 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
There's porn now? That wasn't there before. I'll have to pick some up as a souvenir for my roommmate.
Posts: 155 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Don't look at me. I'm just trying to get my parking validated so I can get out of here before the Spankmistress and her High Bumpers/Bumbperesses can sick the Burning Ender inquisition on me.
I am a little interested in that shop across the way, though... seems more like a religion that you could really get your hands on.
Posts: 1307 | Registered: May 2000
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Of course he's going to burn in hell for all eternity. He's not a Mormon. As any good Mormon knows full well, those who do not follow the Mormon faith are damned to hell forever. What I don't understand is, how can Card write so many books praising these fictional characters that he think would burn in hell, were they real? The only way he could think otherwise is if he weren't really a Mormon, but we all know he is.
What a dilemma! Posts: 10 | Registered: Aug 2002
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just as my fellow priestess has done, i wash my hands of all of you.
i cannot be held responsible for the calamitiy that shall surely follow. may ender have mercy on us all.
Posts: 3936 | Registered: Jul 2000
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Yay! I found it. This goes along with Eriks "You have not been elected high bumper" thread that he bumped. It's not funny unless you read this, the companion thread.
quote: virgin sacrifices help with the corn harvest.
I find it interesting none of the virgins worried about being sacrificed didn't take the quick way out.
Posts: 550 | Registered: Jan 2004
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Now all this thread needs is a Curves For Women. Since I started paying attention, I haven't been in a town with a population over 1,000 that didn't have one.
Posts: 1903 | Registered: Sep 2003
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Ralphie would be so proud of us for keeping this piece of history on the front page, building no less than 4 Starbucks, a Curves for Women, a 7-11...
And a Carl's Junior. (Hey. You gotta have BURGERS!!)
quote:Now all this thread needs is a Curves For Women. Since I started paying attention, I haven't been in a town with a population over 1,000 that didn't have one.
I don't think we have one of those in Prescott either, but I'm really not in a position to know.
Posts: 2292 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Since I wasn't on hatrack back for this original post and have only the vaguest sense of what this is about, there's only one thing I can do. Declare the whole thing "retro" and try to cash in on the nostalgia of others.
I'll be hosting "I Love The Ender Burning??? Thread" on VH1 this weekend. Be sure to tune in.
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After the VH1 special on "Ender Burning???" we'll start a thread for discussion of the VH1 special. Then I'll be back on VH1 next month with a retrospective on the hatrack thread about the VH1 special about the Ender Burning??? thread, co-hosted by whatever teen starlet or popsinger just barely stopped being popular at the time.
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The good new is that Mormons don't believe in a burning hell. The bad news is that if you want to be left alone in hell, the Mormons will come and visit you anyway.
Posts: 2207 | Registered: Oct 2003
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We really do need our own VH1 show. It'll be called "When _______ ruled Hatrack."
