My lady companion and I are attending the theatre next week, and since it's opening night, I planned on wearing my kilt. My lady companion does not have an evening dress.
Being simple people, we went to the mall, Macy's and JC Penney, and found a very tiny selection. Most of them were not aesthetically pleasing at all, and of the ones that were, most of them could not be worn by a woman who considered modesty an important virtue.
Time and again I'd say "how about that one?" and she would reply, "that's not enough dress."
(Being inexperienced in picking out womens' clothes, it takes me quite a long time to analyze a garment. I wasn't selecting low-cut or high-slit stuff on purpose.)
Actually, none of them were what we considered modest; two straps the size of strands of vermicelli do not do a sufficient job covering the upper body. It is assumed she would wear some additional shawl or sweater-jacket or whatever you call those things women wear to cover up where the dress leaves off.
Even with that assumption though, we found a total of three dresses. One I liked and she didn't, one neither of us liked, and one we both liked but was covered in glitter destined to contaminate my vehicle for eternity (friend of mine still has glitter in his back seat from a dress of hers two years ago).
So, is there anyone more familiar in the ways of female styles than we are (she *hates* shopping, and so we have exhausted her dress finding skills already) who could help? Where does one go to find a nice evening dress?
We live near San Francisco. If anyone knows of anything nearby, or of any chain stores we can try, or has any comments on the unfindability of modest apparel, please post.
I can understand the frustration (even without owning an evening dress) of trying to find modest but nice apparel. It sounds like you have the right idea with a shawl or shrug (those little jacket things). Does she (or any of her really good friends) sew? Although there isn't a lot of time, there is probably enough time to make a simple dress. It may be possible to modify a store-bought dress. Don't automatically dismiss dresses with high slits. Depending on the construction of the dress (meaning that the cut of the fabric wouldn't be restrictive), it is quite easy to sew up (well, actually down) a slit. I have done it quite a few times (since I have fairly long legs, slits can often be higher than I'd like). Or, she could try combining separates pieces - a satin skirt with a nice blouse... You may try also looking at a bridal shop (they often have attendant gowns).
Look for something with a high neck and a long skirt. I tend to look better with high necklines, and I know how difficult they can be to find. Long skirts are much easier. It's starting to be fall, so hopefully the more "covered-up" fashions will be coming in soon. Good luck!
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
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I know many verses to THAT song. I wear only modest clothing, per my religious views. That translates to skirts past the knee (and no slits that go up, as my mother would say "to the pippik"); neckline above the collarbone, and sleeves past the elbow.
This tends to be challenging; some style-years more than others.
I find the majority of my clothes via catalogs (many of which are now online). It's not so much that their offerings are significantly more modest. It's that there are more options; and SOME of them meet my criteria.
But one week and catalogs are mutually incompatible, generally.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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The second link is currently working on getting their Fall line to their Web site, so there's nothing to be seen.
www.ldsbride.com also has some formalwear, but it's on this hideous page that makes me think every dress looks ugly, even though some of them are quite pretty.
Keep in mind, these dresses are very modest. They have sleeves, modest necklines, high backs, and long skirts. They can also be a little expensive, but I guess if you're buying a formal dress, what do you expect?
Posts: 537 | Registered: Jul 2001
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I'm not sure what your budget is, but if you're looking for modest formal dresses, avoid JC Penny's and Macy's like the plague -- instead, check out more upscale chains like Nordstrom's and Lord & Taylor. You might find more of what you're looking for.
Posts: 1784 | Registered: Jun 2001
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If you don't have time for ordering online, or she doesn't want to purchase without being able to try the garment on, you might look for a Robinsons May, which you should be able to find in a good mall. I don't know for sure that they have them in SF, but they do have them in San Diego (I was in one last month). (This is the same store as Foleys. Same merchandise, same ads, same sales.) I have found these two stores to be the best shopping selection of women's clothing, simply based on the size of the departments. In some locations, they actually have two stores...the women's stuff, and another for everything else. Many department stores have nearly no dress selection, but these stores have quite a large department of dresses, including a section for more formal attire. I have picked up a couple of dresses and skirts at Foleys, and they have excellent sales. Again, I can't guarantee the modesty of everything, as that wasn't something I was looking for. But I did pick up a simple "little black dress" a few months ago, very well made, short (but after losing 100 lbs, I _wanted_ short), with tank straps and a neckline well above my cleavage. It isn't "really" short, but it does come to just above the knee. The original price was about $90, and I picked it up for $30. Not a bad bargain. (I've also picked up a number of great skirts at Foleys, the kind that drop right down to the top of my feet.) The quality is good for the money.
Of course, I _still_ haven't had a chance to wear the lbd.
Before we can help you select a dress for her, you need to describe what she looks like more. Is she tall or short? What kind of body type? What color skin and hair? Etc. A dress that looks fantastic on one woman might look terrible on another.
If you're in San Francisco, you might want to try some of the vintage boutiques. Sometimes there is some beautiful, retro apparel there. Classics always work.
Posts: 2848 | Registered: Feb 2003
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If your date is at all petite, consider a consignment shop; retro dresses tend to be both modest AND better-fitting for small women.
(As a side note, though, I must admit that I find it distressing that people are actually HELPING someone find more "modest" formal wear. I would normally dedicate my life to opposing this trend, if the trend weren't already heading in the other direction. *grin*)
quote: 5'7" Very fair skin Really red hair, uncut Lots o' freckles Brown eyes Killer smile And much much more!
Please excuse the awkward question, but what's her body like? Is she slim or heavy, large-busted or small, wide-hipped or narrow? How long is her hair (what part of her body does it reach)? What is the shape of her face?
Her coloring is Autum. Therefore, she should look for clothing in one or more of the following colors:
Oyster White: Your best white is oyster (beigish white). You may also wear ivory (a yellowish white) and the soft white from the Summer palette, but never pure white. It will make you look pale.
(Black and Gray): You have no black and gray, so you'll need to use dark charcoal brown as your black or charcoal gray and coffee brown as your gray. Coffee is any brown that has gray added.
Brown and Beige: All your beiges and browns are warm earth tones. Your dark chocolate brown and mahogany are rich colors. Camels, khakis, and tans are also good for you. Your bronze is an unusual color, flattering to an Autumn only.
Blue: A marine navy is the only navy that truly flatters the Autumn man. It is a navy tinged with teal or the color of the sea, and it's hard to find. You can wear any kind of teal blue, though the darker and richer the color, the better. Your turquoise is medium to dark and has warm yellow undertones. By comparing turquoises in the store, you can see that some are clear and bright (not for you), while others are yellower and slightly muted --- again a full-bodied color. Periwinkle is a blue with a violet cast. In general, you look best in a deep periwinkle.
Green: Your greens range from dark forest green to olive, jade, and grayed greens. You can wear any green that has a golden tone, from subtle to bright. A light, grayed green is excellent.
Gold and Yellow: Your golden-colors are plentiful. Choose gold in a quality fabric or this color may have an inexpensive look. You can wear any shade of gold, from light buff to mustard to a bright yellow-gold.
Orange: Your oranges include terra-cotta and rust colors, which are easy to find in all types of clothing. Your pumpkin and bright oranges are sport colors, good in prints or in solids for the less conservative.
Peach and Salmon: Your best peach, apricot, and salmon shades are deep. Use the light versions mixed with darker or brighter colors to add oomph. Salmon is your version of pink.
Red: You may wear any red with an orange base, ranging from bright orange-red to bitterwsweet and dark tomato (more muted shades). Your reds may get brownish, resembling maroon. Avoid burgundy, as it is too "blue" and harsh for you, thus bringing out any lines in your face.
This is from Color for Men, by Carole Jackson, but flattering colors for men are the same as for women. Only the types of clothes differ. Jeff
Posts: 1692 | Registered: May 2001
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"Color for Men" is by the same author as "Color Me Beautiful" except, of course, that it's for men. Obviously, the reason I bought the one and not the other is because I myself am a man.
Yes, she's clearly an autumn. But we still have to get an idea of her body type before suggesting a dress style. I'm a big fan of the sheath dress, for instance, but it would look awful on a full-figured woman.
Jeff, as much as I respect Al Franken, I don't usually rely on him for guidance or technique. But I appreciate the advice, and will certainly consider making a Mad Magazine-style parody of the Book of Matthew featuring a kilt-clad Turin being persecuted by the Jews; rest assured, it will be as funny and tasteful as Franken's own "parodies" of that sort.
Quick question: who do you think made more on comedy in the last couple of years, you or Al Franken? Given the choice, that person is the one whose advice on comedy I'll take.
BTW, what he calls "joking on the square" doesn't refer to actual humor. He refers to saying something that you really mean as if it were a joke. For instance, if I said, "You're really not a very nice guy, Tom. Just kidding! ", that would be "joking on the square".
You're missing the point. Franken's saying it's not comedy: just a pussilanimous way of saything something you really believe without having to take the flak for it. ("Hey, I was just joking! Lighten up!")
You're right, I was not getting it. Now that you've explained it I do.
So, um, then what leads you to believe Tom was doing this? Given that Tom almost certainly doesn't know Túrin or his lady friend, what is it that you believe Tom was only pretending to joke about? It seems quite clearly to be a joke to me, and a pretty innocuous one at that.
If he was such a bastard, why did he try to help Túrin in his post?
Could it be that the disagreements that you two have had in the past have led you to automatically jump to the conclusion that he's being a jerk pretty much no matter what he says?