"Pokemon Prove Evolutionism Is False" - Paul Sanborn (grade 4)
Middle School Level
2nd Place: "Women Were Designed For Homemaking"
Jonathan Goode (grade 7) applied findings from many fields of science to support his conclusion that God designed women for homemaking: physics shows that women have a lower center of gravity than men, making them more suited to carrying groceries and laundry baskets; biology shows that women were designed to carry un-born babies in their wombs and to feed born babies milk, making them the natural choice for child rearing; social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay; and exegetics shows that God created Eve as a companion for Adam, not as a co-worker.
I'm sorry, but this is one of the most frustrating things I have ever seen. To REWARD a child for justifying discrimination through BLATANT FALSEHOOD is not a religious right. GAH this makes me want to scream. I'm so glad no one here tried to do a project about gays, or black people. Obviously both of THOSE kinds of people are on the same level as animals (perhaps gays or blacks would eat the banana offered by the young child to her Uncle Steve.)
quote: social sciences show that the wages for women workers are lower than for normal workers, meaning that they are unable to work as well and thus earn equal pay;
This really isn't funny. I'm laughing to hide the pain.
Posts: 264 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
The thing that irritates me is that I actually believe in creationism, and these "experiments" don't even convince me. What if you offer a banana to a monkey, but it doesn't want it? Have you proved it isn't a monkey? The junk in the jar of water just made me mad. They really need to consider the fact that they're not teaching these kids to believe in creationism, they are teaching them to be morons.
Posts: 264 | Registered: Jan 2002
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quote: 1st Place: "My Uncle Is A Man Named Steve (Not A Monkey)"
Cassidy Turnbull (grade 5) presented her uncle, Steve. She also showed photographs of monkeys and invited fairgoers to note the differences between her uncle and the monkeys. She tried to feed her uncle bananas, but he declined to eat them. Cassidy has conclusively shown that her uncle is no monkey.
quote:1st Place: "Using Prayer To Microevolve Latent Antibiotic Resistance In Bacteria" Eileen Hyde and Lynda Morgan (grades 10 & 11) did a project showing how the power of prayer can unlock the latent genes in bacteria, allowing them to microevolve antibiotic resistance. Escherichia coli bacteria cultured in agar filled petri dishes were subjected to the antibiotics tetracycline and chlorotetracycline. The bacteria cultures were divided into two groups, one group (A) received prayer while the other (B) didn't. The prayer was as follows: "Dear Lord, please allow the bacteria in Group A to unlock the antibiotic-resistant genes that You saw fit to give them at the time of Creation. Amen." The process was repeated for five generations, with the prayer being given at the start of each generation. In the end, Group A was significantly more resistant than Group B to both antibiotics.
See, now I don't know why Rush had to be hitting his sources up for illegally-prescribed OxyContin -- all this time he could have just been praying for his Advil liqui-gels to be superboosted.
Posts: 3423 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Well, it's not truly a blind comparison. There may have been bias in how they treated the two groups. But what I'd really like to know is what "significantly more resistant" means in this case.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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quote:High School Division...2nd Place: "Maximal Packing Of Rodentia Kinds: A Feasibility Study" Jason Spinter's (grade 12) project was to show the feasibility of Noah's Ark using a Rodentia research model (made of a mixture of hamsters and gerbils) as a representative of diluvian life forms. The Rodentia were placed in a cage with dimensions proportional to a section of the Ark. The number of Rodentia used (58) was calculated using available Creation Science research and was based on the median animal size and their volumetric distribution in the Ark. The cage was also fitted with wooden dowls inserted at regular intervals through the cage walls, forming platforms which provided support for the Rodentia. Although there was little room left in the cage, all Rodentia were able to move just enough to ward off muscle atrophy. Food pellets and water were delivered to sub-surface Rodentia via plastic drinking straws inserted into the Rodentia-mass, which also served to allow internal air flow. Once a day, the cage was sprayed with water to cleanse any built-up waste. Additionally, the cage was suspended on bungie cords to simulate the rocking motion of a ship. The study lasted 30 days and 30 nights, with all Rodentia surviving at least long enough afterwards to allow for reproduction. These findings strongly suggest that Noah's Ark could hold and support representatives of all antediluvian animal kinds for the duration of the Flood and subsequent repopulation of the Earth.
Umm... if antediluvian life forms consisted of mainly rodents and rodent-sized animals...how is it that Abel was a shepherd? Oh, and were we looking at basically MAN and a bunch of rodents as the mammalian life forms? Um, what about non-mammals? And how exactly did we get from that situation to the variety of life forms we have today (a scant few thousand years later)?
On another note, if a bona fide researcher attempted an experiment like this in an accredited animal research facility, there's a pretty good chance the vivarium would be decertified for inadequate care. Over-crowding experiments with rodents have been done over the years, so it's possible something like that COULD be justified...but spraying the cage with water? Sticking food into the "center of the rodent mass.." and so on. This sounds like something more than a little cruel.
The bungee cords were a creative touch though.
I'm betting this set up was WAYYYY out back on somebody's 100 acre farm.
posted
No, don't worry, that bacteria experiment is a complete load of crap as well.
Mind you, I find most efforts to scientifically support creationism somewhat flawed. Of course, I'm completely biased in my interpretation of their results.
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
This makes me think "joke city." Read some of the other articles on the site.
"Secular Consumerism tries to fill the hole in Man's Heart with DVD players and expensive jewelry. Well, dear reader, that hole in your Heart isn't DVD-player-shaped; that hole was made to accept the key of our Lord's Love that your Heart may be opened to Salvation."
posted
It's a joke - follow the "Have you accepted Christ yet?" link on the left.
quote:June 4, 2003 -- We have moved again. While closely rereading the Statement of Faith of our previous webhost, Cross Spot, we made the sad discovery that they are not firm enough in their opposition to the erroneous doctrine of triclavianism.
posted
I don't know. It links to a lot of sites that are 'proper' evangelical sites. The Christian kitsch products for Halloween (it's no longer the season of witches and demons -- it's been reclaimed for Christ as a time for witnessing) are not anything out of the ordinary from the other Christian products out there. And there's something just too painfully earnest about it for it to be the work of some hip young agnostics (or whatever).
I say it's legit (in terms of it is what it is representing itself to be).
Posts: 3423 | Registered: Aug 2001
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posted
Dr. Richard Paley - on the left - is purported to work at Fellowship University, which I can't establish actually exists. I googled his name, and it's mostly blogs and discussions of him, but the people don't seem to know if he's real or not.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
"J.C. Penny - The J.C. makes us think of Jesus Christ, thus associating our Lord with the lowest monetary value, the penny (even Judas valued Him at 30 pieces of silver!)."
That just can't be real.
Please, tell me this can't be real!
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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quote: 1st Place: "Life Doesn't Come From Non-Life"
Patricia Lewis (grade 8) did an experiment to see if life can evolve from non-life. Patricia placed all the non-living ingredients of life - carbon (a charcoal briquet), purified water, and assorted minerals (a multi-vitamin) - into a sealed glass jar. The jar was left undisturbed, being exposed only to sunlight, for three weeks. (Patricia also prayed to God not to do anything miraculous during the course of the experiment, so as not to disqualify the findings.) No life evolved. This shows that life cannot come from non-life through natural processes.
So if Patricia had prayed for God to perform a miracle and there still wasn't a dancing squirrel in the jar after 3 weeks, does that prove that life doesn't come from God either? Posts: 2804 | Registered: May 2003
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quote:Dr. Troy Franklin, OBJECTIVE occult expert, has brought to our attention a disturbing new danger to weak-spirited Christians and unsaved persons that we feel needs to be reported.
As he tells it, while out at a local supermarket shopping for food for his cat, Dr. Franklin noticed one of those small tents advertising "Free Rock Chip Repair" that have been springing up in our nation's parking lots. Curious, he went to enquire about getting a ding in his windshield sealed, only to learn that the person manning the tent had other intentions, namely to try and recruit Dr. Franklin into a cult!
Fortunately, the good doctor has become quite immune to cultic recruiting ploys from his years studying their tactics, and thus he was able to extricate himself from the situation with his soul unharmed. However, those less skilled in their Faith -- and especially those of false faiths or no faith at all -- would have soon found themselves back at the cult headquarters doing all manner of unspeakable rites and blasphemies... or maybe even brainwashed into manning a tent of their own.
For the safety of your soul, do not be tempted by the lure of impulse rock chip repair from strangers in parking lots. It may say free, but it could cost you your soul! If you need your windshield fixed, go to a qualified Christian repair shop.
This is good stuff.
Posts: 9945 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
OK, it is a spoof, but for whom? Is it to lure Christians in, or to lure people who make fun of creationists, or is it just poking fun at Christians, or what?
And who has TIME to do this?
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
Sadly, it's not unusual for creation "scientists" to have credentials from/work at nonexistent institutions, so that doesn't speak much to the authenticity of that site.
Posts: 15770 | Registered: Dec 2001
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posted
This is what you get when you ask to email them:
PLEASE NOTE: "If you send an e-mail submission to this site, you are certifying that you are 18 years or older and you are granting The Landover Baptist Parody Website a worldwide, royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable, non-exclusive and fully sublicensable right and license to use, reproduce, modify, adapt, publish, translate, create derivative works from, distribute, perform and display your submission (in whole or part including your personal e-mail address) and/or to incorporate it in other works in any form, media, or technology now known or later developed."
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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posted
Can't tell if it is real? That reminds me of a lot of what I hear from the far right. There some truth in it, but are they really serious? I mean, can they possibly believe what they are saying?
If it is a serious story, then I agree with
Then again, we seem perfectly willing to overlook astrology, which many people believe in.
Of course astrology has not attacked science in the public schools recently.
Just a few random thoughts.
Posts: 201 | Registered: Oct 2001
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posted
Landover Baptist has been around for a while. I've even posted a few things from them here. Landover Baptist is, no doubt about it, a parody site.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote:This is also the first year that Muslim students from the Al-Jannah Islamic school have been invited to participate; two of their students presented a project on human anatomy entitled "Allah (SWT) Created Me" which, while it was found ineligible for a prize due to a number of Biblical inconsistencies, did win a special Interfaith Outreach ribbon.
posted
Wow, I didn't think Hatrackers were so far behind the times. This site has already made the rounds of the net. Yeah, it's a parody.
Posts: 1515 | Registered: Feb 2002
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