The title refers to the story Teacher's Pest in First Meetings, but I'll try to make the question general so I don't give too much away.
Basically, I'm wondering how much someone's appearance affects other peoples' interpretations of their actions?
For example, what about bold attempts to be romantic? If a good looking guy meets a girl and then almost immediately afterward does things to romance her (send flowers, buy presents, or even just compliment how she looks) its more likely to be seen as romantic than if an unattractive guy (I won't say ugly) does the same thing.
Of course, I'm not saying this happens in every occurence. But I've seen it happen. The simplest example I know is when I've heard a woman say something to the effect of "What? He likes me? Ewwwww!" And I'm not being gender biased, because I've seen men do the same thing to unattractive women.
So why do we do this? Maybe I'm just special, but if someone shows interest in me I'm always flattered. Sure, I may not find the person who likes me attractive, but I'm not disgusted by the fact that someone I don't find visually appealing likes me.
I think Chris Rock put it best when he touched on the Clarence Thomas sexual harassment case of a few years back:
"If Clarence Thomas looked like Denzel Washington, none of this would have happened!...What is sexual harassment, when an ugly guy wants some?"
**HERE COMES THE SPOILER PART**
So, my main point: If Theresa hadn't found John Paul cute, would she still have liked him or would she have called security and had him hauled off? Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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posted
Hmm---this seems to be somewhat related to the topic I just posted 5 minutes ago.
I guess it would depend on the person. Like me, I don't go "SEXUAL HARRASSMENT!" if an "ugly" guy asks me out or hits on me. Depending on the nature of the approach, I will either tell him to buzz off, or politely say no, or pretend I didn't notice I was being hit on.
I even do this with "cute" guys.
If I'm not interested, I'm not interested. If I don't feel that spark or connection when I meet someone--it ain't gonna happen.
Posts: 463 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Well, I used Chris Rock's extreme comment just to point out what I was talking about. I don't mean to say that it's that extreme.
Posts: 3852 | Registered: Feb 2002
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I wasn't really saying that---i guess some women go to extremes...
The thought comes to mind of a girl (and even though she is 23 I am calling her a girl b/c she acts as such), that works in produce (i work in the deli of a grocery store). She accussed another worker, who was also shop steward for their union and had a wife that worked in the floral department, of sexual harrassment. He was fired.
I had worked there about a year when this happend. I think she was lying to get attention. She's a loudmouth you-know-what. His wife works there too--i don't really think he was that stupid.
What I'm thinking is she might have also had an affair with him, and when it went sour, decided to go superbi***. Anyway....
I think your argument has some merit. I think there is a lot of women who over use the sexual harrassment thing for spite.
Posts: 463 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Sorry -- every time I read this thread title, I think of the Pope, and wonder "Whaddya mean, what if?"
Posts: 6213 | Registered: May 2001
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It's always tricky to define sexual harrassment. What one person finds harrassment another finds acceptable. When I had a new hair-style my boss commented it looked nice... a co-worker found it offensive that my (male) boss commented on my looks in our work place, wheras I was completly comfortable with it. If no-one had noticed I would have been aking what's wrong with you people? What are you? blind? I've just had all my hair cut off!
Defination of goodlooking people is a bit strange too. My friends say this one is a hottie or that one is but...I don't always agree
Ummm what if you were hit on by someone of the same sex? And you wern't gay? Do you think that would be harrasment too? Do you think they should find out if you're gay before they hit on you? This happened to someone I know and he is not gay. He wanted to file a harrassment suit but I just couldn't see it myself but this person was furious and thought the onus was on the other person to find out if he was gay first. But the way I saw it.. he was just asked out a couple of times Posts: 141 | Registered: Sep 2002
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I would make sexual harassment starts with people touching you when you don't want to. That's really annoying and disturbing, I hate that.
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Anna, I agree. I'ved been on that end of being touched. Though, rather than threaten the touching party with sexual harrassment, I offered an abrubt removal of certain sensitive areas of the body if they didn't lay off (it's happened to me more than once, in different workplaces, with different guys).
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