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One I got this summer: "You're not nearly as bad as you were when I met you!" Um... thanks... I think. Posts: 981 | Registered: Aug 2003
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"you two could be sisters" is nearly always excessive to the mother (or brother!) and insulting to the girl.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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You can pretty much say anything you want to about anyone and get away with it, as long as you stick a "bless his heart" or "bless her heart" at the end.
"That boy is a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, bless his heart."
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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quote: You can pretty much say anything you want to about anyone and get away with it, as long as you stick a "bless his heart" or "bless her heart" at the end.
"That boy is a couple sandwiches short of a picnic, bless his heart."
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I am (unfortunately) very good at making mistaken comments like these, at which people are very offended, but I meant as a consoling or comforting comment.
I once told someone "It's okay, I can't act either." I didn't understand why she was so mad!
Now I just keep my clumsy mouth shut!
Posts: 8473 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Once---on a first date---the guy told me some people thought he was gay.
I said, without thinking, "Oh, yeah, I can see that."
(Open mouth, insert foot)
Granted, we ended up dating for a couple of months and are now good friends.
I think the best one I ever got was "Well, I don't think you're all that smart, but you got a really nice @$$, and that's why I like you." Posts: 463 | Registered: Oct 2003
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These do seem blatant but I love them anyway and they may not seem as obvious to the more...ditzy woman lol
"Aah, Miss Blane, you dance like a herd of cattle. You're truely an amazing woman. You light up a room simply by leaving it."
Posts: 51 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I KNEW it was a movie that I should have realized contained those words. *walks off feeling stupid*
Posts: 2207 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Abryne, that's probably why I was thinking it was a Jane Austen quote. I always thought Kate and Leopold was sort of Jane Austen-ish.
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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I started getting gray hair early, in my 20's. The first place the gray hair appeared was around my temples, so when it was long, I guess it framed my face.
After I got my hair cut really short, a woman who worked in my office thought it was ok to say the following:
"Now that you've gotten your hair cut, I want to tell you: That the long gray hair was really ugly."
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A favorite of mine comes from George Carlin and I've been sorely tempted to use it more times than I can keep track of:
He was talking about discouraging acquaintances he didn't care for much who kept calling and wanting to have a conversation. And how sometimes the way you decide to discourage them ends up being harsher than you intended.
"Ya know, I don't talk to people I like as much as I talk to you."
As he said, it was probably more than was needed to accomplish the task.
*sigh* I'll probably never get to use it - I'm too invested in maintaining my false persona as a supportive person. Posts: 4344 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Ah, yes. That reminds me of the year I almost got my girlfriend a diet book for her birthday. Look, I thought she was thin, but she always claimed to be fat.
Luckily, I was stopped in time.
Posts: 767 | Registered: Oct 2003
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My mom works in a nursing home. Recently, an old, southern guy said "you make a mighty fine [n-word]." And my mom's white...
She just said "thank you." No use trying to explain color, let alone political correctness, to a guy that barely remembers how to control his bowels.
Posts: 2292 | Registered: Aug 2003
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Yesterday one of the guys I work with looks at my notebook and says "You have guy's handwriting". I said "excuse me?" He looked at more of my writing and said "oh, you are such a guy". He proceeds to tell me why that's supposed to be a good thing, and says "You have the body of a woman and the mind of a guy." He claims that that's the best of both worlds.
I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted.
Posts: 4174 | Registered: Sep 2003
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My dad once said to my mom, "Libba, you're one in a hundred thousand." It was one of his jokes.
Oh, when he was really sick once, during the Far East currency crisis, I asked him how he felt, and he said "I feel like a million Rupiah." That one would make a good left handed compliment, too. "Wow, that dress makes you look like a million Rupiah!"
Posts: 968 | Registered: Sep 2003
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quote: You can pretty much say anything you want to about anyone and get away with it, as long as you stick a "bless his heart" or "bless her heart" at the end.
Let me try a few:
I f***** your wife last night, bless her heart. I really wanna kick that kid's A**, bless his heart. Go to h***, you stupid mother f***** b******, go to h*** and die, bless your heart.
I don't think that would work.
Posts: 2489 | Registered: Jan 2002
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the girl that sits across from me at work has delusions of adequacy.
when she opens her mouth, it seems that it's only to change feet. she's not so much as a has-been but more of a definite won't be. she brings alot of joy whenever she leaves the room. I think she has a photographic memory but the lens cover is glued on. when her IQ reaches 50, she should sell. if you stand close enough you can hear the ocean. some drink from the fopuntain of knowledge; she only gargled. it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes. she is a gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus. she would be out of her depth in a parking lot puddle.
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Thanks.
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Thanks for posting that, it's probably the first time I've laughed all day!
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I apologise on behalf of my kind...
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