posted
Okay, dude, it's 1:50 and I've had far too much excitement for one day. I'm going to go pass out the way your drunken mother does. Only, I don't make it a habit to spread my legs when I go to bed.
Posts: 3293 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
This coming from a person who hasn't said a single thing even remotely funny. Go back to polishing your motorcycle or whatever it is you butch chicks like to do. Go eat yourself.
Posts: 213 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
Are you kidding me? She couldn't burn me if smothered me with her flaming gay ass. Then again, I can't hope to hurt her much. *Her* name is Ralphie, and she probably owns a mirror.
Posts: 213 | Registered: Dec 2003
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posted
I'm not sure Pat's contract with Subway allows you to use his name in conjunction with the letters "BK".
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
Man, Ralphie. Cirque de So-Lame has rubbed off on you. You're obviously taking your cues from some french midget who makes a living by being stuffed naked into a see-through ball for the amusement of others. Although, I guess you didn't feel too bad for him, seeing as you took him out to the Portland night scene afterwards and all. And by night scene I do mean your place. The crime rate of that city would drop quite a bit if they legalized prostitution. Or if you just moved out of town. And hey, whatever else you say about BobbyK, you have to give this to him: his mirror comment was pretty damned insightful. And yet here you are, still posing as the Mistress of Funny, too bad nobody wants to look at you. Things have gone downhill since you were 14. But hey, better thank Slash for slapping you around so much when you were younger; those puffy lips are all you’ve got going for you.
Frisco, it’s pathetic that you’re recycling threads like this. You really aren’t all that and a bag of potato chips. You’d think that doing nothing but sleeping with bears would give you time to think of something creative, at the very least. But, I suppose if you could think you’d have a real job. Yeah, yeah. I know you’ve “found love.” Catalogue #1499234B-12, didn’t you say? How’s that working out for you? Does she think you cool? Does she swoon over your “ghetto look”? Of course, if she’s going out with you I guess she must not be capable of meaningful conversation. You still with me, Frisco? Too many words with more than one syllable? Of course, now I bet you’re going to go back and edit all your posts and let someone else fight your battles while you go to bed. Whenever I finally think you’ve gotten the balls to say what you think you always back down and say you’re too tired. But I guess you hear that line a lot, don’t you?
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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posted
You all disgust me, and not a casual sort of nose-in-the-air distate, either. Rather, each and every one of you inspire gut-busting, throat-rending leg-quivering dry heaves usually reserved only for serious gastrointestinal disorders and election year political conventions. I'm disgusted because even when it comes to the most purile of pursuits--belittling another--you all descend to petty insults that a preschooler would reject for being too infantile.
Most of you spit out half-formed one-liners like a winning slot machine played with dirt-encrusted scabs, pausing only to drain the drool that keeps causing your keyboard to short out. Your so-called "quips" obviously require no more thought than the bare minimum required to forestall a coma, although I am confident that medical evidence will show that most of you should be catagorized as legally brain-dead.
Perhaps the most grating aspect of this thread is that so many of you have no concept of what a well-formed insult entails. It is an art form, but all I can find here are petty, uneducated idiots flinging feces across the dung heap. Philistines! Have you no creativity? Have you no panache? Perhaps you are being paid by the word for each scatalogical reference, with extra pennies for gutteral profanity. I came to Hatrack hoping for stinging verbal ripostes ablaze with wry humor and clever innuendoes. Instead, I find insults that could be easily turned aside by head-trauma patients. I suppose I should be glad there is no audio component to this forum, for there is little doubt that all of you would be reduced to inarticulate rude noises by now.
The true insult--a weapon that any gentleman is well aquainted with and is skilled in the use of--bears no resemblence to the pretentious tripe that has thus far littered this thread. A well-crafted insult requires devilish wit, a keen intellect, and lightning-fast reflexes. It is produced with a skill that is comparable to painting a masterpiece from the back of a galloping stallion. Some invectives have a delayed effect, bringing the victim to his knees minutes, hours, or even days afterwards when he realizes the meaning of the cunning barbs that shamed him before anyone in earshot. Other diatribes take effect immediately, reducing the victim to helpless tears and often inducing desperate coping measures. Frequent effects (doubtless affecting many of you even now) include bedwetting, thumb sucking, a loss of bowel control, post-tramatic stress disorder, and chocolate binges.
I'm terribly disappointed in all of you.
Posts: 224 | Registered: Aug 2002
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OMG!! I posted in the interweb! I made a lot of words come up on the TV typewriter!! OMG HOLY CRAP WOW!!!1
Of course, I'm just summarizing. I didn't really read either post, just skimmed them for dirty words or anything else that would have made them interesting.
posted
It seems I've given Bob a lot to work with over the time he's been here.
But I know nothing about him. Are you holding back, Bob, so you can piggyback on twinky's reputation as a good guy?
Anyway, it was a well articulated, if not actually insulting, diatribe. It's an advantage of the newbie to be able to fire without fear of retribution. Sort of like shooting from inside a bunker. Some might call it cowardly...but I just look at it as taking advantage of what little you've got. Well done.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
I have yet to see a whisp of brilliance worthy of a retort. Ralphie, common, I'm told you're good at this.... wtf? Frisco, again, nice ass buddy. Cyber-sluttin it huh? I can tell you spent a whole 5 seconds on your posts. Good job buddy.
I'll admit I snickered at some of your childish banter, after being so completely let down by BTL and Taberah's well-worded hollow blatherings.
But, this just doesn't hold my attention much. Hence my lack of participation. Call me when you get a clue. Night Night Children.
Posts: 213 | Registered: Dec 2003
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quote:You have to understand, Ralphie, that all of my secret little simian slave-worker fetishes are being projected on to you, and my bizarro Freudian monkey-longing makes me frequently imagine you as a damn dirty ape.
posted
And why does that newbie keep talking about my ass? Keep talking about it if you must, but know that it will never become funny or insulting.
Then again, what can I expect from a kid who apparently idolizes crappy, temper tantrum-throwing Midwest college basketball coaches?
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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And that's about as original as Strider...who at least had the common sense to drop out on page one when he realized he was in over his head.
Posts: 5264 | Registered: Jul 2002
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posted
i'd like to point out which man I went after from the New Jersey Atlantic City get-together. Oh, that's right. Not Frisco.
Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002
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