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My vacation began December 19. On this day, Cor came down with a migraine. Cor often suffers from migraines, but never before one like this one.
These were actually "cluster-migraines."
They haven't ended yet.
She suffered through it while we cleaned house in anticipation of her parents' visit for the holidays. Actually, mostly I cleaned, and we didn't get done as much as we had wished.
She suffered through it all through their visit, from the 22nd to the 26th.
We went to the doctor on December 23rd, and the emergency room on December 26, 27, 29, and 31. On the 31st we switched HMO doctors, because ours would not admit her to the hospital. She stayed in the hospital for three nights.
When it comes to migraines, it's clear that doctors don't know what the heck they're doing. They try one medication, and then they try another, but it's all guesswork.
Through the past three weeks, at home I've done my best to do everything, and pretty much neglected all things evenly. Each time I took Cor to the hospital, I had my father come watch the girls for us. Finally, I just asked him to take them for a few days, because it was practically a daily thing. After she got out of the hospital, I proposed that we spend several nights in a hotel, so that somebody else could clean and prepare meals, while I did the schoolwork I had been neglecting all through the holidays--grading finals and stuff. And so I just picked up the girls last night, having not seen them for a good week or so.
Cor went to school in a wheel chair during the two teacher work days prior to the students' return, since we simply don't have the sick days to burn. I brought her in, set her up, and then went on to my own job. Today she is at home, as she was yesterday, and she'll probably stay home tomorrow. I had to get the girls ready for school this morning without help, take Banana to school, and drop off Cor's substitute lesson plans. Banana fell while walking in and scraped both of her knees, so I had to pit stop at the nurse's office for wound-cleansing and Band-Aids. I was a good twenty-five minutes late to work. On the way home, I'll have to stop by to pick up any papers that were collected by the sub.
[This is not a Mr. Mom story here. I am far from incompetent around the house or with my kids. The difficulty is not that I'm used to having a woman serve me, but that we normally split the chores, since we both work, but now I'm having to juggle it all, and also being a nurse.]
My goodness, what a self-indulgent post . . . clearly, Cor has done the bulk fo the suffering here, so why the self-pity? Well, I'm certainly not comparing my suffering to hers, but dangit, everyone makes sympathetic sounds when they hear that she's had this headache for three weeks. It never occurs to anyone that I lost my vacation, or that the last three weeks have been awful for me!
Anyway, hope the self-pity doesn't offend you, but heck, I warned you. Why did you click on the thread if it would?
Actually, what I really wanted to say is that there are several threads I have missed, like landmarks from special people, and I wanted people to know it was not because I didn't care or have anything to say, but because I haven't had time to be online. Hopefully soon I'll go digging through and resurrect some of them. Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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My thoughts and prayers go out to Cor and the girls. Those poor, poor girls having you take care of them. Make sure you feed them something once in a while and Dragon Stout is not appropriate for another year or two.
You do have my sympathy. Cor must be miserable, but it's not a cakewalk for you either.
Kristine used to get migraines before I met her. She's told me before that she had good luck using bio-feedback techniques.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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As a fellow migraine sufferer spouse, you have my unbridled pity. Especially the part about all the sympathy going to her and all that.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I've taken care of a friend that had chronic migranes, and that was no cakewalk. I can imagine that it would be all the worse having the responsibilities of a parent and teacher on top of that. Sorry you're having to go through this. Also sorry that Cor is having to experience the migranes.
Have they done any MRIs? I ask because my cousin recently started experiencing really hidious migranes, and an MRI revealed a non-cancerous tumor in her pituitary gland that they think is causing the trouble. She's young--22--so while she has grown an inch in the last little while, she hasn't been as badly effected by this as she would if she were past the age at which her body was capable of vertical growth. It's extremely unlikely that this is what Cor would be dealing with, but if they haven't found anything else it'd be worth checking out.
I hope your insurance is covinging the bulk of the costs for Cor's ER and hospital visits.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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the same thing happened to my mother a few years ago and it turned out to be an aneurysm. you might want to make sure that all the medical avenues are being considered. of course I don't know too much and I'm certainly not an MD but your story had an aerie ring to it for me. and I understand exactly where your coming from. I had to quit my job to help take care of my than 2 year old brother. if you need to commiserate feel free to e-mail me, not that you know me from Adam but I just wanted to make the offer. I will keep you and yours in my thoughts, as it is a very frightening thing to be going thru. I wish I could do more for you.
Posts: 122 | Registered: Jun 2003
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Good luck to the both of you! I'm sorry about your hellish break. ((Icarus and Cor))
I had a migraine once during finals and went in to the hospital where they accused me of being a drug addict, gave me a $900 MRI and then lectured me on lifestyle and stress before giving me a shot of aspirin and sending me home. It was one of the more humiliating and maddening experiences of my life.
Hope she recovers soon!
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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I'm so sorry. When I had Viral Meningitis they thought it was a migraine at first. I have never had such awful pain in all my life. I sure hope she feels better soon. Posts: 9293 | Registered: Aug 2000
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I suffer from migranes and hav almost all my life and your right doctors are almost clueless ive had 2 mri's and nothing showed up and they suggestedv allergys or stress but it doesnt seem to be connected to either and when I get sick with em I really feel bad for the people who have to take care of me because I have uncontrollable vomiting Posts: 18 | Registered: Dec 2003
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Oh, Icky, I'm sorry. That's hard and awful and disappointing. I wish you and Cor could have checked into a hotel for happier reasons. I wish your holiday season had been trouble-free. I wish you had a housekeeper that worked for peanuts and cheerfully helped you and Cor out. I wish I could give you the tenderest of hugs.
Migraines are mysterious and maddening. I send my hugs to you and Cor and the Fruit Sisters.
Posts: 1545 | Registered: May 2002
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She seems to be a bit better today. Not perfect, but liveable. She'll still take tomorrow off, but she'll try to be back at work by Monday. The doctor originally told her to take 10 days off, but that's absurd. (Er, I'm repeating myself, aren't I? )
I've decided to take tomorrow off myself as a mental sanity day. I'm at work now trying to invent substitute plans. The only place that'll be hard is statistics, since we don't have a textbook.
She had a CT scan, and then she had a spinal tap. Neither showed up anything, but she turned out to be in that lucky one percent of people (apparently) who react to spinal taps by getting worse headaches. She also had an MRI. Nothing turned up anything, which is a good thing, because it means that, while excruciating, this is not apparently life-threatening.
Anyway, thanks again for all the kind thoughts and words. (((Hatrack))) Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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We've missed you. I'm sorry that your break was so exhausting.
I suffer from migraines, but I've never had to deal with one for more than 2 days. I would probably be dead if I were your wife.
I would also probably be dead if I were you. You guys are made of tough stuff and I'm impressed at all that you've managed to do. Hang in there and remember that we love you!! (((Ick and Cor)))
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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People who take care of sick spouses should get extra-credit points. Not that it's really extra, I suppose -- "in sickness and in health" and all -- but it isn't fair that the sick one gets all the sympathy. *Extra hugs for Ick*
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Wow, I'm so sorry, Icky and Cor both! Migraines are really horrible. I remember the first time I had one that lasted over a day and I nearly gave up right then. I can't even imagine having one last for so long as Cor's have!
It always amazes me that anything can hurt that badly and not indicate something so bad going wrong inside your head that it would be immediately obvious on an MRI or even a CT scan. I've never had either done on me.
I had a two-day one this week that was really severe, and I was all feeling sorry for me. (It was the kind with lots of vomiting, which I usually don't get. I really hate that cause you can't take any medicine.) I didn't realize I was getting off so easily. You poor things! <<<<<Cor>>>>>> <<<<<<<Icky>>>>>>>
Posts: 2843 | Registered: A Long Time Ago!
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Anne Kate, I had no idea! I'm glad that yours weren't as prolonged as Cor's, but that doesn't mean that yours were a cakewalk. You can always find someone suffering worse than you are, but that doesn't invalidate your experience.
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(((Icarus))) (((Cor))) Migraines are such pain in the a** ! I hope Cor will get better soo. Extra hugs for both of you and the children. Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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Once again, thanks everyone for all the support. Cor is not completely over it, but she is, let's say, 90% better. We were able to have a nice mental sanity day on Friday, and a nice anniversary outing on Saturday night. Tomorrow we will both return to work.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Now would be a good time to test out the whole "retroactive prayer" thing. Lets all pray that Cor never had these migranes to begin with. If it works, we'll all pray for Mooselet's never having been sick either.
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But if it works, how will we know it worked? If it never happened, Icarus will never post this thread.
Posts: 9866 | Registered: Apr 2002
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But if it never happened, wouldn't that affect your actions afterwards, which would cause chain reactions that would have their own chain reactions? (Sorry, I just read Pastwatch for the first time and am currently re-reading it.)
Posts: 981 | Registered: Aug 2003
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But what if what actually happened took into account your retroactive prayers, and since it was ameliorated a great deal by them, you didn't end up praying about that thing after all, so it would go ahead and be much worse? Do hypothetical retroactive prayers that don't actually end up being prayed because of how effective they were have any effect?
Those are all time-ist questions. People outside of time don't worry about stuff like that. Just pray.
[ January 13, 2004, 12:05 AM: Message edited by: ak ]
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I hope everyone gets better and you guys get some real vacation next time. (((Icky and Cor)))![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
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She also had an MRI. Nothing turned up anything, which is a good thing, because it means that, while excruciating, this is not apparently life-threatening.![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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