posted
Recently I put a false author's note bio in my AIM profile, and everyone seems to love it. Writing these things is really fun, especially about yourself. Here's mine: (note: this includes my real name. To any stalkers out there, I welcome the advantage to legally cause grievous bodily harm)
quote:ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Foulmouthed, rude, and obscenely impulsive, Robert Bennett's continued existence remains a testament to everything that is wrong with mankind. His irrationally belligerent, aggresive, and usually unneccessary stance on an almost random array of issues confounds top psychiatrists, alarms passers-by, and could easily be considered as a psychosis. He's alive somewhere, for some reason, although if you asked us why or how we honestly couldn't tell you.
posted
I changed it to "alarms passers-by" because that gives you the impression that I'm running up and shouting at people on the street.
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posted
But this is much more detailed, and, to me, easier. Here's one I just thought up with a random name:
quote: Despite such setbacks as having no feet and a virulent taste for human flesh, Chris Fairchild's career as courtesan, fishmonger, and international drug kingpin continues to rise. He attributes all of his success to his ingenious tactic of asking people for money while holding a knife in plain view. His life long love has been his tomato garden, to which he proposed in 1973 and married the following spring. They live happily in South Carolina with their two sons.
I should write a lot of these and make a webstie generator.
[ March 05, 2004, 05:01 PM: Message edited by: Book ]
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posted
From the illustrators' bios in Leading Edge magazine (BYU's sf/fantasy magazine):
quote:Ruth Palmer is actually quite normal. This is because she is trying very hard to conceal the fact that she is a tiger-like being from a planet which circles a star you’ve never heard of, and has square eyes and tentacles sprouting from her armpits. She is considered to be very beautiful on her planet, but made a mistake in achieving the same goal here. The reason she rarely speaks is because her vocal modifier is temporarily acting up, and you don’t want to hear what she really sounds like.
Palmer was my maiden name, and I illustrated a poem for the magazine . . . a black widow spider, nothing outstanding.
posted
Harlan Ellison tends to write different bios for each of his books. A bunch of them are collected here.
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