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Anyone have any stories about meeting the family of their significant other? From what I hear, it's always an experience... I can vouch for that.
Earlier today, I went out to dinner with Stryker and his family. His grandparents were in town a week, ending tomorrow. After we sat down at the table, the first question Stryker's grandmother asked me was "So, tell me... why are you with him?"
Poor Stryker... I felt quite sorry for him.
(((Stryker)))
I didn't answer that one!
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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My freshman year, I dated a guy at Harvard. I went to his house for seder. When I met one of his relatives, she asked me, "Do you go to Harvard?" and I replied no, that I go to Brown. And her face fell a little, said, "Oh," and got quiet.
heheh. And one of his brothers is a PhD student at Brown.
Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
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We were in Canada, and this was dinner with David's uncle -- the man who helped raise him, who was sort of a combination father/brother more than anything else.
I was nervous. Scared silly, actually. We were at a rib joint and I downed two margaritas, got frisky with David under the table (tequila does that to me), and started telling completely inappropriate jokes.
Uncle Jim, a bachelor geologist-prospector, lifted the eyebrows completely off his head. Then he topped me with a hoot of a tall tale (quite blue, indeed), and David hastily changed the subject.
For years after that, I was banned from having tequila at family gatherings. I thought the whole matter had blown over until we invited Uncle Jim out to dinner some three years later.
He puffed on his pipe, rolled his eyes at me, and cracked, "Depends on if you'll be ordering the margaritas." Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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Heheh, nothing at all, as far as I know. I think it just wasn't quite as good as Hah-vaahd for her. They're one of those compulsively overachieving families. Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
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When I first met Tony's mother, she didn't really approve.
I think she saw me as an 18 year old hussy out to corrupt her (28 year old) son - odd perception, really.
But now she loves me. I get calls when Tony is away to make sure I'm ok, little presents and I'm often told "You know, you could do much better". Jokingly, of course. She has however told Tony unjokingly that he better not break up with me, or he'll be in big trouble.
Gotta love the family sticking up for you - even where it's unneccessary. Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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My now-husband wanted me to meet his folks--and the opportunity was a family reunion. So off we went to a biggish park in Sacramento to meet every single relative at once! His mom immediately decided that I was the answer to her prayers. (I, OTOH, was marriage-phobic and wanted nothing less than to discuss weddings.) "Tact" not being her middle name, she spent the whole day hinting at marriage while we both writhed inside.
Oh well, it worked out fine. Posts: 335 | Registered: Feb 2001
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Acutally, I once had an interesting time meeting the family of someone I was dating. I went with her to meet/have dinner with her father and stepmother. We all get there, sit down, and it takes us a minute, but it turns out I already knew her family from when I was working as an assistant for a scuba class they both took. I actually knew her family better than I knew her at the time.
Posts: 100 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Oh yes, and then there was when DangerDad met my folks...
They got along great, actually. And then, DDad found out where my dad was from. "Oh, my mom's best friend lives there with her family. Do you know the xxxxx's?"
My dad replied, "Oh. Yes. Mr. xxxxx was the lawyer who sued my parents while my father was dying." (In a completely pointless and wrong-headed suit, and he kept moving the date, prolonging the agony.)
Ever heard the phrase "it went over like a lead balloon"?
Posts: 335 | Registered: Feb 2001
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I met lissande's mom for the first time on New Year's Eve when she was visiting Prague. Was so nervous, even threatened lissande i'll speak no english and she will have to translate. But after i waited for them for like an hour (yes, was at our meeting point an hour before trying to calm down) it all went great, we had nice time and all. And I can say, she likes me now, which is very nice.
Guess lissande will have a more interesting story to tell.
Posts: 102 | Registered: Oct 2003
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Tzadik looked so calm and collected while meeting my mother for the first time. From her side of the table, the huge hole he was picking in the side of his styrofoam coffee cup was invisible. I just sat there wide-eyed, staring at it as he compulsively picked it bigger and bigger. I was pretty nervous because after that her only reaction was, "he's nice" - not exactly warm. But every time we saw him after that during the two weeks she visited me, the comments got better and better until finally I think she likes him better than me. She certainly emails him more.
But oh, my child. Stories about meeting SO's relatives? After meeting Tzadik's parents, I have very little sympathy for anyone who at least speaks the language of the family they're meeting. Tzadik's parents DON'T SPEAK ENGLISH. As in NONE. As in they can say "OK." Compounding this is the fact that I DON'T SPEAK SLOVAK. As in I speak Czech like a barbarian (in fact if someone asks me that's what I say - Mluvim cesky jako pohan), which means they understand me fine if I can manage to say what I want, and I can sort of occasionally understand them. It was painful. Wanting to make my best impression, to seem like the intelligent person I am (in English), I say something along the lines of, "I you to meet is nice. You have food son. I mean good." Of course, I shouldn't complain - when I met Tzadik's mother, he translated the parts I didn't understand. Into Czech. In some ways I think this is worse than not speaking a word of the other language - if he were Persian I would make no attempt and just smile sweetly and allow him to speak for me. But I speak just enough to be forced to sound stupid.
And this doesn't even go INTO the trauma of cooking for both his parents, when they came in January and I met his father for the first time. Invite them to my apartment to eat my cooking so that both can be judged from the perspective of a culture with very specific ideas about what constitutes a proper meal and home, none of which I can possibly live up to at this point. *shudder* I decided to make no attempt to have a culturally appropriate meal, as I don't know how to cook one yet. We had an "American" dish (shepherd's pie) that would be new but unobjectionable, and "American pastries" (chocolate chip cookies). And, score for Lissande, they liked it. And me. I'm not going to probe into how much of that is simple relief that there is someone willing to marry their son.
Anyway. In case you missed it - THEY DIDN'T SPEAK ENGLISH. I had to speak pathetic Czech to them. *sob*
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Well Lissande, it sounds like my lovly lady got off easy. Hey Raia, you did great, i'm getting good rports from the grandparents (they just left)
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(((Lissande))) I'm sure you did just fine. If nothing else, they would have been impressed with the effort you put in!
Posts: 4393 | Registered: Aug 2003
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My cousin Shannan came to my grandparents house and announced that she was engaged, started showing off the ring, etc.
My grandmother, God bless her, said "Oh, Shannan, you could do so much better!"
She then clamped her hand over her mouth and had this look of horror, as if she couldn't believe what came out of her own mouth.
Incidentally, Shannan and her husband have been married for more than 10 years and have two children. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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I resisted posting on this thread when I first saw it because I know my story trumps any and every other story. Or, it had better.
When I moved to Ontario to go to Waterloo I met a girl and shortly after first term we started dating. Over "spring break" (which happens in mid February) we decided to get together at her parents house in Toronto, I'd meet her folks she'd show me the big city (I'm from rural Nova Scotia, the biggest city I'd had any experience with to date was a little over 100,000 people. Toronto is decidedly larger). So, I get there Monday evening, her mom's an agent and wasn't set to come home that day until later that evening. So, said girl and I make dinner and chill for a few hours. Her mom comes home and it's clear she's in a bad mood and really miffed about something. We talk for all of 5 minutes, long enough to exchange names at which point I'm told I'm going to have to leave. "And go where??" "I don't know, find somewhere." A few minutes later I'm out the door with my backpack in hand and a stunned expression on my face. Several freezing days living on the streets later I resurface when my uncle comes home and I move in with him for the weekend before going back to school.
Her mother and I never really got along, oh the stories I could tell. She was pretty happy when you broke up and, really, I'm pretty happy I'm never going to have to deal with her again. (God willing).
Posts: 3243 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Stryker: Oh really? What did they say? *super curious* (((((Stryker)))))
Btw, people... what this kid did not mention is that he had to put up with half an hour of "Jewish mother treatment" when he came to pick me up once, and he was early, and I was a little late (due to not being able to shut up my voice teacher)... poor Stryker. Jewish families (especially the Israeli ones) can be rather intimidating. *more hugs*
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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The first time I met Christy's mother, I got into an argument with her about gay rights. *wry laugh* I think it took her YEARS -- literally years -- to recover. Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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My in-laws are about as innocuous as you could imagine. They have always been great to me. I think I probably met them briefly in high school, when my (now) wife and I were just friends, but I never spent any time with them until she invited me to go waterskiing with her whole family.
Now, I'm not the kind that makes a good first impression while wearing swim trunks, but they were really cool. Over the next few months they invited me to Thanksgiving dinner when my own family was out of town, and brought me along when they all went on a vacation to SoCal.
They still haven't gotten over the fact that I didn't ask their permission to marry their daughter, but we just joke about it. And after ten years (eight married), I still don't think I've exchanged a total of five hundred words with my father-in-law. I think he likes me, but with him there would be no way to know.
Posts: 1652 | Registered: Aug 2003
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The first time I met Kristine's family, we went down to Miami for the weekend so K could go to her sister's baby shower. I was left at home with her father all by myself for the day.
Her Dad is a contractor and decided he need to determine if I was handy at all. My test was to see if I could repair a rusty wheelbarrow. It took me most of the afternoon, but I did it. In my defense, the bolts were rusted shut and the holes on the new handles didn't line up with the holes on the frame.
I found out later I had been deemed "not very handy". I countered with the fact that he must be a lousy contractor if he leaves his tools out in the rain to get rusty. We get along great now.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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The first time I ever spoke to my mother-in-law was to call her at midnight and tell her I had my wife, her only daughter, sent to the hospital because she had told me she had taken a bunch of pills.
Ahh... good times.
Posts: 1294 | Registered: Oct 2003
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I met my hubby through his mom. I was lucky that she approved of me enough to get him to follow me around at church, trying to get up the guts to talk to me. It was funny.
On the other hand, when I met Jesse's more extended family, I was introduced as "Jesse's friend" even though we had been together for months.
Raia: Did she mean "Why are you with him?" as an insult to him? Or was she just trying to figure out where you were coming from? I might ask my son's gf the same thing, just trying to determine if she were in it for fun or the long haul.
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I have no stories about other people's relatives, but someone else does about mine.
When Michael first told my dad that he loved me, my dad said, "Are you sure? You know she's strong-willed."
We later concluded that strong-willed = not-easily-put-upon. If you asked, he'd never say he meant it as an insult. It was just the first thing that popped into his head. Isn't that somehow worse?
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The men in my family insult me daily in the attempt to be kind.
My grandpa would visit and bring presents for all us cousins. We would line up while he passed out the gifts, and I would stand at the end of the line. When he would reach me, he would have nothing, and so he would hand me the paper bag the gifts had been in. I think he really thought he was being thoughtful. No pity please. This really makes me laugh. We've learned to live with the fact that Grandpa's kind of a jerk.
My uncle, Dude, scares my son. He pats him on the head and calls him "tender-hearted". I don't know why that ticks me off so much but it does.
My other uncle, Blue, laughs when people are upset. He really thinks he's building relationships or something. Once, when I first moved to Tucson, he pointed me in the wrong direction when showing me where the bus stop was (by accident) and laughed at me when I came back three hours later after walking six miles in 110 degree heat, with no water. Even when I cried, he still laughed.
Thing is, none of these guys would consider their behavior to be that of "jerks".
Posts: 6367 | Registered: Aug 2003
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I should be in bed, shouldn't be posting. The first time I met Steve's relatives was at his graduation. They didn't know we were living together. He hadn't even told his mother. They took it in stride. Rather than going out somewhere, because all resuraunts are booked on graduation, we ordered takeout chineese. It worked out pretty well.
We didn't spend a lot of time with his father, though. His father and father's girlfriend (now fiancee) consume alcohol regularly. His father used to be a bartender. The first couple times we visited them I got exceedingly intoxicated, because his father kept refilling my rasberry lemonade vodka drink. He'd made an entire pitcher. They are totally cool people though. I was a nervous wreck meeting them. Steve kept telling me not to that his relatives were nice. They are, I just didn't know relatives could actually be that nice, since all I had to judge from were my own. It was a very pleasant surprise!
AJ
(I wrote this over 24 hours ago and forgot to hit add reply)
Posts: 11265 | Registered: Mar 2002
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quote: Raia: Did she mean "Why are you with him?" as an insult to him? Or was she just trying to figure out where you were coming from? I might ask my son's gf the same thing, just trying to determine if she were in it for fun or the long haul.
OH no, she meant it as an insult to him! Hehe... (((Stryker))) Yeah, he knows it. Luckily, she dropped that after I didn't answer!
Posts: 7877 | Registered: Feb 2003
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quote:My grandpa would visit and bring presents for all us cousins. We would line up while he passed out the gifts, and I would stand at the end of the line. When he would reach me, he would have nothing, and so he would hand me the paper bag the gifts had been in. I think he really thought he was being thoughtful. No pity please. This really makes me laugh. We've learned to live with the fact that Grandpa's kind of a jerk
humm, anyway...
when i was twelve, my mom married my best friend's dad so we became stepsisters. that summer, my mom went with my stepdad to Chicago, where his family lives. a couple months after they came back, my mom and i were talking about some stuff that had been in the news, and she happened to mention that my friend had an aunt who was lesbain(my stepdad's sister). it turned out that my stepdad never told my friend that her aunt was gay because he was embarrassed by it. so now I know that my friend's aunt is gay, but she doesn't. it puts me in an interesting frame of mind. i really wonder if i should tell her. we both like her aunt Ann very much. then again, she probably knows, being the sneaky little cat that she is.
Posts: 43 | Registered: Nov 2003
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I'd also like to mention that a certain some one, a freind of Raia's who reffered to herself as mummy, met me not too long ago, the first thing she said was,"Mummy doesn't aprove".
I just had to add that one, i mean the thread is about to die anyways. Posts: 1094 | Registered: Mar 2004
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I was pretty nervous because after that her only reaction was, "he's nice" - not exactly warm. But every time we saw him after that during the two weeks she visited me, the comments got better and better until finally I think she likes him better than me. She certainly emails him more.![[Wall Bash]](graemlins/wallbash.gif)
In some ways I think this is worse than not speaking a word of the other language - if he were Persian I would make no attempt and just smile sweetly and allow him to speak for me. But I speak just enough to be forced to sound stupid. ![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
