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Topic: LOTR Wenches' Tavern

skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*bows to Telperion, Giver of Light*

[whispers to Derrell]

I think we've found a light source for our explorations.

Did you see that guestbook over on the bar? Do you think there might be a clue in the book about this hidden chamber?

[whispers to Telperion]

We seem to have attracted The Inspector's attention while you were in the closet. What should we do about him?

*wonders what role the goat will play in all this*

*looks around for goat*

*sees goat standing on the bar, chewing on the guestbook*

[whispers to Telp and Derrell]

Guys, we've got to get that book away from the goat!

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Altáriël of Dorthonion
Member
Member # 6473

posted

* Opens tavern door and sits down*
Do you have some Celebriän wine?

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Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

posted

*whispers to skillery* When's the inspector gonna leave?*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

[whispers to Derrell]

I don't know, but did you notice that sharp, pointy, metal object slung from his hip? I wonder if he knows how to use it. Try saying something to him in French.

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Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*Happily sautes some shrimp to adorn the bed of fresh greens.*

*Hums under her breath*

*Ponders which dressing would be most complementary to the salad.*

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

::shakes finger at the goat::

Now, now, you know better!

::takes the guestbook away from the goat and starts reading, until she notices skillery, Derrell, and Telperion staring at her::

May I help you lads?

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

Just wondering if there are any good stories in there.

We like stories, don't we boys.

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

::looks at the book, then skillery, then back and up again::

I dunno... I really missed the tavern last time, just came for a drink.

::walks over and hands him the book::

If there are any good adventure stories, will you tell me about them? I love a good story, especially about magic and ma--never mind.

::goes back to the bar mumbling something about magic and how breakdancing wizards are a disgrace::

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Javert
Member
Member # 3076

posted

*Has spent some time investigating this talking tree...steps back, looking at skillery and Derrell.*

You two have a liscence for this tree? If not I'll have to ticket you...

*Pulls out his sword*

...and tow the tree.

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

Oh!

::rushes over to Javert::

Good inspector, sir, please don't cause trouble in the tavern! Come have another ale, sir.

::drags Javert to a table and gets him another ale::

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*thanks Mayday*

*thumbs through the guestbook*

*finds a page not eaten by the goat*

Hmmm...

Look here boys. Looks like a group of wizards passed through here some time ago. Says they enjoyed their time spent in the Wizards' Bachelor Pad. Some ladies signed the book too...said the wizards were an obnoxious lot.

Hmmm...

Wonder what became of those wizards.

Telp, did you see anything beyond the closet that looked like a wizards' lair?

Telp??

Must be asleep.

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

::looks over skillery's arm at the book::

Oh, the Bachelor Pad... they had a trampoline down there...

::mumbles something about lechery draining power::

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*notices that Mayday seems to be interested in our little adventure*

[whispers to Mayday]

We're trying to find out if there are any secret chambers around here that need exploring.

Are you new here?

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

Yes, but I know of the Bachlor Pad. It was downstairs... I don't know the location of it, though.

::thinks::

If we go exploring, I can defend us! I just need a sword... Or some arrows... Or a staff... Or... Nope, never mind! [Big Grin]

I'll just... yeah.

[ April 26, 2004, 10:48 PM: Message edited by: MaydayDesiax ]

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Javert
Member
Member # 3076

posted

*smiles*
Does someone need a sword?
*grins up at Mayday from behind his ale*

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

A ha.

::flashes a knife stuck in her boot:: I can defend myself.

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Javert
Member
Member # 3076

posted

I was offering to lend mine, not to fight. [Razz]

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

Oh! I thought you were talking about something else. After all, this IS a wench's tavern. [Blushing]

Thank you, Inspector Javert! [Kiss]

You kind sir.

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*keeps an eye on The Inspector*

[whispers to Mayday]

What do you suppose he's up to? Since when do talking trees need a license? Watch him; he looks like one of those fancy fencing types.

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

[wispers to skilley] No, I think he's a good guy. He has trustworty eyes. [/wispers]

::curtsies to Javert:: Thank you for your kind offer, good sir.

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Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*Smiles benignly on the adventuresome group*

"I see you took my advice and recruited a wench for your explorations - Mayday is brave and true!"

*Locates a comfy seat with her tempting salad of fresh greens, sauteed shrimp and lemon-pepper dressing*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*doesn't like the way The Inspector keeps eyeing the tree*

*wants to trust Mayday*

*wonders why everyone seems to know about this caper before it's even hatched*

*wonders if the wenches are mind-readers*

*wishes Mayday would take those silly brushes off her feet*

*decides to sleep on it*

*curls up in the corner next to the fire*

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Javert
Member
Member # 3076

posted

*looks around*

Oh great...I lost my ale.

*searches*

Ale!....AAAAAAALE! [Confused]

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

Aw... (((Javert))) I'll get you a new one.

::takes off the brushes and promptly falls on the slick floor::

Ow...

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*is startled awake by a loud, clunking sound*

*sees Mayday sprawled on the floor*

*notices that Mayday has removed the brushes from her feet*

[thinks to himself]

She must have read my mind. I'm going to have to think more quietly.

[/stops thinking]

Settles back into the corner. [Sleep]

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*swallows last morsel of spider steak*

*gulp*

"sigh...."

*belches*

*looks around contentedly*

*signals passing wench*

"'scuse me, Miss, but... hmm... where?"

*suppresses fart below audibility*

*turns red*

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MaydayDesiax
Member
Member # 5012

posted

::gets up slowly::

[Blushing]

I meant to do that.

::goes outside to put on shoes::

::begins to wonder if her fiancee is going to drop by one day...::

::goes back inside and slips again::

I didn't mean to do that.

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*is startled awake by a loud, clunking sound*

*stretches, yawns*

*goes outside to water the rose bushes*

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Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

*yawns*

Wha..?

Oh sorry... Was on my 7 hour sleep cycle... [Wink]

Shall we explore?

*grin*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*sees that Telp is awake*

*motions for Telp, Derrell, and Mayday to join him in the rose garden*

*doesn't want the wenches in the tavern to read his mind or overhear the plans*

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*practices fencing technique on a rose bush*

*en guarde*
*engage*
*parry quarte-riposte*
*retreat-lunge*
*parry septime-riposte*
*attack to octave*
*retreat*
*feint to quarte, deceives parry, hits in sixte*
*retreat*

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Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

"skillery! for shame!"

[No No]

"come inside and relax - you are obviously not feeling like your normal good-natured self."

*GENTLY takes skillery by the arm and leads him into the tavern*

"Hot tea? Chocolate milk? Ale?"

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

How about some OJ to get me started.

Thanks Shan.

*slumps into a chair*

*starts to itch wounded hand*

*notices for the first time that the wound has healed*

Hmmm...must have been something in Derrell's salve.

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*takes stock of what he thinks he knows:*

There's a secret door inside the closet that leads to a cavernous space.
There may be a giant spider or spiders in the secret cavern.
The wenches here seem to have tamed Shelob, the giant spider.
Shan has a magic talisman that controls giant spiders.
Telperion is expecting a visit from Ungoliant, another giant spider.
According to the guestbook, the wenches were at one time plagued by bachelor wizards, who took up residence in the basement.
According to the guestbook, the Wenches' Tavern used to be a much livelier place.
The wenches didn't seem to mind too much when I discovered the secret door.
The wenches served psychedelic mushroom stew, and immediately thereafter a giant spider went on the rampage.
The only thing that saved me was the magic talisman that the goat had somehow gotten away from Shan.
Inspector Javert seems to be trailing either Derrell, skillery, or Telperion.
Young Mayday does not seem to be part of whatever is going on here.

.
[conclusion]
The Wenches' Tavern has become a nexus for giant spiders, encouraged and fed by the wenches themselves as a defense against obnoxious bachelor wizard-types. The dwindling number of clientele suggests that the spiders feed on visitors.
[/conclusion]
.
[options]
1. Run
2. Search the spider's lair and liberate any surviving victims.
3. Warn the others, and then run.
[/options]
*slumps even deeper into the chair*

*wonders what part Javert plays in all this*

[ April 27, 2004, 04:15 PM: Message edited by: skillery ]

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Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

*sings*

And so Javert you see it's true, that man bears no more guilt than YOU! Who am I.... who am I...

um.. who AM I??

I'm Jean Val Telperion!

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*pushes back chair and wanders over to Telperion and Derrell*

Derrell, you look tired after standing there all night.

*whispers his theory so that only Telperion and Derrell can hear*

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Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

*gasp*

We must rescue them!

Onward Valar Soldiers!

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*sneaks into the kitchen and borrows a large knife*

*sneaks into the closet and waits for backup*

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Shan
Member
Member # 4550

posted

*Enters room holding large glass og OJ*

*Looks around for skillery*

*Notices that the closet door is slightly ajar*

"Really, skillery - don't you think it's time to come out of that closet now? I have your OJ right here."

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*gropes around in the dark for the secret latch*

*discovers too late that the hidden door is already open*

*falls through the opening and lands on the damp stone floor, dropping the knife*

*hears a familiar clicking sound behind him*

*hunts frantically for the dropped knife*

*feels a stabbing sensation in the back of his right hand*

*feels a tickling sensation as he is slowly wrapped in silk*

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fallow
Member
Member # 6268

posted

*finds own way to the bathroom*

*squats*

*composes series of clever puns as a distraction from spider-steak-induced indigestion*

*hums a spritely tune*

*exits toilet, pausing briefly to wonder at the odd noises coming from below the floorboards*

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Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

Skillery!

Down foul spider!

*shines with glorious Light*

*spider clicks in fear and runs away dropping Skillery to the ground*

*Skillery's head meets the ground with a loud bump*

Smelling salts anyone?

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

OOOF!

*wriggles around in the cocoon*

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Telperion the Silver
Member
Member # 6074

posted

Where in Manwe's name did that elven-blade go??

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*will think twice the next time he considers barging into a girls-only, night out at Chippendales thread*

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Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

posted

skillery, sorry, I had to visit the little adventurer's room. *whispers* So, when do we set off on our adventure?

[ April 28, 2004, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: Derrell ]

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*wonders if Jimmy Hoffa ended up this way*

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Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

posted

*whispers to skillery* What does Jimmy Hoffa have to do with this? Do you think we'll find him in the wizard's cave? [Wink]

So, are we ready to proceed?

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skillery
Member
Member # 6209

posted

*thrashes about in cocoon*

*wonders if Derrell will be coming along anytime soon with his elvish blade*

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Derrell
Member
Member # 6062

posted

*goes looking for skillery*

*finds a cocoon*

*carefully slices it open*

*helps skillery out*

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