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Synestesia, I wish I could tell you that a hyper-religious guy would respect your heathenism (or other belief) as a way of life, but I see people thinking they can sweep it under the rug over and over. I'm so glad it didn't work out for me the dude who grew up to be a presbyterian minister. If religious autonomy is important to you, I hope you always make a big deal of it so you can steer clear of the hyper religious guys.
I agree that there is more to a woman than her kids or lack thereof, and there is also more to a man than whether he wants kids or not.
Posts: 11017 | Registered: Apr 2003
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posted
This suddenly struck me as funny (and I don't mean this to be insulting, just amusing in our differences).
I hadn't realized I had a line there, but I think I can honestly say that if some guy said that he woulnd't marry someone who beat couldn't beat him at chess, I'd have walked away.
For better or worse, I guess I'm just that picky. *laughs*
Posts: 318 | Registered: Apr 2002
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Again, Pooka, yes there is more to people than their children/lack thereof.
But any relationship will be partially defined by children/lack of children. If that part of the relationship is important to you, then making a dating decision based on it is smart.
Why is it that a woman can say, "I would never marry a man who didn't want to raise a family" and no one will bat an eye. But if a man says, "I would never marry a woman with kids/who wants kids" and he is a jerk?
Posts: 5383 | Registered: Dec 1999
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quote:Vegitarian - As I once heard, 'Dating is 2% sex, and 98% trying to figure out where to eat'. I think there are lifestyle choices that can make people incompatible. I don't want disapproving looks every time I munch a ham sandwich.
In their defense, I have never known a vegetarian that looked at me or any of the other people at the table disapprovingly when we ordered a steak or a "Meat Lover's" pizza. Also, I can't think of any restaraunt off-hand that doesn't serve something for vegetarians (like a salad or veggie-burger).
Now, of course, if they were one of those freaky vegetarians that exploded because a fry they purchased at MacDonalds, for goodness sake, was cooked in grease, there might be a problem. Most of the vegetarians I know, however, don't eat meat because they don't like the taste of it.
quote:Why is it that a woman can say, "I would never marry a man who didn't want to raise a family" and no one will bat an eye. But if a man says, "I would never marry a woman with kids/who wants kids" and he is a jerk?
I don't know, Slash because I agree with you - anyone who doesn't want children should be absolutely up front about that and a woman or man who married someone who didn't agree with their views on having children is asking for trouble.
I'm no big fan of Dr. Phil, but on one show I saw him tell a couple that children took two yesses and only one no. I think that's a good way to look at it. If you're going to bring a life into the world, both of you need to be on board for it.
And if you want kids and the person you're dating doesn't - your asking for trouble if you agree to a marriage without thoroughly addressing the issue.
Personally, I don't think raising kids is for everyone and I admire Slash for being up front about it, and the fact that he and his wife are happy together with their choice is fantastic.
Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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A guy not wanting to have kids doesn't make him a jerk. I think I'll always be to young to have kids, even when I'm forty. At least it means he knows his mind and has thought of it. You just can't force him.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
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