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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » Selling out vs. adulthood - Anyone truly happy with their jobs? (Page 1)

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Author Topic: Selling out vs. adulthood - Anyone truly happy with their jobs?
Beren One Hand
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If movies have taught me anything important it is this: No matter how much money you are making as a corporate clone, you will be much happier if you threw it all away and pursued something you loved, like Julia Roberts or Charlize Theron.

Ayeler's thread about her job reminded me of the struggle I've been having about my own career. Without going into specifics (I am at work after all), I just feel trapped. I'm good at my job and I get paid decent money for it. But I don't love what I do.

Who among you actually love your job so much that you would literally do it for free?

For those of you who do not love your jobs, do you think you made the right decision? Or do you feel as I do that no one ever gets that lucky and all of us has to take on the responsibilities of adulthood and sacrifice their passions.

We can't all love our jobs right? Who is going to sweep the streets? (My secret ambition: movie critic, presidential speech writer, player-coach-owner of the clippers).

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katharina
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History professor.

Why aren't I doing this? Because I didn't go to grad school after undergrad for serious personal reasons, and...

Okay, I can't think of a follow-up to that.

Yes, I can. Because I'm scared a little spitless about not having a safety net. If I go broke, then I'm stuck. That's it. I could go home if I were seriously one step from homeless, but that's about the only scenario. In a sad, sad way, my job is the only stable thing I have at the moment. I do plan on making the leap, but I'm scared.

And broke, except not flat broke. I feel a bit like Scarlett O'Hara in that regard - if for some reason you're not secure and feel completely on your own, there's no amount of monetary safety cushion that can make you feel so.

Added: It also cant' come from another person. This isn't a matter of just not at the moment having someone that loves me. I felt the same way when I was with Michael, too. It's something else.

[ April 29, 2004, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: katharina ]

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Farmgirl
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This is the first job I've had in life that I truly can say I love what I do, and more importantly, love the group I work with (that seems to make the difference between good jobs and bad -- not the TYPE of work, but the TYPE of people you work with).

But I was 40 years old before I found this -- so I went through a lot of jobs where I was not happy.

I don't know that I would do it for free, exactly. (Just because of the cost of gas going back and forth, and getting up early) but I do often help people with their PCs voluntarily, and I like teaching new users about their PCs, etc. So I know I like what I do, it feels natural.

Of course I'd rather just stay at home and be a farmer or run my own lawn service. (those things I would do for free) But I'm also real happy just right here.

FG

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katharina
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I have to say that I do usually like my job. I get to travel a little bit, I do editing and graphic design and writing and project planning, and I love the organization I work for. I come close to setting my own hours. There's nothing hugely negative except that it's not busy enough - I am, as at the moment, bored out of my mind.

It's not challenging, but I do feel like I'm part of something that makes a difference. I love that feeling.

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Lara
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I feel like I'll always be in a position where I can only take jobs that more wealthy and powerful people have the means to set up for me, because I'm not smart enough to be an entrepeneur. Does that make sense? I want to work in international education, but I don't know that I'll be able to support myself if I do what I really want to do. That's why I'm getting training in Web design, which I think is fun, but at the same time- I hate it that I have to look to trends to decide how I'm going to survive, and I can't be sure I'll make it if I follow my heart. Maybe because I am a pansy.
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Fishtail
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I wanted to be an astronaut. For various reasons (some of them my fault, some of them not) that obviously didn't work out. But I do love the career and lifestyle that I have right now. I can think of other jobs that I could conceivably do and would enjoy, and I will switch jobs eventually, but for now, yep, I love what I've been doing for the past 12 years.

Would I do it for free? I dunno, I gotta eat at some point...

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mackillian
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I don't at the moment.

*thinks*

I'd be a clinical psychologist for free. Do research for free. Be a neuropsychologist for free. Be a photographer for free. Be a writer for free.

Doing ALL of them? I'd die happy happy happy.

But I need to get my phd to do the neuro/clinical psych--but then I can do both.

To do my photography, I need to figure out how to really get a business going. Any advice?

Right now...I need to figure out what to do until I start my PhD (a year, I'm hoping).

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Farmgirl
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One of the best jobs I had in the past, for my personality, was when I worked as a nurse aide in a nursing home.

I love the elderly people. I loved listening to them talk, and helping them, and loving them clear to their deaths. I loved feeling like I made a difference in their lives, and I love the feeling when some of them would TELL me how much they loved me and liked having me there to help them. I liked giving them hugs when I would tuck them in bed at night.

but the pay sucks.... so most people can't keep working in that kind of position long...

Farmgirl

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Farmgirl
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Maybe we should put this thread in THIS context: (because it is hard to wrap our minds around doing certain jobs for free, since we HAVE to have money to survive)...

...would you do your current job if you lived in a communal structure where there was no monetary system (Think Star Trek ships -- everyone has a job, room and board are provided, etc.) In that kind of scenario, where no one gets paid, what job would you choose?

Farmgirl

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UofUlawguy
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I grew up thinking that loving one's job was natural, and that the TV shows and comic strips I saw that showed otherwise were talking about exceptions to the rule. This was because my dad, an electrical engineer, absolutely loves what he does. He always has. He always knew exactly what he wanted to do, and he got to do it.

When I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do, it worried me. I thought there was something wrong with me. But try as I might, I couldn't follow my dad's example. The best I could do is find something I could enjoy, be good at, and make a decent living doing. I think that's what I have done.

But I am really envious of my dad and people like him.

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KarlEd
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I don't love my job, but I do love the life I can live outside my job, which I wouldn't be able to do if I didn't have a job at least as good as the one I have. I don't hate my job either. I really like the people I work with, too. I wouldn't do my job for free. I wouldn't even do it with a major pay-cut if I could find something else that paid what I'm making now or better.

I think of my job as a means, not an end in itself. And if it can help me reach my goal of financial independence at 55 then I can put up with quite a lot of crap.

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Fishtail
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For FG's definition, yes, I dig my career that much.
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mr_porteiro_head
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I can't say that I love my job. I have never had a job in my life that I liked. But compared to the others, this is the best one I have ever had.

The mere fact that I *have* to go to work I think will always keep me from loving work. If I were independently wealthy, and could work (or not) as I pleased, *then* I think I could find a job that I really liked.

I figure that work is supposed to be, well, work. Unfortunately, I'm not an adolescent any more, and I have to do things I don't want to. That's just my take.

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dangermom
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Well, at the moment I'm a SAHM, so I do do it for free. [Razz] But I'm also a librarian, which I love. I still keep my hand in by doing various small things around the local library, either for free or in one case being employed by the Friends group.

Library work can be very quiet, or it can be very trying--when every oddball in town comes in, or parents keep leaving their 8-year-old children alone for hours, or obnoxious people try to insist on hogging the Internet terminals for hours on end. But mostly it's pretty great, since you're spending your days among books and people who want to find books. By FarmGirl's definition, I love my job. (Both of them.)

DangerDad writes cancer treatment software for a living. If he didn't have to, he'd still write software, though perhaps not that. The work itself he enjoys, it's just the awful pressure he's under most of the time, and some other things about the office, that get to him.

[ April 29, 2004, 01:58 PM: Message edited by: dangermom ]

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jeniwren
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I love what I do. Sure, there are times when I don't love it. There have been times when I've hated it. But overall, I really do love it.

I started this job in 1999 when the tech boom was cresting and the pace of work was insane as we were frantically trying to get all our customers ready for Y2K. I'd spent the previous 8 years preparing for such a time as then. It all came together as our team of techs pulled together. I knew most of them before I started, and I was replacing one of my heroes as he went on to another department.

I'll never forget that first week. I took a call from Sylvia, a routinely nominated Customer We'd Most Like To Assassinate. When she heard my unfamiliar voice on the line, her response was (in Argentinian accent), "Jennyfair? I do not know a Jennyfair. Have you been there long?" When I admitted it was my first week, she said, "Oh, then you do not know anytheeng." I insisted that she give me a try anyway. I knew the answer and gave it to her without missing a beat. She hung up, and from then on would not deal with anyone else but me. Known for loud ranting at the slightest provocation, I knew I had truly tamed the beast when some months later I gave her some bad advice causing a substantial amount of recovery work, not only did she forgive me when I apologized for my mistake, she went on to say "Eet could happen to anyjuan, Jennyfair. Don't worry about eet." The truth is that from that first call, I genuinely liked Sylvia and enjoyed her fiery directness. Working with skilled people, even if they are a bit hot-tempered, is a true joy to me.

Since our legacy product (the stuff I've made my career on) lost its platform due to old age and obscelescence, we've gone through a real roller coaster. We were sold to a group of VCs. We went from 100+ employees to just 18. Nobody specializes...we can't afford to. So now I don't just do tech support, I am eyeball deep in implementation, and am writing our documentation. Occassionally, I do QA work, which I genuinely hate and am very bad at. But it's exciting because we're in the midst of installing our Windows based product at the first three sites, and I'm as deep in it as anyone else. It means getting to work alongside people with much greater skills in a team environment I really love. I bring 15 years of industry experience to the table...they bring technical skills I'm sopping up like a kid at the candy store. It's fun...it's frustrating, as only brand new software can be...and it's invigorating.

I wouldn't say I would do this job for free, but looking back at last year when we weren't sure if we were going to get paid, and we all took huge pay cuts to keep the company going, I guess I have to say I *have* done this job for free, and while that part of it wasn't fun, I'm hopeful that in another year or so, I can say that the sacrifices were well worth it.

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Xaposert
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Jobs I've had that I didn't like:
Assistant Manager at Blockbuster Video (too streesful)
Marketing Intern in Postal Service bureaucracy(too pointless)
Administrative Clerk (too boring)

Jobs I've had that I did like:
Basketball Referee and Basketball Coach
Tutor

The only problem is that the latter jobs paid little or nothing and were very much only part time.

Thus I remain unhappy career-wise and would greatly appreciate anybody who could direct me to a full-time paying job that I'd actually like. [Wink]

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Ayelar
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Tres, how do you feel about moving tables?

[Wink] [Big Grin]

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T_Smith
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I'm working for AOL right now in registrations. I rarely, RARELY get any calls. Yesterday the system crashed and I still only got 5 calls the entire day. I went about a week without getting any calls at all. I usually read books, get on hatrack, yesterday I took a nap. I hate it. Makes me feel unvalued. But then again, I'm not entirely certain where I would like to work, what I'd like to do for a living.
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Synesthesia
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I work at a supermarket
I do not like it. The time drags by slowly because I am not listening to good music or reading or playing video games.
I want to write. As long as it did not have to have a strict style I'd do it for free in a moneyless culture or work at the library.
Or sit under a tree as an amateur philosopher.

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Book
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To me... I don't expect to like my job. But I do expect to like and love the family that I'd be supporting. That's how it should work, right? Your family defines you, not your job?
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Xaposert
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Speaking of writing jobs that I might do for free.... should I list Jatraquero on my job list?
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saxon75
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I don't often enjoy my job anymore, and although some of the aspects of my outside life that my job enables are good (for example, every other Friday off and enough money to work on my debt in a rasonable time frame while still leaving enough to have a comfortable life), in other ways my job is horribly intrusive (for example, every time I leave the country I have to fill out a big pile of paperwork). Sometimes when I think that this is what I will be doing for the rest of my life I get very depressed. But I haven't come across any other options that would allow me to live the way I want to.

Come to think of it, I've had very few jobs that I didn't actively dislike. Being a typist for a title insurance company bored me, as did working the register at my mom's store. And I absolutely hated being a waiter. But there have been a few I liked. I spent two summers working at the Monterey Bay Aquarium (first as a volunteer guide and then as a presentations intern) and loved it. And when I was a tutor for Upward Bound I had a lot of job satisfaction. But those just won't pay the bills.

My hope is that eventually the economy will turn around to the point where I can join (or start) a startup company, get acquired, and use the proceeds to let me do something I enjoy, and that this will happen before I get to the point where I really feel stuck. Five or six years ago I could have gone for a startup with little hesitation, because if it failed then I could always come crawling back to a big company. These days the outlook is a bit more grim.

And what kinds of jobs do I think I would enjoy? In no particular order: movie critic, director (film or stage), actor, musician, teacher (high school or college), writer. Of course, whether or not I'd be any good at those jobs is a different story.

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pooka
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mack- what kind of photography business? Being in business is a lot like having a job but your customers are your boss. I guess there is commercial photography where you take pictures for ads and stuff. Just my first thought was wedding photography. There are actually some wedding photographers who still make an art of it.

But I have a major "you can't make a living doing art" hangup. I mean, if I were to do art, either photography or stained glass or writing, it would have to be icing on top of my "real job."

And I'm capable of enjoying some really mind numbing "real jobs". What was that test a couple of weeks back and I tested as a natural blue collar worker or administrative assistant?

P.S. I've had those jobs and while there is some malaise and ennui, I don't think it would be any less than what I have as a SAHM or for most jobs unless I could be a revolutionary architect. You know? Like I know if I were a pharmacist or a high school teacher or even a Linguistics professor I would find it as unsatisfying as what I'm doing.

My husband loves being a massage therapist, but it's a sacrifice for us financially.

[ April 29, 2004, 04:45 PM: Message edited by: pooka ]

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pH
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I don't work right now. Actually, I'm still in college, so I won't have a full-time job for a few years.

In high school, though, I worked with bands. Promotion, management, merchandise sales. I know what you're all going to say because I heard it hundreds of times, and not from my parents, "Yeah, but when are you going to get a _real_ job?" Real job? What the hell does that mean? Do I have to be miserable and flipping burgers before what I do is actually considered "work?" At any rate, at that time I worked for free or for very little, depending on who I was working for. Over the summer I'm probably taking a (most likely unpaid) internship at a recording studio.

But honestly, if it came down to it, I ultimately wouldn't be able to do it for free. I know that once I'm out of school, I won't be happy unless I'm making a decent living. Maybe I'm too materialistic or shallow or something, but I just wouldn't feel as though I were accomplishing anything unless I could afford to live comfortably.

-pH

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mackillian
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Yeah, wedding photography and portraiture is what I was considering, with fine art on the side.
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punwit
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I'd have to agree with KarlEd. I don't love my job but I don't hate it either. I do love being self-employed. I do love being in a job where the scenery and aspects of my work change, (interior and exterior house painter). I have a partner that I (usually) get along with.

So, there you have it, there are some things I like about my job but no I wouldn't do it for free.

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Suneun
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I met a woman in a shuttle from the LA airport a few months ago who works to help people realize their dreams. She finds the information they need, the people they need to talk to, the steps they need to take.

It's something I'd really enjoy doing. I'm a very planning/organizing/J-on-Myers-Briggs kinda person. Though I can see how that kind of job can make you feel a little inadequate if that's your whole job: seeing other people do what they really want to do.

But maybe as a hobby it would be great.

I've also always wanted to start my own business. But this is just a vague idea, nothing concrete.

I'm happy with my med school route. It's just a lot of pressure with the don't-you-dare-mess-up-you'd-better-know-EVERYTHING vocation.

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Farmgirl
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Fishtail -- what do you do for a living?

FG

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Ayelar
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quote:
Real job? What the hell does that mean? Do I have to be miserable and flipping burgers before what I do is actually considered "work?" At any rate, at that time I worked for free or for very little, depending on who I was working for.
Well, for one thing, once you graduate you quickly discover that "working for free or for very little" is not an option. Unless you have a trust fund. [Smile] When you're living on your parent's dime, sure, you can do whatever makes you happy and not worry about the money. But when you have to pay for rent, loans, bills, food, and still have enough money to have a little fun.... you might just have to suck it up and take something, even if it makes you miserable. [Smile] Or so I'm learning.

I never should have graduated. Which is hilarious to see myself type, considering how much I loathed being a student here. Loaaaathed. [Smile]

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Homestarrunner
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I work as a marketing writer in a great department in a great company. When I first heard about the department, I immediately wanted to work there. And it hasn't been disappointing in the almost 3 years I've worked here. Most of the time the work is fun, challenging, and interesting. I get to be a creative type, which is fun. I get all the design software that the designers use, and that's fun to play around with. And I'm finally on Mac OS X after hanging around for a few years on OS 9. Lots of fun. [Smile]

I can't say I'd do it for free, however. If I were going to do any work for free, it would be Flash. I love that program and I love creating Flash stuff. I would probably do most design work in general for free, but that's because I want to learn more about design and learning is what's so much fun.

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Phanto
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The best skill is, of course, being able to love what you do no matter what it is. But, failing that, do what you love. Still, if what you love is having a family, that might compromise what you do for your career.

It's a 1 sum game. [Wink]

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Megachirops
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That's a complicated question.

I love to teach. I have and do teach for free, in addition to doing it for pay. All anyone has to do is ask, and sometimes I also offer. However, I don't like paperwork, and I'm ambivalent about grading. And then there's also the politics. Right now I work in an environment where I feel insulated from any politics, and the last three years have been among my most enjoyable in teaching. (Which makes it lucky I got this job, because three years ago I was all set to leave the field.) I am truly happy with my job.

I was also truly happy when I was a summer camp head counselor. And I may have been a better head counselor than I am a teacher. However, that job is not logistically compatible with being a husband and a father of two. If I had started that job a few years earlier, my career may have taken a very different course.

Actually, that's an important point. Loving your job only gets you so far if you can't pay the bills. Most couples break up over financial considerations. You can't be a good Daddy if you're snapping at everyone because you're stressing over making ends meet, or if you work so much overtime you're never home, or you never get any sleep. It's not mercenary to decide that money is important.

Though I am happy as a teacher and I was also happy as a counselor, my desire was and continues to be to be able to make a living writing fiction. And I do have regrets. I took what I now consider to be bad advice. I wish I had gambled a few years on my dream. As Stephen King discovered, it's virtually impossible to write when you're a full-time teacher. That's why he quit the job. I wish someone had told me that a "fall-back" is for after you give up, not for before you try. I still write, though. A little bit every night, and a lot mroe during the summer. The last year has seen a decrease in my productivity, because I have had to take several courses, but now that's over, and my love for writing is still there.

So, um, yeah.
[Smile]

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Lara
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Mac, my sister is trying to go on her own in portrait photography. She says digital is the only way to go if you want to be competetive, and if you're doing wedding portraits it's good to hook up with people who do video and offer your services together. Most of the people she knows who have gone on their own with photography started in a studio for a few years, I don't know if you've done that before but she said the stuff she learned about the business and the networking she did with people in the industry while she was working for someone else has been helpful.
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Fishtail
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FG, I work for the US Air Force.
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Megachirops
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And as far as the "Would you do it for free" question, I interpret it as "Would you do more than you are required to, put in overtime, without getting paid for it, at the expense of watching TV, reading, or doing a hobby." Because, of course, we all need to make a living. So few if any of use could say that we could literally afford to do a job for free. But I interpret it to mean, basically, "Would you do it for fun?"

-o-

Whenever this topic comes up, it's because somebody wishes he or she had pursued art, or because somebody wants to become a teacher. Well, I'm not full-time artist. But I can talk a little bit about the teaching career. I just said I love my job, and I do. But I also very nearly left the profession. I had job options out of teaching and decided to take this teaching job a mile from my house as my last chance teaching job. I have seen many many people discover that this job is not for them.

Everybody thinks it's just playing with adoring kids all day long. Not all kids will adore you, not all parents will adore you, and not all of your colleagues and administrators will adore you. And lesson planning and grading are work. And they are work you generally can't do while you are teaching. (And we all know about the pay, so I won't go there.) So I'm not saying not to quit your career and become a teacher. I'm just saying the grass is not always greener on the other side. Teaching has to be right for who you are, in terms of your personality. And even if it is, the finances or the politics might still make it a bad choice for you, as they almost did for me.

I have mixed feelings about the fact that everyone seems to think that my job would be a fun alternative to a "real job." And that everybody seems to think they could do it. I don't want to discourage anybody, just possibly open some eyes. Statements like "The grass is always greener on the other side," become clichés because there is truth to them.

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jeniwren
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Oh...and in fairness to the "would you do it for free" and my answer that "I have done it for free" I should say that last year we didn't really *need* my income, so not getting paid for my job wasn't too big a deal (though my husband would probably disagree). That and the potential pay for the job I do now could not be found at any other job. So if I were the claustrophobic type, I might not like my job simply because I can't leave and get the same amount of money anywhere else. It's a unique situation.
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saxon75
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Once, when I found out that Icarus had left a software position at a national lab in order to become a teacher, I told him he was my hero. That hasn't changed.
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Slash the Berzerker
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I have never liked any job I ever had, and I would be willing to bet I have had a wider variety of jobs than just about anyone else on this board.

So, I came to the inescapable conclusion that I just plain hate working. In any form. For me, working is selling my life to someone. Life is what happens before and after work.

With that realization came the obvious next step, which is to get the maximum amount of money for each hour of my life I sell. That has been my only motivation since. I know I will hate my job, no matter where I go, so I always go to the highest bidder.

It allows me to have fun during my actual (non work) life.

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Toretha
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I loved my old job at a resturant, kept it all 4 years of high school and worked it in addition to a full time job over the summer, just to put off having to leave. several times, i've gone back there and just done some of what used to be my job just for fun. Best job anyone could ever have for a first job.
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romanylass
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I work as director of mychurch nursery, with all that goes with it.

I would do the hands on, with the kids work and the committee meetings for free ( but don't tell my church that)

I would proably do the lesson plannig for free too. (I write them from scratch, stories and all).

But payroll, budget, ect, THAT i would not do for free.

I do wish I could get more hours/money doing this though.

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pH
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I realize that much, Ayelar. As I said, ultimately I'm not really willing to do anything for free. But I think it's worth pointing out that all of those working for little or nothing jobs that I had in high school gave me an amazing resume that got me a full ride to college, making the overall payoff way more, per hour, than any fast-food job. [Big Grin]

[ April 29, 2004, 04:51 PM: Message edited by: pH ]

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Farmgirl
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Xaposert -- you wrote:

quote:
Jobs I've had that I did like:
Basketball Referee and Basketball Coach
Tutor

So why don't you become a teacher? It sounds like a natural thing for you..

Farmgirl

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pooka
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mack, I've often been inspired by the Busaths: portrait and fine art photographers
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Xaposert
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quote:
So why don't you become a teacher? It sounds like a natural thing for you..
Thought (and still think) about it, for just those reasons. Problems are that I'm a shy publicspeakingophobe for one thing, and that I find the idea of trying to maintain control of a classroom full of people who may not want to be there highly stressful for another thing. It also would require a good deal more education which, though I'd be perfectly happy to be more educated, is costly.
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Danzig
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Currently, I monitor servers, and call people if the server has a problem. My job pays good money, and I am lucky to have it. Other than the long hours (6 am - 6 pm) it is probably the most enjoyable job I will ever have. I doubt I would do it for fun.

None of the things I enjoy doing are activities you get paid for, so I am not going to bother trying to make myself like a career I do not. Work at a job you love? Work sucks; if it did not you would be doing it for free. Therefore, the obvious choice is to get paid money for doing nothing. That sounds like the job description of a landlord to me. So the current plan is work at my current job for as long as I can, as much as I can, and save the money until I can take out a mortgage on an apartment complex.

They say that you should set financial goals for yourself. Examples often given are paying off debt(s) (I have none) or owning your own home (why not own several families' homes?). My goal is to reach my 35th birthday (my 20th birthday is in six days) and never have to work again, ever, for any reason. That would be an occupation I would thoroughly enjoy.

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pooka
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Danzig- Straight savings would take a few lifetimes to get the down on an apartment building of any size. You'll probably need to trade your way up.
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rivka
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Not necessarily, pooka. OTOH, unless you pay someone to manage your building, there is a LOT of work (at all hours of the day) involved in owning an apartment building.
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Danzig
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I will have to start with something small, but I have anywhere from one fourth to one third of the initial down payment already saved. I am in a very lucky situation right now with few bills and a good job. I may do a 4plex first or something; I need to study more finance books and save more cash. Also, I may start investing in stocks rather than real estate first; the plan is not set in stone.

As for management, that is why the goal is 35 rather than 25. [Smile]

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ClaudiaTherese
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I love my work, and if someone would pay my electric bill, cover rent, and stock the fridge, I'd do it for free. Hands down, no questions asked -- practicing medicine is holding a ringside seat on humanity.

quote:
I have never liked any job I ever had, and I would be willing to bet I have had a wider variety of jobs than just about anyone else on this board.
*grin

Slash, can ya top this?

- wearing the Billy Bob suit at a ChuckECheese
- hospice care for infants
- outdoor landscape maintenance
- waitress (black-tie and informal) at a country club
- math tutor
- philosophy tutor
- teaching philosophy at university
- pathology lab instructor
- physician
- running mock interviews for college students
- research assistant on the decision-making process of pregnant women
- running a conservative Episcopelian infant nursery
- poolside bartending

And more, I'm sure, but that's all I can think of at first go. All those jobs, at one time or another, helped pay the rent. At one time in undergraduate days, I was juggling six at once.

Jill-of-Many-Menial-Trades,
aka CT

[ April 29, 2004, 08:22 PM: Message edited by: ClaudiaTherese ]

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Megachirops
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*blush*

Now look what you made me do!

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