It’s not that I don’t talk to my dad, because I do. I visit him once or twice every month and we talk several times every week. But the voice he has now is not his voice.
It started about a year and a half ago with what appeared to be a cold or laryngitis. The first few times I talked to him, I would always cringe. It was too easy to imagine the pain, except, Dad said there wasn’t any pain. When his voice didn’t improve, I encouraged him to go to the doctor, eventually he did.
The initial diagnosis was acid reflux, which really wasn’t surprising. My father was born with a birth defect that causes acid reflux. He’s also a smoker and a drinker, both of which, we’ve been told, can contribute to acid reflux. He was put on medication and given a CAT scan.
Around this time, I went on vacation. My mom joins me for the second week, with instructions not to tell me anything unless I ask. I don’t ask, assuming Dad would have called or Mom would have told me if anything was wrong (I understand their reasoning, but I still don’t like it). Returning home, I learn that the CAT scan had shown that Dad had a small growth in his throat. He’d already had an endoscopy to explore the growth, but the endoscopy found nothing. That was probably the worst conversation I have had in my life. I was crying because I thought my dad had cancer and because I was relieved he didn't have cancer. It was not fun.
Nothing more happened with my father for a while. None of his doctors know what to make of his case. They’d never seen anything this severe. He went to see a speech therapist and continued his medication.He didn’t get worse, but he didn’t get better.
My dad called me on Father’s day. His throat has gotten so bad it’s interfering with his breathing. Surgery has been recommended. The procedure, a suspended micro laryngoscopy, will be done today (Tuesday). And because cancer has become a possibility again, they’ll also be doing a biopsy on the tissue that is removed.
There are so many things I want right now. I want him to come through surgery okay. I want to know what’s wrong with him. I don’t want him to have cancer.
But most of all I just want to hear his voice again.
Good luck with that, I don't know what to say other than that. I hope you are ok with whatever happens, and that your father is ok and pulls through his surgery well. And I hope that his voice is ok, although that would be last on my list of wishes for you. His health and well being is the first, of course.
I hope you won't mind if i say a prayer tonight for you both.
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((((((((((Risuena)))))))))) Since I've been in this kind of situation, I know it can be very hard. Hold on. There will be better days.
Posts: 3526 | Registered: Oct 2001
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I thought maybe you really meant to say (longing) to hear your dad's voice when I first read the post - I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
Posts: 5609 | Registered: Jan 2003
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Risuena, I hope your dad will be OK. When he is, and if his voice is still affected, you will come to love the sound of it, I bet.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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(((((((((((Risuena))))))))))))) (((((((((((((((((((Risuena's dad)))))))))))))))))) Something like this happened to my uncle not long ago. We were really worried, but he came out fine (and still smokes a pack of cigarettes a day). Hopes and prayers for your dad.
Posts: 550 | Registered: Jan 2004
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I'll be thinking of you today, hon. I'm sure things will be better soon, and we can have that movie night sometime. (I haven't forgotten that we seemed to have similar taste in movies )
Posts: 1664 | Registered: Apr 2004
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(((Risuena))) P.S. I hope this doesn't make you feel worse, but it reminds me of a story my mom used to tell that the first time she knew she loved my dad was when he called her on the phone and she realized how much she missed his voice. I guess I'm saying I know it seems like a little thing but it can be so important.
P.P.S. Funny how few of us here on hatrack know what most of the others sound like. Wouldn't it be cool if we had a .wav database like foobonic?
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I just talked to my dad. He's doing fine. They're keeping him overnight but it's already easier for him to breathe and to talk. Hopefully they'll tell us what they found tomorrow morning, so we know what's next.
Thank you all for your prayers and thoughts, it's really helped a lot.
Posts: 959 | Registered: Jan 2002
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I just talked to my dad again. The doctor told him that the throat surgery was only a temporary fix. And we'll get the biopsy results next week. So we just get to wait and see now.
My dad's feeling a lot better now (good enough to go to work tomorrow), so I'm happy for that even if nothing is really resolved yet.
Posts: 959 | Registered: Jan 2002
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Well, it's probably past time to update this thread as much as it sucks.
I drove my dad to the hospital on monday so that the doctors could remove his larnyx and lymph nodes. Other than finding that the cancer had spread a bit farther than rpeviously thought, which meant all of the lymph nodes in his neck had to be removed, the surgery went well. He'll be in the hospital for up to a week and hopefully after radiation, he'll be cured.
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They're going to put in an implant, I'm not exactly sure what it's called, so he should be able to speak without a mechanical voicebox, but they're already starting to work with him using a mechanical one because it generally takes a while to learn esophageal speech.
And he now has a stoma in his neck through which he breaths.
Posts: 959 | Registered: Jan 2002
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