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» Hatrack River Forum » Active Forums » Books, Films, Food and Culture » How Not To Be a Maid of Honor

   
Author Topic: How Not To Be a Maid of Honor
BannaOj
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#1 Don't drop the ring
#2 Don't drop the ring
#3 Don't drop the ring...

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Mean Old Frisco
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#4 Don't fart.
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Synesthesia
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#5 Don't wear a lampshade and flirt too much with the groom.
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fallow
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don't do both of those in combo or don't do either, individually?
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rivka
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Oops! [Eek!] Where'd the ring end up, AJ?
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BannaOj
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Actually #1 should be have a bride who loves you like a sister and loves you even in spite of the fact that if anyone is going to drop the ring you are.

The bride was beautiful. The best man gave me the appropriate ring just before the ceremony. Being a large mans ring I slipped it on my middle finger but it was still loose. It fell off when I went to adjust the bride's 6 foot train, after she walked up the aisle.

After one of the purest moments of sheer panic I have ever experienced, I had my mother start backtracking my footsteps. The bridesmaid next to me and I started scanning the ground. I shifted my position slightly and realized that the ring had fallen to the ground before I'd gotten to the train (I was having visions of attempting to scramble around underneath the bride's train that weren't pretty).

Anyway when I'd gotten back to my position my own dress had covered it up on the ground. I stooped down and picked it up and the crisis was averted. It was apparently highly entertaining to the audience.

AJ

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rivka
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(((((AJ))))) Oy! Good that you can laugh about it now . . . and very kind of you to provide entertainment for the guests!
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Mrs.M
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AJ, that reminded me of Ramona Forever, when Aunt Bea gets married - the ring goes flying and gets caught around Aunt Bea's heel as she steps back to see where it landed. No one saw where it went but Ramona, who has to kneel down and retrieve it.

So you're in good company. [Smile]

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fallow
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indeed. [Smile]
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katharina
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That's awesome, AJ.
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Zevlag
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Ramona Quimby, gotta love that girl! It's been FOREVER since I have read those books [Wink]

Err, did I say I read them? umm. not I didn't [Wink] They're GIRL books. hehe

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Annie
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Hee hee [Big Grin]

I'm sure you were lovely.

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Shan
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Don't pick your nose while you carry the pillow bearing the ring, either.

(Compliments of my 3 year old nephew)

[Big Grin]

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Anna
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Don't worry AJ, one of our Wisdoms dropped Vincent's ring and we don't blame her at all. Actually it was quite funny.
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pooka
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There's nothing like a little diversion to make a wedding memorable. The last wedding I was at they couldn't get the unity candle to light so the groom finally got the scripto lighter they had lighted their little candles by and lit the big unity candle.
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Corwin
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Hehe, I remember the part with the ring from Anna's wedding ! And I thought it was funny too [Big Grin] By the way, Anna, what happened to the photos from your wedding ? If I remember correctly, you said you have sent them to Foobonic. Any news on that ?
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Anna
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I sent them to Hobbes 'cause foobonic was down. Since it works again, I will send them to Ralphie as soon as I have time to do so.
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Anna
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Unity candle ? Which rite is it ? It sounds beautiful...
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Rakeesh
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That's got to be the matrimonial equivalent of not breaking under fire! Good save, it sounds like:)
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Dagonee
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Grace under fire is far more valuable than good manual dexterity. [Hat]

Dagonee

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BannaOj
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Everything else went quite well. There was a little snag with the officiant being late, and the recycled garter was an interesting moment as well.

The officiant was printing out a lovely scripted parchment of the ceremony for a keepsake, and apparently had a computer snafu that made her late.

The recycled garter convienently took care of the "borrowed" part of the "old, new, borrowed, blue" bit. I assumed she bought a garter when she bought the rest of her wedding underthings, only to find out the morning of the wedding that there was no garter. The wedding was scheduled for 8am due to the Arizona heat, so it wasn't like we could just run out and buy one either. Anyway it turned out the groom had a garter that he had caught at a previous wedding. So while it was a bit unorthodox for the bride to borrow the garter from the groom, it all worked out fine! It wasn't exactly an "orthodox" wedding to begin with.

The other thing that was interesting was the astonishing number of PhDs in various subjects on the grooms side of the family. They were a delight to talk to and I got along with them ok but they couldn't quite figure out why I didn't have a PhD.

AJ

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Christy
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How not to be a bride:
#1: Don't wear your engagement ring on your wedding day.

I had a sheer moment of horror when Tom put the ring on my finger and we both discovered that I already had a ring there!

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Anna
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I almost did that one ! At the last moment I decided not to wear it (I though about wearing it on the other hand, but it didn't match with my dress and jewels)
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Dan_raven
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It could have been worse. We've all seen the Fox Videos showing the real #1 bridesmade mistake--a quicky with the groom before the wedding.
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celia60
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there's always a snag. it's just a matter of how gracefully you handle the snag.

by not running down the aisle after her immediatly, you have been successfully graceful.

[Wink]

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Annie Mayhem
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There's a HUGE archive of wedding (and other) horror stories at Etiquette Hell (www.etiquettehell.com). They'll keep you entertained for hours!

-=AM=-

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Elizabeth
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"How not to be a bride:
#1: Don't wear your engagement ring on your wedding day."

Actually, you really are supposed to wear it, on your right hand. Then, after the band goes on, you put the engagement ring on. That is why they sell matched rings.

AJ, I believe you lived out the dreams/nightmares of many a wedding-support person. Just be careful when you get married, and remember to put on your dress before you walk down the aisle!

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skillery
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Old Frisco:

quote:
#4 Don't fart
Actually, I attending a wedding at which the bride accidentally let one fly at the altar. Stress, I guess.
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Elizabeth
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"Actually, I attending a wedding at which the bride accidentally let one fly at the altar. Stress, I guess."

Ahhhhh, another of someone's nightmares come true!

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BannaOj
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maybe I'll have a wiccan ceremony, then I won't have to worry about acoutrements...

[Wink]
AJ

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Suneun
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Sky-clad wedding, eh AJ? [Big Grin]
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Kwea
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::snorts::
sky-clad? Why would I wish the sight of my fat as....nevermind...

My nephew was our ring bearer and the pillow he carried had a fake ring on it so he wouldn't drop it. We didn't tell him that though...and halfway through the ceremony the fake ring fell off, and he went into a panicked frenzy looking for it, afraid of ruining our wedding.... [Big Grin]

Kwea

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Jalapenoman
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At my wedding to my first wife, we could not get the rings off of the stupid little pillow. The knots were tightened down really hard to that they did not fall off. I had to whip out my pocket knife and cut them off.

At my brother's wedding (I was the best man), he could not get the ring to fit on his wife's finger. I kept asking him if he was sure it was the correct finger, and they both assured me it was. I told them just to shove it as far as it would go and I would get it re-sized while they were on their honeymoon. At the reception, we discovered, to all of our embarrasment (bride, groom, best man, maid of honor, and minister) that my brother had put the wedding ring on the ring finger of her "right" hand instead of her left. She then spent thirty minutes in the bathroom with soap trying to get it off and switch hands.

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Anna
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Sometimes the ring can't be put on the finger because they grow bigger with stress. I know a bunch of people who lived that.
Not me, hopefully. One "ring error" at a time is perfect for me. [Big Grin]

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