posted
Some may, or may not, have noticed that I’ve been gone for a few weeks here. If you haven’t noticed, feel free to skip this. Basically I just feel like since I have been gone for a … non-traditional reason I owe some sort of explanation before I come back, so here it is.
[NOTE: this is probably pretty bad writing, and overly dramatic, I’m just guessing because it’s 1:00am here, and my writing tends to have both those qualities when I’m tired. Sorry ]
Well not yet actually, because I want to preface it with a discussion I had with Tom (and numerous other people at KamaCon) and then maybe this will be an interesting discussion itself instead of just an announcement.
Tom threw me an insult, and then asked me if it hurt, and pointed out that other hurt for me, shouldn’t I be hurt? I told him, no, I wasn’t hurt, and then a discussion ensued there. Well I’m not sure exactly what conclusion was drawn from all that, but I have some more input on the matter. I’m not typically hurt by people telling me that I’m in some way lacking, be it something as inane as “you’re stupid” or something much more complex, it doesn’t matter. Basically I see any such comment as choice, either I can accept this persons sub-standard view of me, or I can choose not to. The only reason for me to be hurt by their comments is if I let them be true, and if I choose not to then really all that’s happening is that person is wrong, and why should that hurt me? It’s easy enough to see that a comment about what someone else sees as being true doesn’t effect what really is true unless I let it. So I don’t, and it doesn’t hurt.
I don’t know, maybe this was just a defense mechanism I developed in high school or something, or maybe it was a result me trying to figure out how my brain worked and processed emotions when I converted, either way, it’s what I do, and why insults don’t really hurt me.
That’s my explanation on the discussion, but I have to admit, that there is one part about it that’s false, and that’s where the me leaving for a couple of weeks comes in. When I say “the only reason for me to be hurt”, that’s not entirely true. If the person insulting me is a friend, then it does hurt. Not because I think that what they’re telling me is true now, but because the relationship I thought I had with them turns out to be a lie.
Now before we go any father, I want to say that Tom had nothing to do with any of this, I figured he was either, not being serious, or saying it in general concern, as in he saw a problem that he thought I should address and told me about it. In either case I once again, wouldn’t be hurt, no reason to in those cases. I suppose it’s possible he was trying to be insulting but that wasn’t the context I read in it. So we can all move off that point and get along with it.
A friend can hurt be with a comment because now it’s a relationship that I valued that’s been hurt, and that hurts me. The key is that when I’m friends with someone it gives them control of my emotions, well to a point anyways, because then our relationship has an emotional value to me, and now there’s someone on the other end of this line that can hurt it, and thus hurt me.
And that’s what happened, basically a lot of people on Hatrack who I consider friends seemed to very much enjoy me being hurt, and that hurt me. It hurt me enough that I didn’t really want to be around Hatrack for a while, so I left for a couple weeks.
I don’t want to get into exactly what happened, mostly because I think that most people involved realized it had any sort of effect on me at all, and if they had realized they wouldn’t have done it. So I have no interest in pointing fingers. I guess what makes me sad is that I’ve tried very, very hard from the moment I’ve joined Hatrack to not tread on people’s feelings, to be respectful and compassionate, and when it’s not returned by people I care about… well, that’s why I left.
But I’m back, and really we can all forget about it now, it’s explained, it’s done, here I am, let’s move on. Good to be home.
posted
Hey Hobbes, been on any good bike rides lately?
The Cub Scouts brought their bikes over yesterday, and we fixed em up real good. One kid was so gung ho that he went home and got his little brother's bike too. He said: "there's no way you can fix this one, the chain's too long, and the tire is crooked." Heh heh.
I'm amazed at the dads in this neighborhood who let their kids' bikes get that bad. No spare time I guess.
Hobbes, did your dad teach you how to use tools as you were growing up? As a kid, did you get tools for Christmas? I assume that you do all your own bike repairs.
posted
I'm not sure if I mentioned it or not, the week before KamaCon I went for a 100 mile ride with my Dad, that was really good. I haven't done any long rides here, but I have gotten some aero bars for my bike are working great around town.
My Dad taught me how to change a spare and do some other routine maintence, I don't really have the proper tools or know how to do much else, especially on a road bike. I've only been cycling for a year now, I really don't know that much, I just try to pay attention.
posted
My favorite tool is a spoke wrench that I picked up in Japan. Works wonders when kids come to me with bent rims and rubbing brakes.
I guess you've got those fancy carbon fiber wheels with straps instead of spokes. Not much you can do with those except toss em. (Did you read about Lance Armstrong's disposable wheels?)
So you're at Purdue now? I guess with winter coming you'll be putting the bike away and driving the WHAM MOBILE?
Posts: 2655 | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
I've got a handy, all-in-one, portable bike tool. It's nice since I can take it with me on bike trips, but it's my only set of Allan Wrenchs, and that kind of sucks when I'm at home working on my bike, since they aren't that nice for a home set.
My bike here has no carbon fiber at all, 100% Al, but my bike back in Colorado was completely reversed, now that was one sweet ride!
As for winter, we'll see what happens when winter happens, my bike is my only means of transport here, so I may be put in some difficulty when it comes to going places with ice on the ground.
posted
*hugs Hobbesy* I'm not sure what you're talking about, but take all the breaks you need but please don't go away forever. Not ever.
Posts: 26077 | Registered: Mar 2000
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posted
I suspect that Hobbes is talking about something that someone deserves a good kicking for doing, but that I hope everyone involved has now moved beyond.
And my conversation with him was on a different topic, thank God. Basically -- and I hope he won't mind my saying this, to eliminate any confusion -- I told him that it was okay to admit that Annie had imperfections in public and/or admit that people occasionally upset him, and that NOT doing so, while ostensibly noble, would only create more problems in the long run. I told him, in fact, that it was my hope that giving him this unsolicited advice would tick him off to the point where he'd admit to being ticked off. *wry laugh* But Hobbes is very good at what he does, so he didn't.
But someone (not me, and not affiliated with me) played a "prank" on him at WenchCon that, IMO, got a bit out of hand -- even though it didn't lead to disaster -- and was continued far longer than it should have been. He has a right to be upset, and I'm honestly glad that he's mentioned that he was.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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I was at KamaCon, but I assume that whatever happened happened when I wasn't there. I'm sorry you were hurt, and that others seemed to enjoy it. (And I hope you take my first line with the humor intended.) You do indeed seem to be one of the people around here who strives not to offend -- a quality I admire greatly.
As the other person whose return to Hatrack after KamaCon was somewhat delayed and who did so with an explanatory post, I welcome you back with open arms, and sign off with an homage to you.
--Pop
[Edit -- insert wink near beginning, so it's clear right away that I'm kidding.]
[ September 04, 2004, 12:17 PM: Message edited by: Papa Moose ]
Posts: 6213 | Registered: May 2001
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posted
((((Hobbes)))) I'm sorry, I know I'm at least partially involved, and no, I didn't realize you were all that upset until the very end. So I'm really sorry about that. I don't take pranks well either, and I lot of the time I'm so used to other people taking them better than me that I don't realize that they're not. I'm not sure that makes any sense, but I hope you get the idea.
In other news, I'm not sure you know about the midwest camping trip, but could you check out the thread, and let me know if you're going, because I assume if you are we'll be transported together. Posts: 4655 | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Glad to be back, thanks for the warm welcome(s).
quote:I do remember a very sweet and heartfelt email which I have yet to respond to
I rememeber that too... *cough*
quote:someone deserves a good kicking for doing
No they don't.
quote:and I hope he won't mind my saying this, to eliminate any confusion
Not in the least.
quote:I'm not sure you know about the midwest camping trip, but could you check out the thread, and let me know if you're going, because I assume if you are we'll be transported together.
posted
It would be a great shame if cons scared people AWAY from Hatrack! I'm genuinely glad to see the both of you.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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posted
CT (can I keep calling you that, or do you prefer Sara?), I'll cough when I darn well please, come heck or high-water. Really though, don't worry about writting back, think of it as a little note I slipped you in class, a smile is response enough.
Good to be back Rivka. I'll pass along the question for Annie if I get to talk to her today (about your skirt).
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Hey Hobbes, I'm glad to see you back. I had noticed your absence, but since I got those email messages from you the other day I knew that you were still around, more or less, and figured that you and Annie were both just taking a break from posting on the fourm for one reason or another. Sorry to hear that people hurt your feelings. I'm a bit hazy as to how they did that, but that's as you'd intended, I think.
In any case, good to see you.
Posts: 16059 | Registered: Aug 2000
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posted
given that i have spent years trying to cultivate an air of evil, i'll go ahead and admit that it was me and that i don't feel the least bit guilty.
go ahead and have at me, masses.
Posts: 157 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
i gladly would have, had it occured to me to do so sooner. but now it seems that it's an "issue" so i can't without being a malicious gossip, which i'm not.
Posts: 157 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Heck, I'll do it. It's silly enough that keeping it some kind of secret is only going to make it sound worse. *laugh*
Basically, celia felt like playing a prank on Hobbes. So when he loaned his pocketknife -- which was attached to his keychain -- to someone, she took the opportunity to abscond with his keys and then handed them off to blacwolve. Hobbes figured out within hours that celia had taken his keys, and started regularly asking her for them back; she routinely denied having seen them, and insisted that she had no idea where they were.
This went on for three days.
Hobbes got his keys back at literally the last possible minute, after a fair bit of panicking. IMO, it had stopped being funny probably a day earlier -- but, then, my sense of humor is probably broken.
It's exactly as minor a thing as it sounds.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
uh, that's actually worse than it was. celia didn't go with the intent of playing a prank on hobbes. celia did, however, recognize the opportunity when it presented itself. had they been tom's keys, she would have done the same thing. they just would have ended up with a different courier.
Posts: 157 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
The only reasons I didn't describe the whole thing orginally was that it was rather inconsequential, and that I don't think Celia deserves any of the blame for my temporary abscence and I figured telling the whole thing would make it look that way. Like I said orginally, what really got me the most was how many other people didn't seem to mind it, and I don't blame them either because it really was a small thing, and I doubt they thought that it did bug me. So really, putting blame or accusations for this on anyone's shoulders is counter-productive and pretty untrue.
I guess it meant more to me than someone else, mostly because I have a few things on there I simply could not afford to loose (like the key to my workplace, which I could've been fired for losing and/ payed a huge amount of money for) and the pocket knife which was a gift from my Uncle. Really I should've just been more careful and there's no way anyone could've known this. One thing I am rather sure of is that had this happened to anyone else involved, like If I'd stoledn Celia's keys and given them back at the last minute she probably wouldn't have been thrilled, but I doubt it would have long term effects at all, it would've just been a prank.
What I'm trying to say is, I'm not mad at anyone, I'm not blaming anyone, I'm not holding grudges or loosing friendships (or at least, no one is loosing mine...), it just happened. Stuff happens in a community this large, someone's going to get caught in something they would probably normally not mind, or even think was funny but it hits them at the wrong time as this did me. It doesn't have to be someone's faults, and I would think that if people wanted to they could move on, so that's what I'm doing.
posted
he knows where the culprit lives and probably has a good grasp of the floorplan. i'm sure he'll come up with something Posts: 157 | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
Actually, I'd like to take the blame for the prank, but I don't exist, and therefore couldn't possibly have done something as physical as taking keys.
And every time I see that screen name, it makes me want to take Davros as a screen name.
You were missed, Hobbes! Posts: 2506 | Registered: Jul 2003
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Basically I just feel like since I have been gone for a … non-traditional reason I owe some sort of explanation before I come back, so here it is.![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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