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This is an old joke dealing with movie, book, game quotes. Really any quote that people know can be used. It is most commonly used with, and perhaps works best with Star Wars, but it can be applied to most any quoteable thing. Here's how it works. Take a quote, remove a key word or two and replace it with the word "pants", repeat the modified quote out of context. Laugh uncontrollably. I'll start us off
Star Wars: Your lack of pants disturbs me.
Pull up! All pants, pull up!
Don't worry... Chewie and me have gotten into pants more heavily guarded that than.
We've got to be able to get a reading on those pants! Up or down!
Use the pants Luke!
Han will have those pants down! We've got to give him more time!
That blast came from those pants... that things operational!
Luke... I am your PANTS!! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
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Maj. Jeff Spender : No? Us Earthmen have a talent for ruining pants. If there are any Martians alive in those pants, they're going to grow to hate us.
Battle Beyond the Stars
Yago : This is Akir, a planet of pants with a single green spot.
Flash Gordon
Kala : Open fire. All weapons. Dispatch war rocket 'Ajax' to bring back his pants. or Princess Aura : Look! Water is leaking from her ......(maybe I should leave pants out of this one.)
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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Three years he said that. "Good night, Westley. Good work. Sleep well. I'll most likely pants you in the morning." It was a fine time for me.
Pants of Unusual Size? I don't think they exist . . .
But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own pants, or his enemy's?
We are men of action. Pants do not become us.
We face each other as God intended. Sportsmanlike. No tricks, no pants, skill against skill alone.
Unless the enemy has studied his pants--which I have.
She's been like that ever since the Fire Swamp. It's my father's failing pants that's upsetting her.
I'm sure you've discovered my deep and abiding interest in pants. At present I'm writing the definitive work on the subject.
Don't bother me with trifles; after twenty years, at last, my father's pants will be at peace.
There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Please open his pants.
THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS IS HERE FOR YOUR PANTS!
FEZZIK, tear his pants off.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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Don't touch that please, your primitive intellect wouldn't understand things with alloys and compositions and things with ... pants.
Posts: 26071 | Registered: Oct 2003
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There are times for maturity, and times when you throw it out the window and just have completely immature fun Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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There are times for pants, and there are times when you throw them out the window and have completely immature fun.
Bushisms:
"Secondly, the tactics of our—as you know, we don't have relationships with Iran. I mean, that's—ever since the late '70s, we have no contacts with them, and we've totally pantsed them. In other words, there's no pants—you can't—we're out of pants."—Annandale, Va., Aug. 9, 2004
"But the true strength of America is found in the pants of people like Travis, people who are willing to love their neighbor, just like they would like to love themselves."—Springfield, Mo., Feb. 9, 2004
"See, pants are peaceful. Pants don't attack each other. Pants don't develop weapons of mass destruction."—Milwaukee, Wis., Oct. 3, 2003
"[W]e've had leaks out of the administrative pants, had leaks out of the legislative pants, and out of the executive pants and the legislative pants, and I've spoken out consistently against them, and I want to know who the leakers are."—Chicago, Sept. 30, 2003
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I haven't been pantsed liked that since grade school.
On a long enough timeline, the pants rate for everyone drops to zero.
The pants you own end up owning you.
So come on; pants me before I lose my nerve.
Pants with this kind of honesty make me go a big rubbery one.
You have a kind of sick desperation in your pants.
After pantsing, everything else in your life got the volume turned down.
I am Jack's complete lack of pants.
You met me at a very strange time in my pants.
You don't know where I've been. You don't know where I've been. Just let us have the pants Lou.
Bob loved me because he thought my testicles were removed too. Being there, pressed against his pants, ready to cry. This was my vacation... and she ruined *everything*.
I'll bring us through this. As always. I'll carry you - kicking and screaming - and in the end you'll pants me
And then, something happened. I let go. Lost in oblivion. Dark and silent and complete. I found freedom. Losing all pants was freedom.
Bob had bitch pants
You said that if anyone ever interfers with project mayhem, even you, we gotta get his pants.
new pants built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear differential locks up. The pants crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now, should we initiate a recall? Take the number of pants in the field, A, multiply by the probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
And lastly:
Tyler Durden : Now why would you want to put a gun to your pants? Narrator : Not my pants, Tyler. Our pants.
Posts: 23 | Registered: Oct 2004
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Now that I've read all the jokes in this thread, my brain can no longer process the word "pants."
Posts: 957 | Registered: Aug 2002
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Lucy in the pants with diamonds Twist pants shout! I wanna hold your pants The long and winding pants The pants of John and Yoko The minute you let her under your pants Maxwell's silver pants Let pants be
Posts: 5957 | Registered: Oct 2001
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heh, last year when we went to go see RotK I introduced Mayday to this game. We laughed through the whole movie. (we'd both seen it before, and the theatre was pretty empty) It's jolly good fun.
Posts: 3493 | Registered: Jul 2001
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Back when I was a teenager a couple friends and I did this with song titles (mostly Metallica) and the word Badger. We were driving out to meet a couple friends who worked about 45 minutes away and we must have nearly got in an accident about 5 times we were laughing so hard. Lame I know, but a good memory nonetheless.
Posts: 1336 | Registered: Mar 2002
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A Beautiful Mind -- Petrified, Mortified, Stupified, by pants.
Finding Forrester -- How about a 10,000 word essay on why you should stay the (censored) out of my pants!
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Moby Pants The House of Seven Pants Huckleberry Pants Pants Sawyer Little Pants Anne of Green Pants A Tale of Two Pants Pants Copperfield Oliver Pants Posts: 2034 | Registered: Apr 2004
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We're going in there just like we said. Chlordane may have mechanical pants.
Chip : But we've got something he doesn't have. Gadget : Enough sense to get out of pants?
Gadget's gone too far this time, Chip. She's got these blinkin' pants facing the wrong way.
Professor Norton Nimnul: Haven't I told you never to play with my super-pants? You could devastate yourself.
Mainframe : Beach Head, I wanna talk to you about your pants Beachhead : What do you mean? I don't use pants! Mainframe : That's what I wanna talk to you about!
Cobra Commander : As of now, your little pants is deader than disco! Hmmm... Deader than disco... I like that... I would have made a great stand-up comedian.
Mighty Mouse : I can feel my pants getting lower by the minute!
Posts: 2208 | Registered: Feb 2004
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I just found one of my old notebooks full of pants jokes from last year. Some of them made me laugh so hard that i just had to post them.
Pirates of the Caribbean:
Why are the pants gone?
Stop blowing holes in my pants!
Pride of the Queens pants you are.
You have got to find yourself some pants mate.
Not without my pants!
Lord of the Rings:
Three hundred lives of men have I walked this earth and now I have no pants.
We cannot use them. Pants are entirely evil.
You can learn everything there is to know about pants in a month, and yet after a hundred years they can still surprise you.
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You know, this probably reads entirely differently to American ears/eyes... American pants are British trousers, British pants are American underpants!
Posts: 1550 | Registered: Jun 1999
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I'm quite aware of that, I'm american, but I've been to Scotland and boy did they have fun with that Posts: 3295 | Registered: Jun 2004
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Wow amira, that DOES make a difference. And I'll have to remember that when I visit the British Isles.
Posts: 6415 | Registered: Jul 2000
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What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the pants always get in the way. That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there are no pants involved.
So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive? No. You pretty much want to pants 'em too.
You've Got Mail
For me pants are just yet another way of being rejected by women.
The Godfather answers all of life's questions. What to pack for a trip? "Leave the gun, take the pants."
Do you know what, we are gonna seduce them. We're gonna seduce them with our square footage, and our discounts, and ourdeep armchairs, and... Our pants.
Mr. 152 Felony indictments? Mr. 152 insights into my pants! Oh yeah. No competing with that.
You can forgive this guy for standing you up, but you can't forgive me for this little thing... of putting you out of pants?
Pride and Prejudice
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of good pants, must be in want of a wife.
A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to pants, in a moment.
The power of doing anything with pants is always prized much by the possessor, and often without any attention to the imperfection of the performance.
I have not the smallest objection to explaining them. You either chuse this method of passing the evening because you are in each other's confidence, and have secret affairs to discuss, or because you are conscious that your pants appear to the greatest advantage in walking;—if the first, I should be completely in your way;—and if the second, I can admire you much better as I sit by the fire.
Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of pants. (this is coolest because it rhymes with the original!)
The gentlest pants in the world overcome the hardest pants in the world. That which has no pants enters where there are no pants. This shows the pants of non-action
Teaching without pants, performing without pants: that is the Master's way.
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