A man walks into a bar with a dog and the bartender says, "Hey! You can't bring that dog in here." The man responds, "It's my seeing-eye dog." "Oh, I'm so sorry. Come on in, sit down, and have a drink on me."
A short while later another man walks into the bar with a Chihuahua. "Hey mister, you can't bring that dog in here!" "It's my seeing-eye dog." "But, it's a Chihuahua!" "What?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!"
Let's try another one:
A blond walks up to a vending machine, puts in her money and gets a Coke. She sets her Coke down, puts in more money and gets a Sprite. She sets this down, puts in more money and gets a water. She continues this until finally the man behind her says, "Hey, lady, can't just I get in front of you and get my drink, then you can continue whatever you're doing?" "No Way!" the blond replies, "I'm winning!"
Alright, your turn!
Posts: 925 | Registered: Nov 2004
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The gun's handle smashed into my head. For a second, everything blanked out. I was drowning in pain; a red mist filled my eyes.
But I knew -- so deeply that I didn't need to think it -- that if I fainted now, he would finish me off. I knew that my life was on the line, and more importantly, my post count.
Thinking that, as I fell to the ground, I snapped my arm out and grabbed his ankle. I pulled it. He fell back, and I jumped on him and punched his head, again and again, sitting on his stomach.
Finally, he was silent.
Then I jumped up to the computer and...
POSTED ON THE LAST POST THREAD!
Posts: 3060 | Registered: Nov 2003
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posted
Too bad this was wasted on a thread that's not the last post thread. It was funny though. . . . . . Maybe that was your intention..since this is a thread about laughing, and that's what it made me do. Ahhh, I guess I underestimated you. I stand corrected.
Three men walked into a bar. The fourth one ducked.
A priest, a rabbi, and a muslim walk into a bar. The barteneder says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"
Horse walks into a bar, the bartender say, "Why the long face?"
A piece of rope walks into a bar, the bartender tells him, "We don't serve ropes in here." The rope stands up, walks out the door, messes up his hair, ties himself into a knot, and walks back it. The bartender looks at him and asks, "Aren't you a rope?" The rope looks at the bartender and replies, "No sir. I'm a fraid knot."
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll it be." The first replies, "A blood." The second asks for the same. The third looks at the bartender and says, sheepishly, "I'll have a plasma." The bartender looks at the group and says, "So that's two bloods and a blood light."
Feel free to beat me for such bad jokes.
Posts: 3003 | Registered: Oct 2004
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