quote: If you let the baby go into the nursery and fall asleep, don't be suprised if baby gets fed a bottle, despite you stating that the baby will be exclusively breastfed. This can cause nipple confusion
This is what happened to me with my first. I was young, only 20 when my first was born. I didn't know much and the hospital did not provide any lactation consultant or education beyond the 15 or so minutes in the childbirth class. I told the nursery I wanted to breastfeed and to bring my my little one but they didn't. They gave her a bottle anyway. I tried for several weeks, sobbing because she wouldn't breastfeed. I wish there had been some handout or something (I love the idea of a bag ) to give me resources. I really think she would have nursed had I known what to do.
With my son I had to make the difficult choice to not nurse. I did pump and bottle feed for the first month or so before I began formula. But he had a weak heart and was mildly tongue tied which made it hard for him to nurse. And he would get worn out by trying so hard. I didn't want to go the bottle route but it was best for him.
With my third I thoroughly enjoyed nursing! I knew enough by then to start him on the breast right after birth and it was great. Until my second had his heart transplant and my milk supply plummeted and B weaned himself because of the stress. I didn't get to nurse as long as I wanted but at least this time I had a lactation consultant at the hospital who came in and made sure I was doing okay with nursing etc. The one thing I liked about that hospital was they tried to support your choice about nursing. Now the choice to go no epidural is a different story.....
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I have 2 daughters. One is 2 and the other is 2 months. The 2 year old would not latch on. I pumped for 4 months. Not something I will do agian. Our 2 month old has no problem nursing, but I don't feel like we are bonding any better than I did with her sister.
I think that nursing is a personal choice. If you want to and can go for it. If you don't want to don't. No one should make you feel less than a women if you can't, or that you are a bad mother. That was the way people made me feel when I couldn't nurse my first child.
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quote:When Pamela Greene told a Fairfax County judge she was breast-feeding her 4-month-old daughter last year, she expected to be excused from jury duty.
Instead, the judge informed Greene that breast-feeding wouldn't be a problem: The court would take plenty of breaks.
What followed was a two-day ordeal in which Greene said she spent every spare moment sitting on a toilet in the jury room restroom pumping breast milk. It was hard to get access to a refrigerator to keep the milk cold, and the bathroom felt unsanitary, she said.
"The entire trial was this endless cycle of testimony, pump, testimony, pump," she said. "It was really very tough."
Inspired by Greene's experience, Del. Mark D. Sickles (D-Fairfax) this year sponsored a bill that would release breast-feeding mothers from jury service. The measure passed the Senate on Monday and has been approved by the House of Delegates. A spokeswoman for Gov. Mark R. Warner (D) said he supports the idea, which means the bill is almost certain to become law.
Virginia would be the seventh state to exempt breast-feeding mothers from jury duty. Neither Maryland nor the District provides such an automatic exemption.
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Wow, that's really odd, Dag. I've lived in two states where mothers of young children, whether they are breastfeeding or not, can just check a box on the summons and be exempted from jury duty. (I forget what the age limit is, but it definitely applies to mothers of children too young to be in school.)
What's wrong with Virginia? Posts: 5771 | Registered: Nov 2000
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I disagree....why should a mother get out of jury duty because she is breastfeeding? I know it is not easy, but it is her choice to do so. Also, how does the court system go about checking on that? I am sure that a lot of people use it just to get out of jury duty even though they may not be breastfeeding, but it isn't something that the courts can look into without offending people.
Perhaps there should be only certain types of trials they could be on, ones that don't run as long or something. That way they are still doing their civic duty while meeting the needs of the child.
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Getting out of jury duty is not one of the listed advantages of breastfeeding, Kwea. But it isn't just about breastfeeding. Even SAHM who formula feed have chosen a lifestyle that puts their children first.
This isn't like work where one is dispensible. Some people feel it is, but most who have chosen to stay at home feel strongly that no one but themselves can possible give the same kind of care and attention to their child. Many of them do it at great sacrifice to themselves. The feelings and common sense behind such a choice runs as deep, and has more proof of benefit for someone other than self, as something like a religous exemption from the draft.
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Interestingly, automatic waivers for young child care have given rise to accusations of gender bias in jury selection. It hasn't been ruled unconstitutional, but the practice has been criticized in some circles.
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I'd be interested to know how many states actually do exempt the primary caretaking parent of a young child.
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I don't think the "gender bias" thing would hold up if they exempt men who are primary caretakers as well as women. I mean, the alternative is to not exempt them, right? Even if I wasn't breastfeeding, that would pose an economic hardship problem in my family.
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quote: I disagree....why should a mother get out of jury duty because she is breastfeeding? I know it is not easy, but it is her choice to do so.
Unless, there is some medical reason why a mother can't breastfeed, I think it is a choice to not breastfeed.
Posts: 4625 | Registered: Jul 2002
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Dagonee, that's cool. The last time I served jury duty, my son was 2 or 3 months old and I was still heavily breastfeeding. During jury selection, I thought I was going to die before they called a break, I was so engorged. Of course, with such a long session before having a short 10 minute break, the rush for the bathrooms made for a very long line and there was no way I could pump. I ended up talking with one of the bailiffs, who found me a room and got the break extended until I was done.
Fortunately, I didn't have to serve beyond that one day -- they finished selecting the jury before they got to me. And I wasn't called for the rest of the week.
They wouldn't excuse me....they'd given me an extension on the notice because I'd originally been called to serve the week my son was due. With the extension they warned it couldn't be excused or extended again.
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quote:I don't think the "gender bias" thing would hold up if they exempt men who are primary caretakers as well as women. I mean, the alternative is to not exempt them, right? Even if I wasn't breastfeeding, that would pose an economic hardship problem in my family.
It's a question of disparate impact - facially neutral policies that affect more women than men. I'm not a fan of disparate impact arguments in general, but there's pretty clear evidence that this exemption affects more women than men.
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Yes, but how many more men than women get off becuase they're the sole support of their family and their employer doesn't provide jury pay? [/wondering]
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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I've been thinking a lot about the difficulty, other than proven medical cause, in breastfeeding that many have talked about. I think so much of it has to do with our lifestyle and culture.
In so many ways we've moved away from natural support systems. We no longer live in situations where the elder, experienced women supported the young mothers. Our lives have a very different focus. There is a very big gap between our activities and life sustenance activities - much bigger than at any other time in history.
Because of the high population, and that we do not perceive a risk of dying out, babies and children are no longer as important to society as they used to be. They are a luxury (even if socially expected), to wait for until other things in life are accomplished. They are an obstacle (even if well loved) to every other role that we require of ourselves as strong, independent women.
The result of this is that there is a great deal that we buy for baby that is not for her benefit but for our convenience. If we have a baby monitor, we can leave baby in a room so far away we don't have to worry about not hearing her cry. There are swings and vibrating seats, walkers, and play yards. These are all designed to put baby aside while mother does something else.
We are proud of the fact that we can get up and go so soon after giving birth. The idea of staying in for so long after labor seems medically unnecessary. But I suspect that much of the reason there was so much recovery time after birth in those days was as much to support being able to feed the baby as to physically recover from childbirth.
Practices of confinement while still bleeding would have helped the mother to rest while she established a good milk supply. Extensive help from other women, family members or neighbors, during this time was expected. This is no longer the case. Mothers or MILs may come to help for a week or two. If there is really, really good support in the community, the family might expect to have dinners prepared for them by neighbors. But after a couple of weeks, the family is left to fend for itself. Father has probably already been back at work for a week, and both parents are suffering from sleep deprivation. Under such stressful circumstances, nutritional quality of meals is likely to go down as the parents turn to convenience foods and restaurants.
On top of this, add the cultural misconceptions about breastfeeding, disinformation from formula companies and poorly educated medical personnel, the lack of trust we have in our natural body, and the erosion of confidence (from listening to the many failure stories of other mothers who tried and failed to breastfeed). It does make nursing considerably more difficult in our age than it ever used to be.
I think there are several solutions to this problem. A more extended maternity leave for fathers could help. Lactation consultants should not focus primarily on the mother, but on the environment she is in. All stress needs to be taken away from the mother, and it should be emphasized to her that she is not being lazy if all she does for those first weeks is care for herself and baby and keep him close. If family or friends cannot step in, it might be wise to hire a mother helper.
Doctors and nurses can't ensure this kind of thing, so the quick fix is to simply tell the mother she should give the baby formula so baby measures up to standard. What if, instead, the doctor put a cast on mother's foot and said that she wasn't allowed to walk around and do anything but take care of herself and baby? Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000
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Not arguing with you, but if I had been confined until I stopped bleeding, I would have been confined for 3 1/2 months. Just saying.
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Yes, but I didn't have a particularly rough birth, and I really needed to be going out by then, for the sake of my mental health.
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Yeah, I get what you mean KQ. But this is where modern science actually does us some good.
For one thing, we pretty much have an idea that the first six weeks is very important to breastfeeding. Once confidence of the mother and milk supply are well established, mother can start doing some more gradually. And taking care of yourself does include your mental health as well.
But not only that, we are far more aware of our nutritional needs. Bleeding for that long may have taken quite a bit more out of you 100 years ago than it does today, when your doctor probably recommended iron supplements to counteract the loss you were experiencing.
And you have my sympathy. That long would be pretty irritating.
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More from the article: Virginia already has an exemption that would seem to apply:
quote:Virginia provides jury duty exemptions for -- among others -- those over age 70, mariners taking part in maritime service and those who are "necessarily and personally responsible" for a child under age 16 or a disabled person during court hours. The existence of these provisions led several lawmakers to vote against the new measure as unnecessary.
"The courts can do this already," said Sen. Kenneth W. Stolle (R-Virginia Beach), one of four senators who opposed the bill. "The more people you exempt, the harder you find it becomes to get a jury panel."
quote:But not only that, we are far more aware of our nutritional needs. Bleeding for that long may have taken quite a bit more out of you 100 years ago than it does today, when your doctor probably recommended iron supplements to counteract the loss you were experiencing.
Nope. He just told me not to have sex until it stopped.
I am lucky enough, however, to be able to be a sahm, with a husband who doesn't mind picking up my slack on the housework. So if I needed to sleep, I slept.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Just my personal experience, I was excused from jury duty three times in a row by simply writing "breastfeeding" on my form and mailing it back. When I was called the 4th time, my toddler was nursing still ,but not often, and hubby had some vacation time so he ttok the time off, I went and served a week. Since we could afford it, using the vacation time to do dad duty while I did civic duty made sense (and, the toddler didn't wean, though he was old enough I would be fine either way).
Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Not to bring up a dead topic, but I thought this was funny-- Ems got a new baby doll sent to her that has a pacifier, a bottle, a change of clothes, etc. She decided to feed her baby, and so she started by giving her the bottle, but decided that the baby doesn't like the bottle, apparently, and brought the baby to me, stuck her against my breast, and said, "Na-na!" *giggles* I asked, "Doesn't the baby have a bottle?" She said, "Baby cwy. Bottle eeew-ie." I said, "Oh. Well, you're the baby's mama. Shouldn't she have na-nas with you?" Emma pulled up her shirt, looked at her chest, looked back at me and said, "Na-na widdle." ("Na-nas little.") I guess she gets it! Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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That's funny. Dan used to "breastfeed" one of my old dolls while I fed Jen. I think he's forgotten, though.
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Emma used to feed her dolls when they were hungry or when they got "hurt". But I guess she's differentiating between people who breastfeed babies (me) and people who don't (everyone else in this family, right now anyway!) I suppose I should be impressed. I'm just hoping she doesn't shove her doll onto me in public now! Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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) to give me resources. I really think she would have nursed had I known what to do.
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