posted
Oh, romany. I'm so sorry. You know where the Bible says "greive with those who greive"...my family and I will be doing that for your family this evening. Much love to your family.
posted
I hope this doesn't bother anyone, but it just felt wrong to let this slip away so quickly. dread pirate romany posts here a lot, and the fact that she told us the day it happened means that we are very important to her. I just wanted her to know that she is important to us, as well.
I'm still thinking about you, dpr. I fear that anything words of comfort I could say would sound trite or patronizing, except that I pray you'll find your way through this journey to a peaceful end.
Posts: 3495 | Registered: Feb 2000
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posted
There have been many other treads about babies recently, all of them (appropriately) with a different tone. Thank goodness we have happy news as well, but I wonder if this place is too stark a reminder for romanylass right now?
(((dpr)))
Edit: Amka, thank you so much for bumping this back up. I didn't mean this post as a criticism -- I've just been musing on whether to write her (which I think would be a good idea) and noting how many reminders there may be here. *sigh
posted
I didn't post on this the first time around, because I just didn't think there was anything I could say.
I will say, dpr, you are in my prayers, and I sincerely hope that you are taking comfort in the love and support of your family and church, and know that we love and support you too, as much as we are able to.
posted
I know it is not a criticism, CT. I think I bumped it specifically because of the other news on the board, and I want dpr to know that it hasn't made us forget her.
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posted
I just want dpr to know if she sees this that our family are still praying for and "mourning with" her and her family.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Amka, that is very sweet. You all mean so much to me.
I admit, right now I am popping in, reading this thread and leaving. I know that sounds selfish and as time goes on I will branch back out into all the normal stuff. So I haven't read any of the other baby threads, but my congratulations to anyone who has head or is expecting one. I'm sorry I'm too "involved" in this right now to really be here for others.
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One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the LORD.
Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand: one belonging to him, and the other to the LORD.
When the last scene of his life flashed before him, he looked back at the footprints in the sand.
He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints.
He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.
This really bothered him and he questioned the LORD about it:
"LORD, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."
The LORD replied:
"My son, my precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
I'm sorry for your loss. The above always helps me when I'm sad.
Posts: 832 | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
Update: It has been a little more than a week now. This is so hard. I always thought one thing I could never survive was the death of one of my kids but well, I have no choice, I have three living kids who need me. A lesson I would have rather not have to learn.
I start counseling today; I hope that helps.
Moms and dads greive differently. IN the last week my husband has cleaned, re-arranged, repaired things that have sat broken for months, and shredded 20 years of old documents. Wore out one shredder and bought another to finish the job. Me, I pretty much just cry. I think it would be easier for *me* if he would cry sometimes, but I have to be there for him, where and how he is.
The kids, wow, the greive erratically. Go a few days sometimes without crying, then break down. Matthew (almost 8) doesn't like us to talk about the baby and tells me "not to think about it because it makes you sad". He wants to return to normal routines in a few days...hard, but I think they really need it.
The memorial is the 19th.
Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
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Thanks so much for letting us know how you're doing. I've thought of you and your family so often this last week. I wish I were there to give you all a real hug.
space opera
edit: dpr, would you mind if we all got together and sent some flowers for the memorial? I know that some many of us are hurting for you, but we can't be there. Maybe by sending flowers in some small way we can be.
[ March 08, 2005, 05:59 PM: Message edited by: Space Opera ]
Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
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posted
T Medina- KNow you are right. It helps to rmind myself that he was raised to be strong and I am positive one of the things his dad told him when he called was to "take care of Jenna".
Space Opera- that would be very touching. We had not even begun to think about flowers. We have no idea how to plan all this. Luckily we see the pasto next week ( she is in Haiti right now) and she'll walk us through it, but this is her first memorial too.
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posted
I don't want to butt in or give unwanted advice, but something that helped my cousins when their little brother was stillborn was to draw pictures for him. The pictures were displayed at the memorial, and then put away and saved in a special box with the things that had been made or bought specifically for him and were too painful to look at. The box went in the attic, so whenever they (or thier parents) need to look at it, they can go and remember him, but no one has to who doesn't want to. The picture-drawing made them feel like they were contributing or doing something to help, and also provided an outlet for their grief. (I think one was a picture by the oldest of the baby in heaven; another was just a pretty flower the younger girl drew, and the youngest just scribbled, but his pictures were labeled with what he told his mom about them: "The baby doesn't have to cry, he's safe now" was the most memorable.) Their father is a minister, I don't know where he got the idea, but it really seemed to help them and make them feel included, and putting them away afterwards with some ceremony provided an extra sense of closure that the youngest two didn't really get from the service.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
dpr, a thread has been started for flowers. When more arrangements are made, perhaps you can e-mail me with the information. I *don't* want to make this harder on you. It's just that I know so many of us are hurting for you and it's one tiny thing that we can do to show how much we care for you and what you're going through.
I also did not see this thread until just now. I'm so sorry for your loss, and the tough times ahead for your family. I hope the knowledge of friends who care about you and your family will help you attain some peace down the road.
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