posted
My only conclusion is that it's someone deliberately trying to sound liek someone they're not.
Posts: 8504 | Registered: Aug 1999
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posted
There wasn't any conscious decision not to sound like myself, but of course the narrator of the story doesn't sound like me, so it's misleading.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Mar 2005
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Also, for some clarification: the excerpt is from a brainstorm I did a few weeks back.
The idea I started with was how creepy cats look when they're staring at nothing, and I had expanded it to the idea that they either see ghosts, or are seeing a future event that will take place in the exact location they're staring at.
The ghost/animal's being sensitive thing is done a lot though, so i was aiming more for the "seeing into the future" angle.
The brainstorm, however, went completely off-topic...
here's the following paragraph:
quote: My cat sounds kind of like my ex-girlfriend sometimes. Acts kind of like Crystal, too. Lies around all day, staring at me like I killed her mother, eating two bites of food and then she cozies up to me all nice and snug and I roll over for her.
Okay, part process of elimination, part my same reasoning above, and part trying to think of people who post at other forums, given the above exchange, I'll go with Ethics Gradient.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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I've read some of twinky's work before, and I know that he is a solid and clear writer. I just didn't know that he was one to vamp on Cats at the beginning of a story.
Primal Curve is my alternate guess.
Posts: 5600 | Registered: Jul 2001
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There was swearing originally in the story (f-bombs, the like) which I took out because it wouldn't have gone over too well here. Also, the narrator is a twenty-something just-out-of-college guy who finds the cat as a stray and she won't stop meowing at his door so he takes her in.
There's also a humorous exchange I wrote that takes place at a supermarket where the guy goes to buy cat food.
Posts: 8 | Registered: Mar 2005
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The piece is very clear. I don't have a problem with your diction or sentence structure or anything like that.
Posts: 5600 | Registered: Jul 2001
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I thought about Tom before, but, though Tom has a very sharp sense of humor, this sounded more informal than I would have expected from him.
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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And from now on, everyone please put their guesses in bold. It's much easier to pick them out when you're scanning to see if anyone has already been guessed. Posts: 14428 | Registered: Aug 2001
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Icarus, you have flattered me more than any human being could reasonably expect in this thread...Chris Bridges, Tom, Scott R, Bob...I mean, how am I ever going to write now with such an enormous head?
Posts: 8 | Registered: Mar 2005
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quote:Course, I didn’t know what to get her at first, I had to go to the supermarket to find out. The cashier was this really greasy looking kid, like high school or something, obviously would rather be pulling kitty whiskers out than helping me and the entire old lady population of downtown Philly feed their furballs.
“So, I mean, what should I feed her? She looks really skinny and stuff.”
“Cat food’s in aisle 3.”
“Yeah, man, I know, I was just there. What the f*** do I know the difference between Whiskies and Friskies and Tricksies?”
“I don’t know, man, I just started Tuesday.”
“Don’t you own a pet, man? I just need some advice.”
“I got a boa constrictor. It eats live mice and crickets. You wanna buy your kitty some live mice and crickets?”
“Do I have to feed them to her by hand, man? Cause, man...mice...”
“Feed her cat food, man! It’s in aisle 3!”
“Fine, what color?”
“Who the f*** cares?!?”
So I closed my eyes and pointed and ended up getting the freakin' cat that Kaboodle stuff.
posted
You know, if everyone kept a spreadsheet there would be so much less confusion as to who had already been guessed. Also, Ethics Gradient, Sopwith, and Primal Curve are not on the list.
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I don't think Tom would make a new screen name for anything. Certainly not for this. Looking over the list of people who have posted in this thread, Katie seems a good match, but I don't think she'd ever write anything with actual swearing in it.
I'll guess Leonide, just because she's posted in here.
quote: She looks like any cat, you know, not black, cause I’m not gonna take in an unlucky cat, nah, she’s got tiger stripes, dark grey ones, and the rest of her is all sorts of colors. But non-descript, ya know? How something with that many shades can be non-descript...but you get my drift. She’s your every-cat. She’s got class, though, no garbage-digging for my Crystal, oh no. I would of smelled it on her the very first day. No, she’s a little prima donna. She stuck her black-and-pink nose straight up in the air the first time I offered her Kit ‘n’ Kaboodle. Damn feline’ll only eat those wet chunks of ground up horse meat, or whatever the h*** they put in ‘em. Tastes like crap, anyhow. I mean, it smells like crap. I haven’t been chowing down on her food, now.
fun round, guys, you had me laughing a lot. Especially Icky...i was SURE you'd get me after you thought of Strider...but you were so convinced that it was a guy! Silly!
And yeah, I don't like the excerpt that much -- i like the idea, and i like my "hero" of sorts and his attitude towards his cat, but i have my "great idea" and just can't seem to get it out on paper.
I'll probably turn my attentions towards my alien story now Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002
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posted
I thought it was really good, Leo, and I think you definitely should keep working on it. I'm sorry to hear you disparage it. :-\
Posts: 13680 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
What I mean is, i don't know where to go with it. I'm not a twenty-something male, so I think eventually I'd hit a roadblock when it came to writing him.
I don't mind the idea of a kinda snarky guy and his cat. It gives me hope for mankind
No disparagment, I just agree with anyone who said it needed tightening up.
The voice, however, is dead on. Cause I say my dialogue outloud and that is exactly how my guy would talk, even if the rest of you schlumps can't hear it. Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002
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