posted
So, so, so amused by the number of men attempting to answer this.
I say, it's different for every woman; if you want to know what a particular woman wants, ask her.
Respect, however, is an excellent place to start.
And if you went to the movie Carrie referenced looking for answers, you're totally lost. Nothing, NOTHING in that movie represented how women actually think.
And, incidentally, I may be nitpicking here, but I think in Jerry Maguire, "kwan" was a French-ified pronunciation of the word "coin." Posts: 4077 | Registered: Jun 2003
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posted
*starts to sing "All that She Wants" by Ace of Base*
Oh, wait, that's just one woman.
Well, I'd say that there's no one thing, although unconditional love is pretty good. If you've got unconditional love, respect (if you're earning it) and caring kind of follow.
quote: ♫ "How to handle a woman, There’s a way said a wise old man, A way know by every woman, Since the whole rigmarole began! Do I flatter her, I begged him answer, Do I threaten or cajole or plea, Do I brood or play the gay romancer? Said he, smiling, "No, indeed!" "How to handle a woman, Mark me well, I will tell you sir! The way to handle a woman, Is to love her, simply love her, Merely love her, love her, Love her!" ♪
posted
Security... Interesting, but i don't think. I am a single, 1m91 talled, very large souldered, financially welled man. If it was security, why women aren't on my foot ?
I persist with Love with a big "L".
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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quote:1 : to sue for the affection of and usually marriage with : COURT 2 : to solicit or entreat especially with importunity 3 : to seek to gain or bring about intransitive senses : to court a woman
Here it means "to court a woman;" i.e., to please her as best you can in order to bring her to consent to marriage. Or, perhaps, less honorable motives.
Posts: 14017 | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Do you want to read all my poetry ? Many friends (and here) think it is not so bad. And i am musician too Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
Choobak, I think you're getting a different sense of security than I meant. I don't mean physical or financial security.
I mean emotional security.
I want to feel confident in my love for that person and confident in their love for me. Sure that they'll be right there beside me tomorrow, next week, or next year. Stability is a similar word, though I think security is a stronger feeling of the same.
Posts: 1892 | Registered: Mar 2002
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posted
ô, nuance of language i don't understand what you say... Finally, we said the same thing... when i said love, i included this feeling of security.
Posts: 1189 | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So the monarch offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question.
Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.
The question: What do women really want?
Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by year's end.
He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.
Many people advised him to consult the old witch - only she would know the answer. The price would be high; the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged. Finally, the last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk to the witch.
She agreed to answer the question, but he had to accept her price first.
The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most notable of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend!
Young Arthur was horrified: she was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises ... etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden. Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.
He told him that nothing was too big a sacrifice compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's question thus:
What a woman really wants is to be in charge of her own life.
Everyone instantly knew tha t the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur's life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch granted Arthur total freedom.
What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch put her worst manners on display, and generally made everyone very uncomfortable. The fateful hour approached. Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But what a sight awaited him!
The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him! The astounded Gawain asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she'd appeared as a witch, she would henceforth be her horrible, deformed self half the time, and the other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self.
Which would he want her to be during the day, and which during the night?
What a cruel question! Gawain pondered his predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his home, an old witch? Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman with whom to enjoy many intimate moments?
What would you do? (Pause awhile and do not read on until you have made your own choice).
Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time, because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.
posted
If we have to generalize, I would say that what women really want is for people to care what they want.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
No. Generalizing again, I think men want to get what they want. I think women merely want people to want them to get what they want, which is not quite the same thing.
Posts: 37449 | Registered: May 1999
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posted
I'm not convince you can lump women together. I think a better question is, "What's the one important quality with which men, uniformily, are stingy?"
posted
So women also want to get what they want, but what they want is to have people want them to get it?
Posts: 98 | Registered: Jan 2003
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quote:Are you reading the same thread? Need does not necessitate a villian.
Maybe, but I don't know if women have that much in common with each other besides the same jive that they get from men.
Posts: 5600 | Registered: Jul 2001
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posted
Everyone instantly knew that Tom had uttered a great truth and that Christys' life would be good. And so it was.
Seriously Tom, that one made me scratch my head, and then grin, and then laugh out loud at how right it sounded.
Posts: 499 | Registered: Mar 2004
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quote:The only thing they have in common is a common enemy? Baloney.
The only thing that they have in common that is distinct from a "What do men want?" Or "What do people want" thread.
I think women are astoundingly diverse, and the only want they have in common, that they don't share as being a member of the human race, matches up with a deficiency in men. The entire question is, "What do women, as women, want in a relationship, but know that they may get."
quote:Beren, darling - time to come home now and pick up your dirty socks.
Of course. What are househusbands for.
quote:I think women are astoundingly diverse, and the only want they have in common, that they don't share as being a member of the human race, matches up with a deficiency in men. The entire question is, "What do women, as women, want in a relationship, but know that they may get.
I started this thread because I was interested in finding out how many people would assume that the thing women want would come from men.
Are there things that women would want as a group that does not come from a deficiency in men? Perhaps things related to motherhood, emotional security, equality, and, as Tom suggested, empathy?
I guess emotional security and equality can be attributed to male deficiency as well. As for parenthood, are there concerns that a mother has for a family that is different from those of a father?
Posts: 4116 | Registered: Apr 2002
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quote:I think men want to get what they want. I think women merely want people to want them to get what they want
This is so key. Most of the married women I talk with want to be part of a team. They want to be an equal part of a team, no greater, but no less significant than their husband.
Funny thing is that the "no greater" part is just as important as the "no less" part. And I agree completely.
The women I know would gladly give-up a night's sleep, deprive themselves of material things or go through emotional turmoil if they knew that they weren't being forced to do it and that their teammate was always on their side.
Posts: 2425 | Registered: Jan 2002
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quote: "How to handle a woman, There’s a way said a wise old man, A way know by every woman, Since the whole rigmarole began! Do I flatter her, I begged him answer, Do I threaten or cajole or plea, Do I brood or play the gay romancer? Said he, smiling, "No, indeed!" "How to handle a woman, Mark me well, I will tell you sir! The way to handle a woman, Is to love her, simply love her, Merely love her, love her, Love her!"
This song was posted farther up, but I'd just like to comment on the " " Personally, I think this song hits the nail squarely on the head. It probably didn't at the time when it was written -- because given society at the time, "love" meant little more than "i'm attracted to and concerned about you"
But now that love has developed as a term to include respecting, honoring, listening to, learning form, and generally working with the person you love, I don't find the song in the slightest bit condescending to the "emotional female"
I tear up every time I hear it because it's a simple truth -- all women really want is someone who loves them -- when love is given freely and worked towards every day.
Posts: 3516 | Registered: Sep 2002
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