posted
Okay, I'm up in the middle of the night because I'm afraid of what the OB doctors will be like. My daughter was born almost 7 years ago in a Birthing Center, and I had a wonderful birth experience. However, due to changing insurance crap, I'm stuck with a local doctor and can't do what I did before.
My biggest fear is that the doctors will make me do things that make me feel unsafe.
So, my beloved and trusted Hatrack medicos and others, can you help me assuage my fears? They are legion.
posted
Fear: Needles. Most of the people I speak to and the books I read tell about how OB doctors want you to have an IV "just in case". What the heck? Can't doctors and nurses do an IV rather quickly in an emergency? Isn't that like Basic Training for medical personnel? Why do I need to have something poked in me just because I'm giving birth? Also, I DON'T WANT it to be easy for them to slip chemicals into my veins.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Fear: Strep B antibiotics. One of the main reasons they force you to use an IV. If I remember correctly, when I had my daughter there was a test. 50% of women have this microbe in their vaginas. Yet an incredibly small amount of babies actually have horrible complications from it. My husband, an engineer who knows a heck of a lot about statistics, agreed that the risk was incredibly low. Also, I'm deathly allergic to penicillin. I AM NOT going to have IV penicillin or any of its relatives. With my daughter, I just declined the test. The nurse-midwives made no big deal about that.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Fear: Epidurals. AHHHHH! BIG NEEDLE IN THE SPINE!!! If they make me do this, I think I'll just die. The epidural spot is my fear spot, where I feel fear and pain most acutely.
I have no fear of labor. I know what that feels like. I know techniques to make it not so bad. I know labor has a purpose, and it doesn't squick me out. With my first, I labored in squats, a tub filled with warm water and scented with lavender essential oil, and walked. It worked beautifully.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't know much about it and I am not very good at comforting people, but I'll try. I hope that it goes alright, even if I don't know you. There are many women around the world that gives birth to children under far worse surcomstances without problem. This does not sound very comforting even as I write it, but I don't know what to say. You will be alright.
Posts: 132 | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Fear: No eating, no drinking. To me, this seems an excuse to put in IVs. Why can't you eat or drink? At the Birthing Center, I drank juice and had food available (although I didn't want any food). It kept me going. They also gave me a bit of Royal Jelly (although I don't know if this really helped or was just psychologically encouraging).
I've heard that at hospitals, they only allow ice chips. What's the point of that? Labors go on for HOURS!!
My midwives also insisted that I have food for afterward. My mom came and made me mashed potatoes (my comfort food) and a cake (for the baby's birthday). The midwives joked that if I didn't bring food, they'd make me eat the placenta like mother cats do!
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I don't know if this helps, but in Sweden everyone gives birth at hospitals. No problem that I've heard of.
Posts: 132 | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Swede, of course you're right. I've got a phobia about hospitals. I just don't want my fears to interfere with birthing. I wasn't scared with my first baby - I felt safe, and the entire process went smoothly. Dare I say I enjoyed it?
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Fear: alcohol smell. This smell sets off alarms in my mind. I associate it with pain and death on a visceral level. When I walk through a hospital, I feel like a caged animal. Like I'm in a place where once I'm tied to a bed, I can't get out.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Jen, is there any way you can give birth at home? Some areas can send out a midwife to your home, which may a) work out cheaper and b) be less scary.
Posts: 1550 | Registered: Jun 1999
| IP: Logged |
posted
Fear: Strangers in Intimate Moments. From what I hear, your doctor doesn't show up until it's time for the baby to come. You have strangers monitoring your progress, strangers who haven't worked with you for 9 months. They want to do their jobs and follow standard procedures. But, of course, standard procedures bother me. So now what? Will they give me grief if I insist on following the plans my doctor and I agree upon?
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Amira, I'd like that. Unfortunately, Indiana is a really conservative state, and hospitals are Big Business here. Midwives are very much frowned upon. I was lucky to find licensed nurse-midwives in Indianapolis. But we had to fight the insurance company even then. Now, I have fewer options.
I'm hoping CT and others can help me feel safer about the "standard" hospital birth, or perhaps give me advice on what I can do to feel I am still in control of what happens to me.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ah, but will they trust me and my body? I went into my first birth COCKY, and I was encouraged to be confident. I honestly think it helped immensely to have an attitude of power. I wasn't afraid, I was excited, and I was able to work with my body on all levels. Mental, spiritual, physical. It was the most amazing experience. But my midwives approached birth with the expectation things would go well. Current US (Indiana?) medicine is set up to "keep things from going wrong". It's set up from a perspective of fear rather than an expectation that normal births are natural and not really in need of interventions unless there are problems.
(IVs, etc. are not very natural or trusting, in my opinion).
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Swede, being with me tonight has brought me much comfort. You've helped me by letting me know I'm not alone. Thank you for your kindness. I feel like I've had someone's hand to hold in a dark and scary place.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Jenny, are there actual laws requiring that a professional be present at a birth? If not, would you feel comfortable giving birth on your own, or with a non-licensed midwife? What about paying out of pocket for a midwife?
Sorry about your fears, Jenny. Remember, though, that many women have given birth safely in hospitals, just as many have given birth safely with midwives. I'm sure you'll be fine either way, though I suspect that for you, a hospital mentality will definitely make the process far more stressful. ((Jenny))
Posts: 3546 | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
If I can't find any doctors to work with me, I'd actually consider laboring at home until I couldn't stand it - just to minimize the hospital experience. I'd be less afraid of having my baby alone. But finances and worried relatives/friends most likely will get me to a hospital to give birth...
I need to keep researching my options.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
The hubby fully supported the birth center. We both loved that. But the money thing is a big issue right now. We're building a house, and can't afford too much out-of-pocket expense. He understands my fears, and also takes issue with a lot of the things considered "standard". Especially if they aren't really necessary. We've both experienced a really natural birth, and know how it CAN be done. Perhaps that's the problem. If I'd had no other option before, I'd have already had the hospital experience. Of course, the reason we went with the Birth Center in the first place is because of this hospital phobia of mine..
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Fear: Episiotomy. Cutting things pre-emptively. Yikes! Had 3 stitches for a very minor tear before. I can live with that.
Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Fear: forced breaking of water. I was with my sister when the doctor broke her water to make the baby come. When I gave birth, my water didn't break and I didn't feel like pushing until the very end. Would a doctor have broken my water early? I remember laboring and getting tired. I started slipping in and out of consciousness. My midwives said, "You've had a nice rest, but you need to get up and walk some more." I didn't want to, but I'd had great birth classes. "I know, I know". I got up and walked, supported by my husband. We went out on the porch, and my water broke, like a water balloon full of warm water. Hee! The sun was just coming up. I went back inside and said, "OH! I think I feel like pushing now!" Posts: 3141 | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
I'm sorry *hug* Are there any unconventional hospitals you can go to? Some place that isn't cold or sterile and doesn't scare you?
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
You could shop around before hand, look at each hospital, get to know the staff and stuff and ask what they do, what their standard percedures are. But, i can't blame you. Hospitals are scary. I haven't been in one very long since I was a cub.
Posts: 9942 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Jenny, I'm not one of the hallowed medicos, but I did just go through this whole shpiel and I was there every step of the way (I even had to do a little extra because a WHOLE ton of mothers were giving birth at the same time and their overnight staff was stretched thin).
To my knowledge, you can refuse all pain medications. We chose to have an epidural because Jess was going through a lot of pain (Ella decided to put her arm up and come out like Superman) and the epidural helped some. But anyways, I believe that, if you don't want any pain medication of any kind, you can say no.
You can also refuse Pitocin and any other drug that will enhance or speed up the birthing process. Honestly, if this is your second child you shouldn't have any problems (especially if you were able to have a natural childbirth the first time). Just make sure your husband is around to watch the nurses. Sometimes they don't read the charts and start doing crap you don't want. You'll need someone there who knows what's up to ask what they are doing and correct them if it is something you don't want.
They may make you take a saline drip though- if just to keep you hydrated. I don't know the policy on this. I knew Jess needed to take it because she doesn't drink enough and she couldn't keep fluids down enough anyways.
Also, I'd wager my wife has you beat on the needle fear front. It took me probably a half hour each time to coax her into taking any sort of needle. It sucked.
Posts: 4753 | Registered: May 2002
| IP: Logged |
I'll try to answer some questions for you today, based on my own experiences from "the other side." First, though, let's get this clear: I am pro-Andrea, pro-my-Jenny-G. I think it is great that you are working through this stuff early on, and I trust that you are smart and savvy enough (and enough of an expert on your own body) to make good, sound decisions for yourself and your baby.
Okay? I'll just do a sort of FAQ, but I support you in any and all decisions you make now or later.
Let me get some thoughts together, and I'll write in between work duties this morning.
posted
I have a degree in Child Development, with an emphasis in infancy. I also am the parent of 2 + 1 one the way children.
Jenny,
The most important thing for you to do as soon as possible is come up with a birth plan in writing. You know exactly what you want and don't want in regards to the birthing process. Once you have that birth plan, take it to your doctor. If he doesn't agree to it, in writing, find another one. I know that can be difficult with some insurance plans, but it's your body. You are entitled to have it treated how YOU choose. Don't take any crap from the doctor. Let him know that you are perfectly aware of your condition and it's ramifications. Most experienced OB doctors realize that they are there to help out, mostly in case of emergency, and that in the long run, they have very little control or influence in this process.
BTW, I'm personally not going to address most of your fears, because I'm confident CT is about to do a much better, more thorough job than I.
Posts: 995 | Registered: May 2003
| IP: Logged |
posted
Two words: Birth Plan. Have one, be absolutely certain that your doctor has signed off on it, and use it as a defensive weapon.
"Here, honey, just let me put in this IV."
"Standard IVs are not part of my birth plan."
etc.
Now, this requires a few important things: Most importantly, a good OB. I had a really great one, who actually encouraged me to have a birth plan (I never did, and while with the first it would have been largely irrelevant, since I was induced; and with the second one it was unnecessary because my labor was quick and my nurses were great; it would have been a Very Good thing to have with my third), and really listened to my concerns, and supported my choices. IMO, it helped a lot that she was also a pregnant woman.
Secondly, someone (sounds like your husband might be a good candidate) -- preferably, two or more someones, to allow tag-teaming -- who can act as an advocate for you. Once you're in hard labor, odds are you will not want to/ be able to object to any "standard" procedures you dislike. You need to have someone there who can and will do so (if necessary) for you, so you can relax and focus on laboring.
As for your specific concerns:
quote: Fear: Needles. Most of the people I speak to and the books I read tell about how OB doctors want you to have an IV "just in case". What the heck? Can't doctors and nurses do an IV rather quickly in an emergency? Isn't that like Basic Training for medical personnel? Why do I need to have something poked in me just because I'm giving birth? Also, I DON'T WANT it to be easy for them to slip chemicals into my veins.
As long as you are not a high-risk birth, this should be possible. I didn't have one with my second birth until after the birth, when I was hemorrhaging. (I did with the third, since they were concerned about a repeat performance -- but not until fairly late.)
quote: Fear: Strep B antibiotics. One of the main reasons they force you to use an IV. If I remember correctly, when I had my daughter there was a test. 50% of women have this microbe in their vaginas. Yet an incredibly small amount of babies actually have horrible complications from it. My husband, an engineer who knows a heck of a lot about statistics, agreed that the risk was incredibly low. Also, I'm deathly allergic to penicillin. I AM NOT going to have IV penicillin or any of its relatives. With my daughter, I just declined the test. The nurse-midwives made no big deal about that.
Make sure your allergies are noted in your birth plan, medical records, and your advocate remembers this issue. I have no idea if I ever had this test, but I wasn't given any antibiotics.
quote: Fear: Epidurals. AHHHHH! BIG NEEDLE IN THE SPINE!!! If they make me do this, I think I'll just die. The epidural spot is my fear spot, where I feel fear and pain most acutely.
Unless you are having a c-section, NO ONE should have any reason to "make you" have an epidural, or ANY kind of pain meds. You can put on your birth plan something like, "please don't offer pain meds" or something like that. (Personally, I recommend going in with the pain meds as an option, even if one you have no plans to use. But each labor is different, and it was useful to me to know that if it got really bad, I had choices. But there are options besides "big needles in your spine."
quote: Fear: No eating, no drinking. To me, this seems an excuse to put in IVs. Why can't you eat or drink? At the Birthing Center, I drank juice and had food available (although I didn't want any food). It kept me going. They also gave me a bit of Royal Jelly (although I don't know if this really helped or was just psychologically encouraging).
I've heard that at hospitals, they only allow ice chips. What's the point of that? Labors go on for HOURS!!
This one may be a sticking point. However, I'd recommend staying home as long as practical anyway (after consulting with your OB about what's reasonable). But yeah, once you're in labor they don't like you eating. Makes you more likely to puke all over their floor.
quote: My midwives also insisted that I have food for afterward. My mom came and made me mashed potatoes (my comfort food) and a cake (for the baby's birthday). The midwives joked that if I didn't bring food, they'd make me eat the placenta like mother cats do!
They will almost certainly be absolutely fine with you bringing food for after the delivery, and should also be able to provide you with a meal pretty shortly after delivery.
quote: Fear: alcohol smell. This smell sets off alarms in my mind. I associate it with pain and death on a visceral level. When I walk through a hospital, I feel like a caged animal. Like I'm in a place where once I'm tied to a bed, I can't get out.
Can you bring some essential oils with you, and use them to scent your room -- maybe apply them to pulse points that are out of the way (neck, for instance); scent the sheets, maybe?
quote: Fear: Strangers in Intimate Moments. From what I hear, your doctor doesn't show up until it's time for the baby to come. You have strangers monitoring your progress, strangers who haven't worked with you for 9 months. They want to do their jobs and follow standard procedures. But, of course, standard procedures bother me. So now what? Will they give me grief if I insist on following the plans my doctor and I agree upon?
One: find out if any of the hospital nurses give Lamaze (or similar) classes. You still might not end up with a nurse you know, but you'll get one who knows the one you know, most likely. Two: take the hospital tour. Most offer these for expectant parents, and they can help you feel comfortable with the hospital and personnel. Three: that's why you have a written birthplan. Anyone gives you grief, just keep repeating that you have a birthplan ok'd by your doctor. Four: in my experience, and that of most of my friends, the majority of L&D nurses are wonderful. There are the occasional exceptions, but that's why you have your advocate(s). They can go to bat for you, and if necessary (this was for me once), insist on a different nurse.
quote: Fear: Episiotomy. Cutting things pre-emptively. Yikes! Had 3 stitches for a very minor tear before. I can live with that.
Discuss with your doctor. Most should be ok with no episiotomy unless absolutely necessary. Have in the birth plan. And look into perineal massage.
quote: Fear: forced breaking of water. I was with my sister when the doctor broke her water to make the baby come. When I gave birth, my water didn't break and I didn't feel like pushing until the very end. Would a doctor have broken my water early?
Another thing to discuss with your doctor. I'm fairly certain you can also say no when they ask if you want them to break your waters. Now, it was always helpful to me when they broke mine -- it would revive my labor, which had an annoying tendency to slow down as soon as I walked inside the hospital ( ) -- but I know that's not true of everyone.
Jenny, make sure you find an OB you trust and who listens to you, and you'll be great. *hug*
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
| IP: Logged |
I had all 3 of my boys in a hospital, and it was probably a good thing, all things considered (complications, jaundice etc). My OB's were really good, and listened to me from the start of things. The main point is to interview different Ob's and find one you're comfortable with, and will listen to your concerns. Most good Ob's won't force you to do anything you are not comfortable with. You can refuse pain medication if you choose, however the IV is pretty much SOP if you're going to use pain meds.
Food: not sure about during labor, though there has been a trend away from the no food during labor, but they definately feed you after birth. I drank plenty of juice during my last labor, but no food. I wasn't hungry so I don't know if I would have been allowed to eat anyway. My sister in law was allowed to eat during child birth, and her children are younger than mine, so I will assume this may be dictated by hospital policy, but you may be able to put it into a birth plan.
The most important thing is to make sure you talk to your OB about your fears and come up with a plan in writing that you are comfortable with.
Posts: 33 | Registered: Mar 2005
| IP: Logged |
quote:“...Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
Oops, sorry - wrong genre.
Rivka, as always, has some great advice.
All I can tell you to do is face your fears - be strong for your baby and yourself. Do not let your child's entrance into this world be clouded in fear and doubt; you have that power.
Believe in yourself and know you are greater than the sum of your fears.
posted
When I worked as a pediatric resident, I worked at a local hospital that is both breast-friendly and has a history of advocacy for women. On the main website for the birthing center, there is now a link to a Birth Plan form which pregnant women (and partners, if they are involved and the woman choses to keep them involved) are heavily encouraged to fill out.
Free snacks are provided for women in early labor and their advocates/caregivers: a refrigerator stocked with sodas and juices, some cookies and crackers, cheese, yogurt, breakfast cereals, bread (and a toaster), hard-boiled eggs, fresh fruit, the whole shebang.
Birthing balls are available, as are other forms of natural birthing assistance. (I don't think they do water births there, but I trained as a medical student at a different hospital that did support and facillitate water births.) They are delighted to maintain a 100% approval rating from recently-pregnant patients for most surveys. It is a good place.
Nonetheless, there are times when an IV is encouraged, when an epidural is considered a good idea, when the mum is told "try not to push!" at the very end ( ), and so on. I'll try to explain some of the reasoning behind these for you. Part of it has to do with a different perspective, part of it does have to do with different concerns, and a lot of it (I think) makes more sense when you understand the rationale behind it.
Doesn't mean you still shouldn't be the one in charge of what is done to your body, and the one making the decisions. In all but the most life-or-death situations, I've always, always seen this honored. There was one case I saw, however, when a woman did not want an IV but suffered an abrupt total separation of the placenta, went into shock with the baby dying, and yes, an IV was put in. But that is certainly an extreme example.
posted
(((Jenny))) I completely understand where you're coming from. I was terrified of finding a dr. for this pregnancy because I didn't want to forced into the "birth mold" by a practice with 7 doctors. It *is* possible to find a good, natural-leaning OB. My dr. rocks. She's in private practice, and is as close to a midwife as an OB can get. I will deliver in a hospital (no birth centers around here) and am very confidant that I will have a natural birth according to my plan - which means no IVs, no giving birth on my back unless I choose, no pain medication (unless I ask for it), no constant monitoring, etc.
My first suggestion would be to ask your family dr. for a recommendation. He/she might know someone who would fit your needs perfectly. Also, do you have a choice of hospitals, or are you stuck with one? We were able to choose one that we know is much more natural-leaning. I second *many* of rivka's wonderful suggestions. Definately labor at home as long as possible. You are right in the fact that your dr. is not there the entire time, and you'll have to deal with "well-meaning" nurses. I also loved the idea of essential oils. I'm planning to use aromatherapy to help relax me during labor, but they will also work wonderfully to reduce that hospital smell.
I think the main thing though is to find a dr. who is on board with how you want to give birth. Doctors develop a reputation at the hospitals they deliver at, and if nurses know you're a patient of Dr. X, and that your dr. said it was fine for you to do XYZ they will be much more accomodating. Also, have your dr. sign off (physically) on your birth plan.
Take a deep breath and start researching doctors. You *will* find a great one, I'm sure of it. I was incredibly open on my first OB visit, and told my dr. that I wanted to make sure we were on the same page before I continued my care under her. If the doc had been one of those "everybody gets cut, you labor and give birth on your back, etc." I would have made that my last appointment. Thankfully she's very open, and I'm sure with some work (and believe me, I researched 10 other docs and came close to tears before finding this one) you'll find a dr. who will suit your needs.
posted
Jenny, don't be afraid to switch doctors. I switched 3 times (!) while I was pregnant with Emma, including the last switch when I was six months pregnant. But I ended up with a doctor I was comfortable with and confident in.
They will not make you have an epidural if you don't want it. I wanted it, and they wouldn't give it to me, despite recent research which says that it does not slow down labor. In fact, I did not progress until I said my pain was at 9 out of 10, with ten being the worst pain I could imagine (I was being pumped full of Pitocin), and then I progressed so fast, the doctor almost didn't make it. Which brings me to my next point...
Due to the way hospitals work, you will almost certainly be spending more time with the nurses than the doctors. Yes, you need to discuss your preferences ahead of time with the doctor. But when the time comes, your husband needs to be ready to advocate for you (because you know you won't be in much shape to do it for yourself, at least not nicely.) Make sure he knows what you want, and he can duke it out with the hospital staff for you. It may help to have a paper or two on the research that has been done about no eating and drinking, no moving around, etc. available. You can also have a tour of the hospital beforehand, and duke your questions and preferences out with them then. Do this before you're too far along, so if necessary you can change hospitals and/or doctors, as referenced in my first point.
I know it will be fine, honey. (((hugs))) Remember that no matter what you have to go through on the way, you will have a baby at the end of it.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Okay - I haven't read every reply (because there is a lot of them!) but Jenny I wanted to say that as long as you are very vocal about your wishes, most of them should be complied with, no problem!
I have had three children. All were born in regular hospitals - two were born under "public assistance" funds, so it wasn't like I had my pick of cream of the crop doctors or hospitals. Never did I have an IV at all. Never did they force break my water - never did I have an needles in the spine (I never used pain medication).
Only on the last one did I even have a "monitor" for contractions (and I asked them to take that off). I don't like lots of tests -- I don't like lots of sonograms - so I simply refused most of them. They can't do much about that.
I totally ignored their requests that I not eat and drink, and in fact, when starting labor with my first, on the way to the hospital I insisted on a stopping for a meal, because I didn't think they would let me have food in the hospital. (although I think my husband would have been willing to sneak me some if i had requested it.)
Of course, I have very easy labors and easy deliveries - so every person's experience is different. None of my decisions did anything detrimental to my personal experience.
Yes - it would be great if you could use a midwife at home -- that would alleviate lots of your fears. But I doubt your insurance would pay for it.
posted
I think you are on the right track, already, Jenny. I would add to the great suggestions so far: make the nurses your advocates. As you are checking in, tell them you are afraid. Ask them to help you by explaining everything they are doing. If there are procedures that must be done, tell them again how afraid you are. Ask them to help you. They will. Unless it is an emergency, you will be able to take things at your pace, under your control, with their help. I had four babies in hospitals. I found the maternity nurses, by and large, to be wonderful and very willing to engage with me.
I’m not phobic about hospitals. For me, it is dentists. This is exactly how I cope with dental procedures. I tell them when I call. I tell them when I arrive. “I’m afraid of this.” They sometimes look amused, but they always respond. It does help, because it turns THEM into my advocates.
Posts: 628 | Registered: Nov 1999
| IP: Logged |
With my first two, I went with OBs. This last I went with a nurse-midwife. I tell you, I will never go back if I can help it. But our insurance looks to be changing next month. I may not be able to go to the same group of midwives. I tell you, rather than go with an OB, I would travel the extra 10-15 minutes to go to the next closest group!
There are no birth centers around here though. That makes me very sad. In fact, if I had the means and the heart of an entreprenuer, I would start one myself! I live in Utah County where there are *tons* of births. I don't know why no one has thought of it yet.
So, while the midwives were *wonderful*, I had to deal with the "policies" of my favorite hospital. It was a small, personable hospital, like a little cottage almost. But they are strict about having an IV "plug" put in and no food or drink. That was frustrating. I wonder what would have happened if I fought vehemently. What would they do, kick me out? It just wasn't that worth it to me, to fight like that.
I remember my midwives confirming no food or drink, but then winking and saying that if I snuck some in, they would turn a blind eye.
I was seriously considering birthing at home myself. But, after going to the hospital I was glad. I was glad to be in a place where I didn't have to deal with my other 3 children. But I was also glad just for the resources they had for me. Fortunately for me, hospitals do not scare me. Probably because I haven't really had any bad experiences.
But being in a small hospital was definitely the way to go for me. There was a more homey, personal atmosphere. Less like being cattle-driven.
I'm sorry that you aren't able to go with a midwife right now. I feel for you there. Even when it is subtle, doctors tend to have the "I know what's best for you" attitude, while midwives are all about respecting you and being what you need most. They will actually listen to you when doctors only go through the motions of listening.
Yeah, and OBs are pretty useless in labor. They mostly just catch the baby.
Best of luck to you in your choices and options!
Posts: 7050 | Registered: Feb 2004
| IP: Logged |
I would go to local Bradley classes , and ask the other moms who they had for their OB and what their experince was like. The forums at Mothering have a providor locator.
Best of luck...you're looking at it in advance, so you have months to research!
Posts: 1021 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Agreed on the Birth Plan, thing. It really helped us get what we wanted... and like someone else also said, don't be afraid to switch doctors. In fact, ask for recommendations on one that's likely to be sympathetic. Also, maybe keep your eyes open for DO docs instead of MD's. They would be more likely to be sympathetic to your desires. Our insurance wouldn't cover our last home birth and we simply paid for it out of our pockets... at $2000, it was very do able... and probably cheaper (out of our pockets) than an insured birth at a hospital. You might do a comparison on what it would cost, out of your pocet, to have a home birth with a CNM, just paying for it outright, versus the 20% of the bill + deductible + co-pay of an insured hospital birth. Again, I'm almost certain we would have paid more out of our pockets if we had gone with an insured provider.
I just skimmed so I apologize if someone already said that and I missed it.
Edit: YES DPR! a Doula is also an excellent suggestion!
posted
Oh, about the allergy: I don't want to scare you more than you are, but you do need to be forceful and remind them often. I am allergic to rubbing alcohol. I know, it's weird, but I have a very bad reaction to it. Even though it was in my chart, I informed the nurses, and was wearing a bright red allergy-alert bracelet, three nurses and the guy with the epidural almost used it anyway. I had to speak up every time anyone came near me with a swab to ask if it was rubbing alcohol. (Once I asked, "Is that alcohol?", though, the nurse was very good about quickly making sure they didn't get it near me.) Not one person who came near me with an IV ever checked my bracelet for an allergy alert.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
quote: Also, maybe keep your eyes open for DO docs instead of MD's. They would be more likely to be sympathetic to your desires.
Not necessarily. My last switch was from a DO to an MD, and the MD I ended up with was much more flexible and listening than the DO.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
| IP: Logged |
posted
Ooh, I totally agree on the doula idea. I'd like to hire one, but quite frankly I think it would be a waste of money. Doulas are wonderful, but my last labor was under 4 hours with Operaetta being born 40 minutes after we got to the hospital. Though I realize every labor is different, with my history of quick labors (Boy Opera was under 6 hours) I'd hate to hire a doula only to have her get there and go, "Yep, there's the baby!"
Printer-friendly view of this topic
![[Group Hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Kiss]](graemlins/kiss.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Angst]](graemlins/angst.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[The Wave]](graemlins/thewave.gif)
![[Dont Know]](graemlins/dontknow.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
) -- but I know that's not true of everyone.
