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Yeah, we're convinced that that's the only thing that allowed us to control the reaction enough not to be in the hospital trying to avert brain damage. But I'd rather deal with that reaction than have her die of whooping cough or mumps or such.
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I don't the professor was completely out of line, and that's based on the story CT told. I'm not sure where it's linked, but no drugs or alcohol was involved and the baby still died. There is always a risk.
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There's a risk putting them in a crib, too; when we first moved Emma, I woke up to check and make sure she wasn't dying of SIDS every 2 hours or so. There are risks and benefits to everything. One incident does not a pattern make.
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I don't think it was an out of the blue, isolated incident. Saying absolutely never was probably not completely informative, but there is definitely a risk involved.
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I agree that there's a risk in that. I think, though, that parents should be informed of the risk and the benefits, not told that it's completely irresponsible to do this, when recommendations are leaning more and more toward "it's something to consider" rather than "absolutely not".
I am probably unduly influenced, having read The Family Bed at 18 and never having quite kicked some of the ideas; also, having had a child who slept in our bed more often than out for the first few months so we could get some sleep.
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Ah, I see. I think I saw one extreme position (no co-sleeping, ever) replaced with another. Full disclosure of all risks and benefits is always better. I'm a big fan of an abundance of information.
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Thomas has slept with us since he was 4 months old (he was in a bassinet before then). He has a crib but would scream at night when ever he got close to it. He would nap in there during the day, just not at night. We are going to try and transition him into his big boy bead for his second birthday next month. He is a wiggler and likes to sleep sideways and we only have a double bed. I love having him snuggle at night. His peditrician is a supporter of co-sleeping as are many other's in this area. It is an idea that seems to be growing in stregnth in the US.
[ April 28, 2005, 02:58 PM: Message edited by: Arthur ]
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We did give her Tylenol before the shots. What's the advantage to Advil over Tylenol? She's much happier now that Daddy's home, but it's not time for bed yet either. I would probably continue to co-sleep if she weren't such a big baby. I wake with my shoulder all cramped from not moving all night. I truly enjoy having her in bed it just hurts!
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I ave friends who swear by a combo of echinachea, arnica and Vitaman C before and after vaccinations to prevent a reaction. I beleive there is also a homeopathic remedy available at the health food stores that is formulated to prevent reactions. Arnica is mild and safe, and if nothing else will limit the swelling at the injection site.
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quote: What's the advantage to Advil over Tylenol?
Actually, 6 months is the first time you're supposed to give ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin), barring a doctor's orders to the contrary. Tylenol is preferred over Advil becuase it doesn't have those gastric side effects and for other reasons, but giving Tylenol too often can cause liver damage. Also, we've found that while Tylenol is effective for pain, for some reason it just doesn't bring a fever down in Emma without some help from Advil. (I shouldn't be surprised; weird reactions to drugs run in the family.) Therefore, following doctor's orders, we give Tylenol before she gets her shots and alternate Advil and Tylenol every four hours for the 24 after she gets her shots, which, as her reactions get milder and she gets older, keep her fever from going too high or lasting too long.
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This may be the hardest thing I've ever had to do! Oh dear Lord I feel like a complete heel letting her cry like this! I know it's for her own good but I think she's going to hate me for this! I need you guys! This is good for her, right? Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Hang in there Mom. Wait for a few minutes, then see if she's alright. Don't pick her up. The first day is the hardest, but she needs to realize that she won't get what she wants. Tough Love.
Any ladies have any better suggestions?
Posts: 410 | Registered: Apr 2005
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Val will be two months old on Saturday and we're having some issues with her sleeping, but not too many apparently.
She's been a bit colicky lately but we're seeing some improvement there. What's really the difficult part is that she just doesn't want to get to sleep before midnight or 1 a.m.
When she does finally fall asleep, we put her in a basinet in our room and she's finally started sleeping through the night. She's usually up at 7 a.m. as her Mom is heading to work, so I feed her, change her and then bring her back to bed with me to sleep for another hour or two (I work second shift).
She has sinus problems right now, so we like to keep her close enough to hear if her breathing problems flare up (and they have this week with her first head cold) but as she improves, we're looking forward to transitioning her to her crib in the nursery.
She likes the crib, but I just hope it will go smoothly.
Posts: 472 | Registered: Aug 2004
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Well, after an hour and a half, she fell asleep but only for half an hour. I can't do this anymore tonight. Well, try again tomorrow. Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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quote: Coccinelle, one thing that has been shown in studies about co-sleeping is that the baby sleeps better and longer-- and the mom sleeps worse, but more.
I wish I could remember where I was having this discussion with CT, because the studies she cited showed that the baby's sleep pattern was worrying with co-sleeping. It's a tricky question for sure, since how do you get accurate data in a normal sleep environment?
I've had a mix with my girls. My boy should be cloned because he slept through the night in his own bed from the age of 10 days. Then again, he wasn't potty trained until well after 4. So you never know what you are going to wind up with.
What SUCKS is that you can't let the baby sleep in your bed at the hospital now, so there is no chance of doing any recuperating after giving birth. It is the one thing that might cause me to consider home birth if I have any more children.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Since the "co-sleeping" I actually do is having the baby in a bassinette by the bed, then in the bed while I nurse lying down when she wants to nurse, and if I fall asleep, so be it; I usually wake when she's done, the hospital was a fine environment for me. But to each her own. Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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dawnmaria, sounds like it was difficult, but went pretty well for the first night. *hug* Give it time.
Advil/Motrin have two advantages over Tylenol: a dose is usually effective for longer, and it is an anti-inflammatory. Tylenol is not. Therefore, Advil is more likely to reduce swelling and tenderness, as well as pain.
Of course, your pediatrician is always the place to check regarding which to use in a given instance. Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Just an FYI to all expectant parents and parents with infants - there is a bassinet-type bed called a "co-sleeper" that's carried by Babies r Us. It's basically shaped like a bassinet but has a partially open side which you push up to your bed. So, baby is right beside you and sleeping with you, just not in your bed. Also, there's no high side to reach over if you need to pat baby's bottom, etc. It's probably what we'll be using for the first few months. I hadn't heard of it till my sister had her baby, so I thought it was pretty neat.
((dawnmaria)) Have you tried some soft classical music? That's always helped my kids - still does now!
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mt, that's funny...I had the same experience with my son -- he was a great sleeper early on, but was fully 4 by the time I got him potty trained. And even then, I had to bully him into it.
FWIW, our hospital didn't say anything against co-sleeping when our daughter was born. I'm generally against it, but my husband loved it after he spontaneously brought her to bed with him in the hospital. (Our birthing suite had a partner couch/bed, which he slept on the two nights we were there.) She slept with us the first two months. I'm still not a fan of cosleeping, but it did work out fine for us with her.
Hang in there dawnmaria. I don't know if it's of any help to you....I find it helpful to take a very long view when doing stuff with my kids that is very hard for me. Like when potty training my son. It was a number of years long process that I had to constantly remind myself would be over before he was 18. It reasserts my sense of humor. Your little daughter will balance the pain of learning how to sleep by herself now with all the love you pour over her during waking, playing hours. The love wins out, hands down. And she'll sleep by herself, through the night even, before she's 18. I'm sure of it. Posts: 5948 | Registered: Jun 2001
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I'll try the music tonight! I should have thought of it. We've used classical music often to soothe her. I played it on headphones on my belly before she was born and she always seems to respond to it. Thanks for the suggestion! Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Yes, we went in at 1st every 5 minutes then we extended it to 10 minutes. The last time I think we let her go almost 20 because she started to get less intense, more just crying to hear herself, if you know what I mean. Then she fell asleep. I just wish it had been for a longer period of time. It would be easier if she had her own room I think. But we're in a small place and her crib is in our room. I'm afraid even if we get her to go down she'll wake when we go to bed. Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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I just wanted to weigh in here and encourage you to keep it up with your baby. I'm sure you're aware, this won't be the last time you make her mad at you. But you have to be consistent, and now is the time, not when she's 14 and climbing out of windows because you've grounded her for breaking curfew.
Yes, it's hard, but it's important and if you give in now because she's cute and cuddly and oh so sad, it'll just be that much harder to make a stand when she's 6 and not so cute, or 16 and way too cute for her own good.
Just some encouragement from someone who's raised 5 girls (well, almost, my youngest are 14 and 16).
(and just to be clear and fair to my daughters who may read this, none of my girls ever climbed out the window when they were grounded... but they did get pretty mad at me for a while)
Posts: 2069 | Registered: May 2001
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quote: Just an FYI to all expectant parents and parents with infants - there is a bassinet-type bed called a "co-sleeper" that's carried by Babies r Us
quote: FWIW, our hospital didn't say anything against co-sleeping when our daughter was born.
It was a new policy in 2003, due to the studies that showed SIDS happening with co-sleeping, and maybe it was just a Utah thing. With my two oldest, I could have them in the bed as long as it was not inclined. Then again, I had an epidural so maybe that was the issue. They said I could put the baby in the nursery so I could get some sleep any time I want, but 20 minutes later they were back with her saying nothing would quiet her. Another thing that sucks with the epidural was they check your vitals more often, it seemed.
Posts: 2010 | Registered: Apr 2003
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I had a baby in December and would fall asleep with her in the bed with me. We were in Utah, and I had an epidural.
Posts: 747 | Registered: Aug 2004
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OK, here we go with night #2. I really want to just cry myself. I found myself getting very depressed the closer bedtime came. I don't know how many nights I can do this. What is the worse case senerio here? A week? 2? I may run away by then! Am I not doing this right? Or is she just posessed by demons?
Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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She's been crying without me going in there for 45 minutes and she is still crying. My husband has exhausted the internet for anything he can find. Some docs say she's to young for this some say it should have been done months ago. I know I can't do this to her anymore......wait...we have silence...ohpleaseGodohplease...I may be sleeping in the hall so as not to disturb her! OH PLEASE LET THIS BE IT! If not we may go to plan B and wait a little longer.
Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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Hang in there dawnmaria! It was hell on me when we did this with my son. It was like ripping my heart out. Stay strong! It will work. Remember, you and your husband will be better parents if you get enough sleep. Remember why you are doing this.
Does anyone else keep playing that episode of Mad About You in their head each time you read through this thread?
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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Well, after crying for 45 minutes straight, she slept for only a half hour. We didn't move for fear of waking her so I know she woke on her own. I think the only thing we accomplished is making her even more "Mommy" needy. Ever time she woke last night or every time I even shifted, she'd reach out her little arms and latch onto me like a leech. An adorable leech but a leech none the less. I think we're going to give her a little more time. Maybe she is too young or I am just a wussy but either way I can't hear those screams anymore. It's just not worth it. I am still getting more sleep now then when I had her in the crib. She doesn't get up in the middle of the night if she's with me and the Hubby is usually ok with it. He says last night was bad because she was so wiggly. I think she was trying to reassure herself we were there. But I might be giving her emotions she's not feeling out of empathy. All I know is the crying feels wrong and while the bed feels like I'm spoiling her at least I don't feel like it's hurting her. I just want to thank all of you who came to help me through this. I can always count on Hatrack! See my girl: http://www.darthunix.com/pics/displayimage.php?album=14&pos=54Posts: 601 | Registered: Sep 2002
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She is so cute! Dawnmaria, you shouldn't feel bad about any decision you make. Maybe when she is totally better, you can try again if you want to.
Posts: 10890 | Registered: May 2003
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Follow your instincts. I'm sorry it's been so rough. Another idea (for when you're ready to try the babe sleeping by herself again) - when my kids were babies I also usually sat in the rocking chair in their room and read while they fell asleep.
space opera
edit: kq, the Babies r Us in my town carries the co-sleeper for $130, which was the cheapest I saw on that page. Did I miss the cheaper one, or are our prices just different? *wants cheapest one possible*
[ April 30, 2005, 03:55 PM: Message edited by: Space Opera ]
Posts: 2578 | Registered: Apr 2004
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But I'd rather deal with that reaction than have her die of whooping cough or mumps or such.
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I would probably continue to co-sleep if she weren't such a big baby. I wake with my shoulder all cramped from not moving all night. I truly enjoy having her in bed it just hurts!
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Another thing that sucks with the epidural was they check your vitals more often, it seemed.
