posted
First of all, even unmodified Ferberizing is NOT simply "leaving a baby to cry"; modified even more so.
Second of all, sometimes leaving a baby to cry IS the necessary/reasonable thing to do. I have a friend whose daughter (now almost twelve and a lovely, sweet young lady) was colicky from a few weeks of age until almost 6 months -- long after the doctors (and she kept taking her to the pediatrician, and then another one, and another one) said she would stop. NONE of the usual colic comfort methods did much; most did absolutely nothing.
Her pediatrician strongly recommended that she try one or two comfort methods, and then (if they didn't work) to just leave the baby in her crib to cry. He did this because my friend was pretty close to a nervous breakdown, but I have heard similar advice given to other parents of colicky infants.
You don't have to agree with my methods. I don't agree with some of yours. But I would not tell you were wrong to use them (unless I seriously thought they were dangerous).
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I didn't use the word wrong, I said it touched a nerve with me. I think I must react to hearing about it the same way a vegetarian reacts to someone describing the yummy steak they made. But I do think misused it can be dangerous. I have heard way too many stories of babies crying until the threw up on themselves (usually followed by the moms doing things differntly). Believe me when I say that if we never resorted to Ferberizing Olivia, there's always another way. The only thing we remember from her first year is crying and sleeplessness followed by more crying and sleeplessness. But I feel I did the right thing by her.
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posted
You have not used the word wrong. You've merely implied it, repeatedly. What do you think sentences like "we never resorted to Ferberizing Olivia, there's always another way" imply, exactly?
And the editorial stated it blatantly.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
I believe I did the right thing by my child by making her sleep, and ensuring I had enough to take care of her without snapping.
Posts: 21182 | Registered: Sep 2004
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posted
Same here. I have GOOD memories of my kids' first years. I am a much better mommy when I got enough sleep.
Posts: 32919 | Registered: Mar 2003
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posted
You all did the right thing for your situations and your kids and most of all for yourselves. It is important to have a healthy, happy and loved child, but at some point it comes with too high a toll on yourself and decisions have to be made.
There is nothing wrong with the Ferber technique if it works for your child and I have heard many happy parents who had one tough night of standing their ground that this was bedtime and their children and themselves had many blissful nights of sleep afterwards with no fussing, and as rivka points out, there are no battles later on about introduced comfort techniques. We tried and after a week of frustration on all ends, I realized this was not a technique that was going to work for us. I've spent two months trying to find one that would and I'm not convinced that Sophie didn't just decide that it was time for her to go to sleep on her own herself now that she knows what 'night-night is. She outsmarted me.
Posts: 1777 | Registered: Jan 2003
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